Tag: Depression

Sleepless night and plans for today!

well I had very little sleep. Went to bed around 1 AM. Couldnt settle. Eventually I did and I got around 4 hours of sleep total. Feel quite tired this morning. But I am up and awake and have had a couple mugs of coffee to get me up and going!
Just getting ready for therapy now. Booked my taxi. Finally got myself dressed too. Have an hour and a half before I have to leave! So plenty of time!
Am going to cancel my after care with nitro tomorrow. My week is just super busy! I can do it after the christmas rush is over! There is no hurry. I’m sure the guide dog school will be fine with me canceling it.
Other than therapy I have to go to my gp today. I have to get a medical done. You know a medical after the car crash, the solicitor is requesting that we all have medicals done so she can get reports on our injuries. So I have to go there at 3 today.
I plan on walking to the surgery, to get my exercise in! Thats if its not raining!
I hope you all have a fab Monday!

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todays the day I start college!

So todays the day!I start college this morning!
I am so excited! Its 6:30 now. I start at 10 AM.
I slept really good last night which I am delighted about. Means I’ll be able to concentrate really good today!
I am so looking forward to this new venture! I am so excited about getting back into learning again! I love learning!
I plan on having a terrific day!
Wish me luck!
❤

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One of my clients is dead

I found out today that one of the friendly call clients I call each week killed himself. I’d spoken to this man on numerous occasions. He was in his fifties. He had a severe mental illness. My supervisor told me he did it last week. We were the last people he spoke to, friendly call was the last contact he had with anyone before he did it.

I was floored. Its the first time something like this has happened to me while I’ve been a volunteer. I just cant believe it. It really brings it home to me how precious life is. And how you just never know how things can happen on a spur of a moment.

I hope he’s at peace now. I am glad he had us I am glad we were able to maybe bring him some happy times. The fact that we spoke to him daily. The fact he had someone on the end of the phone to talk to. He was very isolated, he lived in a rural area. And he was so lonely.

Loneliness kills. It really does.

Its going to take me some time to process this. I still feel kinda numb. Maybe because I’ve also come close to ending it. Maybe because I know his pain. I know how he must have felt when he made his decision. I just wish he’d have told us how he was feeling.

Its a sad day for me today. I’ll send prayers up to the universe and hopefully he’s at peace now.

I think its gonna be one of those sleepless nights

But its my own fault. I napped earlier for hours. Im not sure how long for exactly, maybe 3 or four hours in total though.
I doubt I get much sleep tonight. Its now almost 10 PM. I’m wide awake. I think Im in for a long one tonight. A long night where I am wide awake and just thinking. Ug.
Oh well. I have the radio and the tv for company. And there’s always my book if I feel like concentrating on it. For now though I am going to read blogs and email. Try to catch up as I am way behind.
At least I dont have too much to do tomorrow. Besides volunteering I have nothing else on. So if all comes to all and I dont sleep until the early morning hours, then thats ok as I can rest until late morning tomorrow.
carol anne

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Waiting to go into therapy

I’m sitting here in my therapists office. 10 minutes before therapy starts. I’m a little bit anxious. Trying to keep my hands busy buy playing on my phone.

Don’t really know why I feel anxious. Just woke up feeling like this today. Didn’t sleep great actually last night. It was 2 AM before I went to bed.

Hopefully therapy will help. Hopefully it will be a good session.

😊

Hurricane diana!

There is a bad storm outside this morning. It started last night. High wind, rain, and the wind was really whipping up outside, howling very loudly. I wasnt able to sleep with the noise. I am very tired this morning. But I need to go see dr. barry and go get my shot also.
I dont really want to go out in it. But I have no choice. I hope I’ll be ok and manage ok in the bad weather.
I’m going to mom and dads today after I see dr. barry. I got invited to a lunch with the staff of friendly call today too. They are being audited and there is a lunch and they invited me to it. So I will be going to that today but other than that I wont be doing much else today.
The weather warning is in effect until noon. Its pretty bad out there right now.

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