3500 followers

I reach 3500 followers. I can’t believe that. What an achievement. I’m so thrilled.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support. It means the world to me.

Blocking has meant so much to me. I’ve made so many wonderful friends and this community is absolutely outstanding, it’s absolutely brilliant I love the people in this community.

Thank you everyone for the continued support here’s to another 3500 followers.

💗

Death of my cousin

I just found out, my cousin, Alison, she’s 50, and lives in england, and last october she was diagnosed with liver cancer and she just passed away tonight.
I am devastated. She was an incredible person. A kind, caring lovely and wonderful person.
she had had an operation to remove the tumour on her liver, but then she found out after having the surgery that she was terminal, she died in her daughters house, at 8 PM tonight.
Her daughter, jade is 30, and her son jordan, he’s in prison, so he never got to say goodbye. Its so sad for him.
She had two grandkids, both under 7.
I am just devastated for the family. i cant believe it has happened. You really just never know from one day to the next do you? Her mom and dad are both still alive, both of them are in their 70’s.
Life is so cruel. And it can change in an instant.
Please keep them in your thoughts. I will probably be going to the funeral, but that wont be happening for a couple weeks I’d say.
We’ll have to travel to england for it. My mom and sister and me will all probably go.
Heartbroken tonight at hearing this news.
carol anne

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Arrived

We just arrived at our apartment in Killarney. It’s really lovely. We are just settling in now. Later we are going in to town to do a bit of shopping and have food. The weather is even cooperating. It’s 14 degrees c here now. We are here until Sunday. Tomorrow it’s Lauren’s birthday. We might go billing tomorrow if we have time. I’ll post more later tonight.

Seldomly, I cry

Seldomly she said
Seldomly I cry
Why?
Because, because
Crying shows how weak I am
Never!
Crying is theraputic
It is a release
could she?
Would she?
Was crying really ok?
Her friend motioned to her
Just let it go
Dont worry!
Fear not!
Crying, everyone should do it!
Its healing!
She sat staring into her coffee mug
Wondering, pondering
Was this really true?
Should she just let go?
It was seldomly that she did
She never wanted to be percieved as weak
but maybe, maybe
she could now, just this once!

I wrote this poem in relationship to how I feel at the moment. I am feeling as if I shouldnt be so weak, I shouldnt cry, I shouldnt let my guard down. I suppose its ok though, right? Its ok not to be ok?
carol anne

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/02/21/seldomly/

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Anxiety, anxiety!

I woke up anxious! God I feel awful! I feel so agitated!
I cant put my finger on why though!
Ug this bloody sucks!
I am going away for the weekend today. In about 3 hours. I want to feel ok for it! I hate that I am so anxious!
My head is pounding. My heart is thumping. My arms are heavy. My breathing hurts. Its shallow and hard to just breathe.
We dreamed weird things last night. I dont actually remember them now but I do remember they were weird. I wish I could remember the dreams. I guess at least they werent nightmares. Thats something at least.
Dinner last night was really good. There were about 25 of us altogether. The food was so good. We had a really great time.
I had italian style meatballs for my main. And buffalo chicken wings for a starter. It was yummy.
I came home and I went to bed to read. I started a new book. The new cathy glass book, finding stevie, I am loving it. Its so good. Its about a boy whose gender fluid and who comes to cathy as a foster placement. Its about his struggles. And what happens to him.
I just wish I could make the anxiety go away. Maybe I’ll go talk to mom. Maybe having a conversation with someone will distract me from it. I hope so. I think I’ll also start thinking about all the fun we’ll have this weekend.
We’re staying in an apartment, there is me, mom, my sis, my sis’s 2 kids, and their cousin and her mom. So it should be fun. I will be updating over the weekend. And posting photos and maybe even some video too.
Its my nieces birthday tomorrow. We’re going shopping for the day. And then at night we’re going for a meal. I am looking forward to all that. I am planning on buying some new clothes.
Well I’m going to go now. If anyone has any advice for me I’d appreciate it. Thanks guys!

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Going out to dinner

I feel much better today, don’t feel sick any more. Thank god!

I am going out to dinner tonight. I am going out with a few friends from the basement club. We also invited the old staff members, the 3 old staff members are coming with us. It should be a fun night.

We’re going to a nice hotel, we’ll be eating in the restaurant in the hotel.

I hope they’ll have nice things on the menu. I’ll probably get a starter and main course. I asked my friend Denise to meet me there at six PM.

I will have an enjoyable night I am sure. 😀 ❤