Anniversaries and family time

this weekend is kinda hard. its both of my grammas death anniversaries. my nana catherine who is my moms mom will be dead 23 years tomorrow Sunday. Then my nana bridget who is my dads mom will be dead 32 years on Monday.
Today Saturday, we are going to visit my nana Catherines grave, me, my mom, and my two aunts. The weather is not very good at the moment here, its rainy, and windy, but we’re still going to go anyway. Then afterwords we are going to have lunch somewhere and then my mom and aunts are going to have some drinks, i’m dieting so wont be drinking any alcohol.
I dont remember a lot about nana bridget, because I was only 5 when she died. She died by suicide though. My nana Catherine got breast cancer, she died when I was 14. I was very close to her. We used to sit and watch old movies together on the weekends when I’d be home from Dublin. She adored me and i adored her. I still miss her every day.

Our youtube channel please subscribe and please reblog this!

so I thought i’d share our youtube channel with all of you. I haven’t made any videos in a little while. but I will again after the weekend!
Please reblog this and please subscribe for blogs, and other random videos.
Idont always place the camera right due to being blind, so in case you are wondering why our videos don’t turn out sometimes, that’s why.

so here it is, please like comment or subscribe!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7T3HmK3FJXcvDP6SDXOQyQ

A shout out to my irish readers, who are you? come on tell me!

i’m a nosey bitch, lol. but i’m so curious.

my blog is getting some views from ireland. and i want to know who is viewing that lives in ireland because lol its where I am!

so please, you kind souls, tell me who you are in the comments, or i’ll have to send the fierce kick ass liz after you and ya’ll dont want that now lol!

if your a junior doctor on dr. barrys team, or anyone from the mental health department, even better, because it means my words are making a difference!

so come on ya’ll come on i’m pleading tell me 🙂

carol anne

book review-taken by rosie lewis

just finished another fabulous foster care memoir written by UK foster carer rosie lewis. the book tells megans story. megan was born to a drug dependent mother and she was born with a kleft palet. she was placed with rosie on a temporary basis until a permanent family could be found for her. little did rosie know when she took on megan the twists and turns that lay in store for both of them. as i said she was born with a kleft palet and found it very difficult to feed, had bad reflux and was generally a baby that got sick a lot. from the start rosie was determined to give her as much love and care as she possibly could. foster carers arent meant to get too attached to the children they look after, especially because they will most likely be moving on to permanency or long term placements, but rosie couldnt help falling in love with megan, as did her family. her birth mother christina kept going in and out of rehab, but there really was no chance that the social services would give megan back to her, it was too late. during megans early months she had twice weekly contact with her but more often than not she wouldnt show up for it. megans father couldnt be traced, but later in the story he was traced and it turns out he was living in italy. megans first social worker peggy was a very blunt woman, who spoke her mind. after a few months of rosie caring for megan, peggie asked her one day if she’d even thought of putting herself forward to adopt her. rosie was stunned, she’d never even considered it. could she? would she? she talked to her kids and they were all really happy and excited. so she decided to apply to try to keep megan. however the social worker on the adoption team didnt want her to have her at first, saying that it wasnt in megans best interests to be adopted by her foster carer. she came to visit rosie at home and criticised everything, and by then peggie was off megans case and hazel a new social worker had taken over. rosie was sure it was going to be bad news, and her suitability would be declined. but hazel told her that veronica, the adoption team leader had liked her and that it might look good for her after all. a couple of weeks later she got the letter, and it was good news, her application had been approved. however a few days later more bad news, because christina megans birth mother had visited megan in rosie’s house, it was felt that her safety was in jepordy. rosie was heartbroken. by this time she had cared for megan for over 2 years. the bond was strong and strengthening more and more with each passing day. the thought that she might have to let her go was too much for her. meanwhile veronica had found a family she thought might be suitable. a very wealthy and affluent couple. and so it was that rosie withdrew her application. and the hand over commenced. eventually rosie had to say goodbye to megan for good, which devastated her. however the placement did not go well. the couple could not cope and the placement broke down. rosie automatically thought they would place megan back with her again. but the local authority did not want to spend the money hiring an agency foster carer, they wanted to use one of their own inhouse carers. however rosie fought to get megan back. and finally she managed it. and a couple of months later, she adopted her. megans story had a happy ending. but it could have gone so horribly wrong. i felt this book really showed the pitfalls of the adoption process. how the matching process can go so horribly wrong. i feel this book is a good read for anyone studying social work, or wanting to adopt a child. it gives a raw and honest account of the ups and downs a carer faces when trying to adopt the child they are caring for. it was a great read.

Eileens reply to allie and then liz’s reply back to Eileen

so eileen sent allie a reply just now.

Hi Allie
I heard that you are scared, it’s ok you don’t need to be. I know you sent an email last week. I’m not sure if you heard or not, but I did mention last Monday that I had received it and was sorry that I hadn’t answered it.
I can imagine it must have been hard for you when I didn’t.
I need you to know that even if I don’t answer that I will check in with you and speak to you the following session. It was my fault as I had answered some emails from insiders, and of course then you expected me to answer too. I should have stuck to my original agreement to not answer any emails, but to discuss in the next session. That made it confusing for you, and I get that now.
Take care and talk to you Monday
Eileen

and then i sent eileen a reply saying

I AM SORRY EILEEN I SHOULDNT HAVE SENT THAT ANGRY EMAIL TO YOU I TALKED TO MY FRIEND ABOUT IT AND SHE SAID YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOU HAVE OTHER THINGS GOING ON AND I KNOW THAT AND YOU ARE ALWAYS ALWAYS CONSISTENT AND YOU SHOW THAT TO US ALL THE TIME AND ONE REPLY OUT OF HUNDREDS OF EMAILS AND RESPONSES TO THEM IS REALLY NOT SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD BE ANGRY AT YOU ABOUT
THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR US AND YOU HAVE NOT LEFT OR ABANDONED US HEAVEN KNOWS WHY BUT YOU HAVENT AND I AM REALLY GRATEFUL OF THAT FACT
SO I AM SORRY FOR BEING A BITCH TO YOU

LIZ

allie, this is an email i just sent to my therapist eileen

i just writed eileen this email. i have scared feelins in my tummy. im scared what if shes mad cuz liz got angry at her. what if shes upset. so i wanted ta make things better. here is what i writed.

i am scared cuz liz sended you that angry email
i’m not angry ok?
promise, its ok i know you have things to do and you gotta teach at college and ya cant jus alwas reply to my emails
she was bein protectiv of me but i tol her she dint need ta be
i am 9 and i didnt even cry and im not mad and im not a baby
i can jus talk to you on monday cuz i have a card for you anyways and i cant wait ta giv it ta ya
i hope ya hav a nice weekend
allie