I skard? someone help?

it taylor. i skard. i no lik dis nite. i bes havin bad memrees. it no fun! i so fraid. i want a hug! i need eileen! i need sumone! i need dis nite to end! i jus ned a hug and sumeone ta tel me i gona bes ok!
it bes windy oteside! i skard of the blowin winds!
is der sumeone around ta tok to?

Zero to switchy in 60 seconds, thats me!

I’m a switchy mess right now! I went from being nice and calm a few mins ago, to being a crying anxious mess!
Zero to 50 alters in sixty seconds, thats us!
Ok I’m slightly exagerating, but really? We’re rapidly switching and we call it roladexing when more than one of us is out in a short amount of time.
Its super frustrating. I can barely keep up. There are kids screaming for attention, teens wanting to come out and do their own thing, and then there are the rest of us adults, who are trying to simmer things down and curb the anxiety.
Its not working very well as you can see from the scattered post!
I need a shirt that says, zero to 40 in seconds, thats did!


Lazy Thursday

Well todays been a lazy day. I layed in bed until 11 AM this morning. I did get up at 7:30 to see to Nitro, feed him, let him out but then I went right back to bed. I even slept which was cool. When I woke up I didnt do much, I’ve been on the computer, watching tv, listening to the radio, reading my book. My friend came over this afternoon, she wanted me to see if I could fix her phone. I wasnt able to though. She did get it sorted in the end which was good. I hate when I cant do something, and I tried for ages to see if I could get her phone to work. After she left, I cooked dinner, and then I relaxed for the rest of the afternoon. I was going to facetime Sarah but she was too tired, so we might facetime later. I’m a bit anxious right now, I think its lingering anxiety from Lisa, and Emily. I am so glad they both spoke to Eileen earlier. That was really good and it helped them a lot. The anxiety is much less now than it was earlier, but its still there. I’m probably not going to sleep very well tonight. We’ll see but right now it doesnt look likely. It was so good of Eileen to get back to us. We can always count on her. So grateful for that. Good therapists are so hard to come by these days, I’m so glad we’ve got an awesome one.

Eileen got back to us

its lisa, one of emilys dark insiders. I am 17 years old.
eileen just got back to us. she was driving but she called us while she was in the car. emily answered, but then I came out and we chatted for a while.
i told her that I dont like christmas. she encouraged me to try some christmas activities, and she said she is giving me permission to do that. I felt better knowing she was giving me permission. We talked about the past a little bit, and we decided to contain the memories and put them in a mobile home and park it outside eileens office.
now I am feeling much, much better after our chat. I feel less upset and more able to breathe again.
The anxiety is gone. Just touching base with eileen really helped me a lot. It has helped all of us actually. I think I’ll go talk to jade now and let Carol anne or liz out…actually I think Liz wants to make a coffee so she’ll probably do that.
And I’ll try to enjoy some of the christmas stuff we’ve got planned for the weekend. I’m sure I can do it.

Dont know what to do

im so sad. i been feeling sad all day. i been anxious too. dont know whether to call eileen or not. want to but dont know if I should.
just dont know what to do.
maybe will go make some christmas cards and watch something on tv.
distract myself hopefully that will work.
if not i’ll text eileen. she’s probably busy though and I shouldnt bother her.
butterfly hugs
loves you
Em age 12

Relaxing in the bubbles!

in the bath
bubbles everywhere
sinking into this feeling
of pure bliss
soft bubbles
warm water
envelopes me
taking all my troubles
the anxiety disapates
its no longer there
all because
I got into
A nice, hot bubble bath