Remember I did a presentation a few weeks ago on schizophrenia for college? Well my results are in. I got 75 percent. That’s a fantastic result. Anything over 70 is a first class honour. I am ecstatic. Thrills to bits. I cant believe I got such a great result. The feedback I got was awesome too. Not many people in the class got a very high mark, so I am so happy that I did. I must have made an impression. I know a lot of the class liked the way I presented. They all said I was good and had a good speaking voice and presented the topic clearly and simply. I’m absolutely delighted with the two grades I’ve gotten yesterday and today. That’s is two parts of my module completed now. I got a 60 on my article review and a 75 on my presentation. One more to go and I will hand that in next week, I wont have the result for a few weeks though after I hand in the journal of learning. Once I get my result the 3 parts of the module will be put together and then an overalll grade will be given. Anyway. Just so happy right now. It’s a real confidence boost.
me gots to tok to eileen in therapy yeserday
it was nice
i like it wen i get to com e out to talk
it is hard somtims but not all the time
yeserday i camed out cuz i got skard
i was feling unsafe
we was workin wif ar body
that maked me feel unsafe
so i came out then
eileen came and sat next to me
and then her ask if she can hold me
i said ok cuz i like it when she holds me
so she came and sat and put her hands around my back and shoulders
it felt so nice
she makes me fel safe
she held me tight like that for a long time
we toked and she held me
it felt so so good
we talked about memories
and we talked about tv shows
i tol her i dont lik it when the grown ups wach law and order SVU
it makes me remeber bad things
she said shed tok to them bout it
and she promised me i dont gots to wach it if i dont wanna
that i can go away inside when the grown ups do that
so i will
i dont like that show
it has scary thing on it
bad things hapen to peple on it
i think eileen did talk to carol anne later on about it
eileen says i get trigered by that show
i gess so i dont know
but that mosly wat we tok bout
that and memories of dublin
and eileen ask me what i notice bout her office
what do i notise wen i come in there
it was good therapy time
i liked having time to tok to her
I am feeling very alone tonight. Its 1:30 AM. I cant sleep. I am alone here in the house as I live on my own. I wish someone was here to talk to. I feel lonely and overwhelmed and so very alone.
I have the radio on for company. I was cold so I put on my heating. I made a coffee as I am not going to sleep. I tried reading, it didnt help. I tried settling down after reading, I couldnt. I just feel wired.
This sucks. If anyone is around, send me a hug or some support please.
I could really use it.
I love the shower. It is so healing to me. I just had a nice long hot shower, and now I feel so fresh, clean, and I am feeling more able to cope with things.
Do you like the shower? I love letting the warm water flow over me. It just feels so good, so, so healing. I love thinking about all of my worries being washed away. Eileen told me to have my shower before bed, so that is what I did tonight. I am planning on laying down in a little while and trying to rest, maybe read, but resting even if I am not sleeping.
I took my night meds, I didnt forget about them. I put a reminder in my phone. it seemed to work thankfully. Now I’ve taken them and dont have to worry about it again until tomorrow morning.
Its 10 Pm now. I have done all of my self care things. After my shower I clensed and moisturized my face, I need to take better care of my skin, so I am trying to do that twice a day now. I have been saying I will for a while now, but I never got around to it. So now is my time. My face feels so soft now. It feels good: 😀
Well I am going to get off of here and go read. See if I can get through another few chapters of my book. I might be back later on. Or I might not. Who knows.
What is one thing you can improve in your day that will improve your mental health?
Definitely my sleep! I need to improve on that!
Meds are helping, but I need to be getting more sleep than I have been getting!
I am going to try to work on it over the summer!
I think 7 or 8 hours each night would be good! I doubt I’ll get that much every night, but a girl can dream, right?
I am really going to try to work on a bedtime routine, on windingdown at night, before bed.
Heres hoping it works out for me!
I will try my best anyway!
Sleep is so important for a healthy mind, and a healthy life!
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I am not doing good tonight. I feel really low. I feel awful and just want to crumble.
I’ve been super down all evening. I am about to take my night meds. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. I am taking naps when I can as its the only sleep I get. I forgot to bring my Haldol to my parents house so I don’t even have that to fall back on to help me sleep.
I am a mess. I feel like crying. I feel like it but the tears wont come. I just am beginning to feel numb. Dissociated. Numbness and dissociation really suck.
If anyones around could use an ear or a friend to talk to.
Some affirmations on this sunday! ❤ check them out! ❤