Trepidation

With shaking hands
and a pounding heart
I link your arm
you guide me in to your office
we sit down
and start to talk
I’ve never met you before
but you tell me there is no pressure to talk to you
that I should only
tell you what I feel comfortable to talk about
you are honest with me
telling me you don’t know much about did
I appreciate the honesty
it helps me feel safe
I begin to open up
Trusting that you can help
You will know what to do
With much trepidation
I tentatively start to talk
And before I know it
I’ve said so much
But your so easy to talk to
One day
You’ll make a fine doctor
You have what it takes
Thank you for making me
Feel so comforted and at ease today

Self care, its important…

Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it’s essential to take time off to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.
Douglas Pagels

The meds made me sleepy!

Last night, I took 25 mg of fenergan, 2 mg of clonadine, and my regular night meds, before bed.
I wanted to watch operation transformation, which was on at 9:35. I started to watch it, but 10 mins in I fell into a deep sleep.
The meds made me so so sleepy!
I woke when it was over! And I went straight to bed then.
I slept all night! I woke up at 2:30 but I wasnt able to stay awake, so I went back to sleep again.
I woke again at 6:30, feeling so out of it!
I dont think I’m going to take the fenergan again, unless its absolutely necessary. I hate how it makes me feel.
Now, I’ve had a couple cups of coffee, so that grogginess has passed.
thank god!

From Emily, anxiety again

Hihihii guys
I’m so anxious. I cant breathe good. My chest hurts. My heart is pounding. I got really triggered. I was having flashbacks, which triggered me to have a panic attack.

I’m so scared. I dont know what to do. Its hard to breathe, I’m also shaking a lot.

Is anyone around to talk? If you are able to write me that will be good. I might feel better if I chat to someone, it might take my mind off the memories.

Right now I am just feeling so anxious. Its 1 AM now. I’m going to make some tea. Because, tea makes everything better.
Butterfly hugs,
Loves you,
Emily, age 12

God anxietys back

its 4:13 and I cant sleep. I went to bed just after midnight, but I woke up again at 2:30. I’ve been awake since then.

I’m going crazy. I am super anxious. Not sure what is causing it. Other than not going to therapy this morning, that is probably causing some of it, with kids inside feeling sad that we’re not going to see Eileen today.

I’ve made a cup of tea. I hope it helps.

BAD WEATHER. WE’RE NOT GOING TO THERAPY…

WE ARENT GOING TO THERAPY TODAY. THERE IS A STORM COMING, AND WE’RE UNDER A WEATHER WARNING FROM 7 AM TODAY UNTIL LATE TONIGHT. SO WE DECIDED TO STAY HOME, ITS PROBABLY BEST THAT WE DO, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE WINDS ARE MEANT TO BE HIGH, 130 KM PER HOUR AND THE RAIN IS MEANT TO BE VERY HEAVY ALSO. I TEXTED EILEEN, TOLD HER I WASNT ABLE TO MAKE IT INTO OUR SESSION, SHE WAS TOTALLY FINE WITH IT. WE ASKED HER IF SHE COULD POSSIBLY DO ANOTHER DAY NEXT WEEK INSTEAD OF MONDAY, AS WE’RE SEEING DR. BARRY ON MONDAY, AND SHE OFFERED US TUESDAY AT 4:30. SO WE TOOK IT. SO WILL SEE HER THEN, SAD WE DONT GET TO SEE HER TODAY BUT NEED TO STAY SAFE, NEED TO STAY INDOORS…WE CAN EMAIL HER IF WE NEED TO…THAT WILL HAVE TO BE ENOUGH…
LIZ