On the struggle bus

It is 3:30 in the morning here in Ireland.

And I am on the struggle bus.

I am so triggered that I am unable to sleep.

I slept earlier for about 1.5 hours, but then, that was it.

The nurses who are on duty tonight have been really awesome to me.

One offered me Haldol for PRN but I refused, as I am finding it useless.

Plus, my throat still hurts and it isn’t easing up any.

One of the nurses just brought me a cold glass of orange juice to soothe my throat.

Tomorrow, my nurse, Megan is going to phone Dr. Barry and ask her if she can take me off the ward for an hour to go get a smoothie, or ice cream, or a coffee.

I can’t see Dr. Barry having a problem with that.

I also have to have a pessary inserted into my vagina in the morning, which my assigned nurse, Megan is going to do for me.

I am so scared and the kids are all freaking out.

I’m afraid we’re going to go into major meltdown and switch all over the place when she’s doing it.

Luckily, we have therapy tomorrow morning too over the phone with Eileen.

I was so grateful when she texted me today asking me if I’d like to have a session.

My thoughts are running a mile a minute.

Plus my anxiety about having to have the pessary inserted is off the chart.

It is just not a good night.

Author: Carol anne

I am in my mid 40's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland. View all posts by Carol anne