Goals for Tuesday

i have just a couple of goals for tuesday.
im taking it easy although from my schedule it seems like i wont be doing much taking it easy even though i feel like i sorta will.
anyway, my goals…

take meds
shower
go get my 3 monthly shot
eat a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner
go volunteering
go visit my friend, and do some training with her
read a few chapters of my book
talk to my mom on the phone
make an appointment for nitro at the vets
exercise a little bit, maybe do the workout on my phone
have an early night if possible

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10 things I am thankful for

I thought I’d do a little gratitude list today. I like to do these every so often, it keeps me focused on what I am grateful for in my life. So here goes.

I am thankful for my guide dog, Nitro. He makes my life special.

I am thankful for my therapist Eileen. Her love and care for me make me feel valued and special.

I am thankful for a warm bed to sleep in.

I am thankful for enough food to eat every day.

I am thankful for my friends. My family.

I am thankful for my volunteer job.

I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful for my psychiatrist, whose expert advice I couldnt do without.

I am thankful that I can read, reading is knowledge.

I am thankful for my life, sometimes its hard and I dont feel like going on but I have people in my life who show me that life can be great, and I am so thankful for all of them.

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i am a hot mess

I AM A HOT MESS. I DONT WANT TO TALK IN THERAPY TODAY. BUT KNOW I HAVE TO. I HAVE TO IF I WANT TO FEEL BETTER. I AM SCARED THOUGH. I FEEL TRIGGERED, HUGELY TRIGGERED, I NEED A HUG FROM EILEEN BUT AM TOO SCARED TO ASK HER FOR ONE. I FEEL ALONE AND MTHOUGHTS ARE WHIRLING AROUND IN MY HEAD. I HATE THIS FEELING.
LIZ

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3 hours

thats how much sleep i got. i’m exhausted. i am definitely going to try to nap today at some point. i have to. i barely was able to get up. its almost 8 AM now. i had to really push myself to get out of bed. nitro needs to be fed and i need to book my taxi to go to therapy. i’ll be going to therapy at 9:30. for a 10 AM apt. i’m anxious about therapy. am looking forward to actually seeing eileen but just anxious about what is going to come up today. i think i’ll allow the kids to bring their new book and she can read it to them. and we can record it. that will be good. just still feeling quite emotional this morning. can feel liz’s emotional turmoil seeping through to some of the rest of us. liz is doing somewhat better, but she’s still not fully ok. i think fathers day triggered her more than she’s letting on. she doesnt really get along with our dad. she never has. when we were a teen they had a lot of clashes, their personalities are too similar. when i get home from therapy i think i’m going to read, and finish up my book. i have 9 chapters to read. there are 20 chapters, i’m now starting chapter 11. thats if i dont fall asleep while reading. anyway. better go on and ring to book my taxi. catch yall later.
carol anne

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helo everybudy

Helo. It is darina here. How everbudy be?

I had fun at the beech yesterday

I didn’t get ta play in the sand tho

It was too cold

Well the sun did shine, but we didn’t hav towels so we culdnt get wet

But we did hav a picnic on the beech

Dat was fun

Yu lik picnics? Wats yur fave picnic food?

We had corned beef samwiches with hot sauce on them

And a bag of skips

And fruit and a drink

Mom brot a flask of tea

It was cool to drink tea I like tea

We saw a cave! That was cool!

😃

We wen in ther

😃

We weren’t even afraid!

I bet yu all wuld hav be proud of me!

I waned to collect shells

But nobody wuld help me do it

I did had a fun day tho it was jus so cool to go to the beech

I lik weekends wher we do things

I fink that’s so fun

Darina

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#SoCs reservation

I have reservations about therapy this week. I feel it will be a hard session. I’m not prepared.

I try to prepare myself for what may come up. Its been so hard lately.

So many new insiders are coming forward, insiders that have been further back and inside for years.

that’s ok, its good, but its hard.

there is a lot of internal chaos. the system is struggling to stay afloat.

we struggle a lot, but its much harder to hide it now. and I do have to hide it from some people. I cant act unstable with some family members, or friends.

i’m giving it over to Eileen. she will know how to help. I am trusting her to know how fast to go. I am trusting her with all this.

she has proven over and over that she is experienced and knows what to do how to guide us how to help us.

so I know I need to let her do her job, doesn’t stop me from worrying and becoming anxious though.

anxietys a killer. I feel it every single day. I hate having so much anxiety. I feel I am unable to cope with the level of anxiety I have.

just thinking about all this right now. but I need to sleep or try to. so I will get off line and shut down my pc for the night.

goodnight, world!

 

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 16/18

no sleep tonight

I cant sleep. I did manage about 2 hours. But that was it then. I woke at 1 AM and there is no sign of me going back to sleep.

I was having trouble with my computer, it was taking ages to update windows, then when it finally did it uninstalled my mail programme. Luckily I was able to reinstall it though, thank god! So all is good there now again!

Im debating whether I will read for a while. I want to finish my book, but then im not really in the mood for reading, so maybe i’ll just wait until tomorrow.

I’ll be having dinner at my parents tomorrow, it will be just me and my parents, I gave my dad his fathers day card lready tonight, we’re not going to do anything special for fathers day this year.

Mom said she’d come with me when i go home, to help me bring my shopping home, she ended up going grocery shopping for me this week and she kept my food in her fridge until I was going home. She’ll probably stay for a couple hours when we go to my house. I told her i’d give her the price of a taxi home as she doesn’t drive.

I also want to face time my friend sarah tomorrow. Sarah lives in collorado. She has been my friend now for about 4 years. We met on a mailing list for people who are blind and who have mental illness. She has did like me.

Anyway. I’m rambling. I will close this post for now. I hope your all ok and doing as well as you can.

Carol anne

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