I got up early I was up with the birds! I feel great this morning! My mood has improved drastically which I am so glad about!
I had a healthy breakfast, washed my hair, got dressed and am ready to smash today!
The sun is shining and its a beautiful day! Although rain is in the forecast for later!
I'm heading to my friend normas house this afternoon! First though its time to tackle my journal of learning!
I'm not really in the mood to tackle it but I will, because its due on Friday and I want it over with before tomorrow!
So hoping I get a good grade on it!
Nitro is full of beans this morning! He also slept well!
I read for about 2 hours last night, I read 4 chapters of my book pimped by Samantha owens.
I'm actually reading two books at the moment, pimped, and tiny prisoners, by Maggie Hartley, I'm part way through both!
Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely Saturday!
I feel so shitty right now. My mood is very bla. I feel very down. I am depressed. I just feel so awful. Its not cool. I am so done with this shit. I want to feel good!
I had a bath to see if that would help. It sorta did. I still feel crappy, though.
At least I am drinking a lot of water, and eating a lot of fruit, so I am being healthy atleast which feels good.
At least I am taking care of my body! Although I did have a very unhealthy lunch today, but I am pulling back now and being more mindful of what I put in my face.
I just wish this low mood would go away! I hate it!
At least I am remembering to take my meds!
I have remembered all week, win win to me!
I am trying my hardest, that will have to be enough! I cant do any more than that!
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What are your top three intentions for each day and how can you meet them?
Eat healthy and exercise on most days!
Do some self care every day!
Journal! Writing is sootheing to me!
What are yours?
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I am seeing my mentor this morning. Its good to have that extra bit of support. I am not sure what our apt will be about yet. What we’ll discuss during it I mean. I am just going to go in with no agenda and see what happens.
I really like my mentor. She’s really nice. She’s very open about her own struggles with mental illness too which is nice as it means I can relate to her better. I am glad she’s not afraid to talk to me about her own history. That allows us to bond more I think.
I hope our apt today is good but I am pretty sure it will be.
so its midnight and i am up wide awake and unable to sleep. its so frustrating. i cant settle. i am anxious and feeling like my skin is crawling. i hate this. it feels horrible. i tried a few things, tried reading, tried a cup of herbal tea, tried a shower, still nothing. i dont know what I’ll do. I am just not sleeping at all. If this keeps up I will go downhill fast. Really fast. My mental health is already compramised and if I dont sleep it will only get worse.
Remember I did a presentation a few weeks ago on schizophrenia for college? Well my results are in. I got 75 percent. That’s a fantastic result. Anything over 70 is a first class honour. I am ecstatic. Thrills to bits. I cant believe I got such a great result. The feedback I got was awesome too. Not many people in the class got a very high mark, so I am so happy that I did. I must have made an impression. I know a lot of the class liked the way I presented. They all said I was good and had a good speaking voice and presented the topic clearly and simply. I’m absolutely delighted with the two grades I’ve gotten yesterday and today. That’s is two parts of my module completed now. I got a 60 on my article review and a 75 on my presentation. One more to go and I will hand that in next week, I wont have the result for a few weeks though after I hand in the journal of learning. Once I get my result the 3 parts of the module will be put together and then an overalll grade will be given. Anyway. Just so happy right now. It’s a real confidence boost.
So I’ve been thinking. You remember I said I had an opportunity to do a training course in IT and then do a work placement? Well I’ve decided not to go ahead with it. Basically if I was to go ahead with it, I stand to lose my benefits, and I just cant risk that. I need my medical card, I have to continue seeing dr. Barry, I cant lose her and if I lost my medical card I’d lose her too. That just isn’t an option for me. Plus also, the work placement was only for six weeks, and there was no guarantee of employment at the end of it. I am volunteering right now, and the staff at my volunteer job are really good to me, dropping me and picking me up, and generally being very helpful. If I was to do the training and then go into a six week employment somewhere, I might get somewhere really far away and it would cost me a small fortune to get there every day as I am not confident enough to do the route to get to where it would be. So I think this is the best option for me. I texted the person organizing it and I just said something came up and I wouldn’t be able to commit to the training. I left it at that. I’m happy with my decision. It was a nice offer, but for now I dont think it fits my needs. Maybe in the future if things change I can do something like this if its offered again. Also, my depression and mental health issues are not great at the moment, and I wouldn’t want to start into something and then not be able to complete it. And really, losing dr. Barry was the deciding factor, there was never any way that would even be a possibility for me, I am far too attached to her and I need her to function and if I didn’t have her I’d be in a far worse position than I am in right now.