I could use a friend, and a little bit of support.
I feel like crap. I am not ok. Negative thoughts are running rampant in my head.
Its not good. All the whatifs keep running around ug sigh!
I am not having a good evening!
I feel so depressed. Last night one of our kids, lexi, was feeling like self harming. She didn’t, thank god! But she was struggling so much and she ended up emailing Eileen.
I think this depression is partly down to the time of year.
I felt ok at work earlier, don’t know why it changed! All I can think is how absolutely shit this feeling is.
If anyone is around please can you send me a bit of encouragement! I could use it!
The lovely bee over at the bee writes, has challenged us to come up with a poem for the prompt, black dog.
Heres my attempt.
thoughts they linger
will they ever subside
the black dog
he comes out
shows his ugly face
spews his ugly venum
and on days when that happens
All I want to do
Is curl up into a tiny ball
Go away, black dog, go away!
I feel sort of depressed. I felt it coming on just a few mins ago. My mood dipped all of a sudden. Just out of the blue.
No warning, just down I went. Sigh.
My chest feels tight, I want to curl up and hide. I’m going to take a nice bubble bath. I am hopeful that will help. I also made tea. Tea is my go to thing when I am feeling low.
Maybe its tiredness. I just feel like crap.
I hope it wont last all evening. Its Friday, I should be happy about that.
has set in. I just feel so defeated.
I really cant deal. I am so overwhelmed. I really cant wait until tomorrow to see dr. barry. I need the apt. I need to talk this out. If I can, that is.
I am also seeing my OT mark tomorrow morning. I used to see him once a month. but since I started the ILS course we don’t see each other much. But he’s always only a phone call away.
Tomorrow will be our first apt in a while. Its just a general catch up.
I just feel so blah tonight. Everything feels like its going in slow motion. I feel very sluggish and slowed down. I don’t feel like doing anything. I need to shower for tomorrow. I put the hot water on but I don’t feel like getting in the shower. I just want to curl up and hide.
I will shower later on because I know its the right things to do so I don’t smell bad. I don’t want to go to see dr. barry and smell bad and look dirty because I didn’t shower.
I’m just on a bit of a downward spiral. And I cant seem to pull myself out of it.
so much for having a week off. If I knew it was going to be this bad I wouldn’t have wanted a week off. I hate when my mood is so bad. It is just so all consuming.
I decided on Thursday I will go to the basement club. I haven gone there since I started on the ILS course. They will think I don’t want to come in any more. Truth is though I haven’t had time. I haven’t had any time off to just go there and call in to see everyone. I am looking forward to doing tha tthis Thursday and possibly Friday too.
A huffington post article I found to be interesting so thought I’d share it here to see what others thought of it?