Poetry

My heart beats fast
I am sucked into the past
I kick, I scream
To no avail
I cant get away from it
I just have to sit with it
It threatens to pull me under
I fight to get back on even ground again
I count to 10
As i exhale
Breathe, I tell myself
Constantly reminding myself its over
I’m not back there
I’m here
Here in my house
with my dog
My stuff all around me
I am free
In the free world
and its 2017

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Succumb to my emotions

I succumb to my emotions
and now I feel weak
Stupid even
How come I keep doing this?
What is wrong with me?
pain, hurt, sadness
Its all there
All encompassing
I succumb to it
Even though I try not to
Now its time
To make some tea
And breathe into the emotion
To just be
Be free to be me

Succumb

Big feelings

I am cloaked in pain
sadness
swamped and sinking
under its heavy weight
it feels insurmountable
like i’ll never recover
why does it have to feel this way?
so big, so painful
feeling so alone
I start to panic
can I do this?
Will I survive?
Or will the pain win?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/cloaked/

Change

i cant quite believe next week will be my last week with my current pa kristen. we’ve worked together for a year and a half.
it will be sad to lose her. she is a really nice person. i’m nervous about who will replace her, will i like them, etc.
we shall see i guess. only time will tell.
change is hard. i dont much like it.
oh well, i will just enjoy the last couple of days with kristen. we’re still gonna keep in touch on facebook, and we’ll still meet up for coffee and stuff like that.