so i’ve emailed the people who provide my PA service this morning. I was clear in the email about what I need in a PA going forward.
The person in the office said they’d try their best to get me someone that will suit my needs. Kristen finishes with me on Thursday. I dont want to be without a PA but I fear I may be without someone for a couple of weeks.
I told the office I need someone who can provide a driving service if that is possible. Otherwise it will get expensive paying for taxi’s to and from the grocery store. Yes we pay the PA for gas but what we pay the PA is minimal compared to the expense of getting a taxi.
So we shall see. Only time will tell if I get someone who drives or not.
I really am hoping for a good match. Who I get is important to me. Its important I can relate to them and I am able to get along with them. Their personality traits are important to me.
so i found out that the college i go to is closed today. so i have no classes tonight. so that gives me time to get caught up on my reflective learning journal, of which i have two weeks to catch up on, but am i doing that? noooo, of course I’m not. I’m procrastinating.
Kristen came this morning…it was her second last day of working with us. She did some cleaning, went to starbux for us, and helped us make breakfast. we got a pumpkin spice latte in starbux. it was delicious, my first one of the season.
i decided to go stay with mom and dad tonight and tomorrow night. i’m going to see dr. barry tomorrow morning, and then in the afternoon I’m going to a conference on mental health, run by the counselling service at the basement club. my friend norma is coming with me. it should be good. the theme of it is mind your mind.
i read this morning on facebook that another storm is set to hit us at the weekend. not as bad as ophelia but still bad enough with high winds and lots of rain. thats all we need…
I succumb to my emotions
and now I feel weak
How come I keep doing this?
What is wrong with me?
pain, hurt, sadness
Its all there
I succumb to it
Even though I try not to
Now its time
To make some tea
And breathe into the emotion
To just be
Be free to be me
I am cloaked in pain
swamped and sinking
under its heavy weight
it feels insurmountable
like i’ll never recover
why does it have to feel this way?
so big, so painful
feeling so alone
I start to panic
can I do this?
Will I survive?
Or will the pain win?
i’m struggling this morning. I haven’t slept. I couldn’t. I was having flashbacks. the system was in distress. things were chaotic. we were remembering awful things. I cant even write the words, I don’t even know if I can find the words when I go to Eileen in 90 mins. i’ll try I guess. its so hard sometimes. my words get lost. flaot away. its such a struggle to talk. open up and talk. I want to but I cant. ug I hate it. I am just feeling a little bit unsettled this morning. I have showered, that helped a little. I’m going to call my mom soon. just to hear another voice. I feel like I am the only person in the world awake. even tho its 8 am. thank you all for all your kind comments tonight. they have really helped me more than yall know.
i’ve had a good day today. i woke up early despite having not gotten very much sleep. i got up at 8, washed my hair, had breakfast, and then left to go to the basement club at 9:30.
i was volunteering there this morning. it turned out there were 3 of us volunteering, when really there should have only been myself and denise. it didnt matter though because there was a lot to get through so 3 of us were needed to do all of the work.
i volunteered from 11:30 until 12:30.
it was a members birthday today and we had a birthday cake, which was yummy. whenever it is one of the members birthday there is usually cake.
then i got a nice surprise, because my old OT from 10 years ago came in. it was nice to see her and catch up. she had brought a new member in for a look around.
the centre closed early today, it closed at 1:30. some of the members went for coffee afterwords but I didnt go. tomorrow is the food harvest festival and I’ll be helping out at that. I’ll be doing the information stand.
I bought a new book today. Its the new casey watson book called groomed. I plan on reading it over the weekend.
I enjoyed a delicious chicken curry for dinner that my dad made. I also had nan bread. I was starving when I got home from the basement club so I ate a lot, but I didnt have any lemon drizzle cake after dinner because I’d already eaten cake this morning.
I am taking a break from seeing Karen O my nutritionist. I am disillusioned because I am not losing the weight, and so I decided to just take some time out and will come back to it in a couple of weeks.
so I’m wondering…
How would you define addiction?
I mean if you had to come up with your own definition of it.
This is a question we were asked last night during class.
I am curious as to what peoples answers are on it.