4:45 AM

I woke up at 4 AM. I got up since I wasnt able to go back to sleep. I did go to bed pretty early though I was in bed by 10 PM. And I slept so thats good.

I am seeing my psychiatrist this morning. I am going to get to the hospital early, so that I will hopefully be finished early, since I have that awards ceremony and lunch today with my friendly call colleagues. I am being picked up to go to the ceremony and lunch at 12:30. I need to get out of my apt with dr. barry quickly, as I need to go to moms, get changed and put on make up.

I am looking forward to the awards ceremony. It should be a good day I think.

I am going to stay in mom and dads tonight. Im not sure of what time I’ll get back to their house at, and it just doesnt make sense to go home to my own house after it. I have to go to the basement club in the morning, I have a meeting to attend there about lunch hosting, so I will go directly there from mom and dads house tomorrow, and then I will go home after my meeting, since I will have Amanda my PA coming on friday morning.

I am in a good mood today. Plus, another few days of Oct. have gone by. Yay. I am so glad. I’ll just be so glad when Oct. is over.

carol anne

Virus-free. www.avg.com

well Gees!

Its so cooold!
I am like, freezing!
My toes feel like a block of ice!
I am going to go make a nice hot cup of tea!I need it to warm myself up!
I put socks on, but my nice fleecy slipper socks are at home. I dont think I have a pair at mom and dads! Le sigh!
Now that its not raining, or windy, I’m glad, but man is it ever cold! The heating has been on in the house for hours!
I hope it warms back up tomorrow! I know its almost the end of oct, but I am not ready for winter yet!

Virus-free. www.avg.com

My friend came through for me

My friend rose really came through today for me. I know we’ve had our issues lately but she’s been so supportive and helpful during my hard day today. She told me she’d be my sponsor! Ha I had to laugh at that! She told me Rosie says I need R and R rest and relaxation time and to have my breakfast tomorrow morning and then go right back to bed! I probably wont but we’ll see who knows, I may just do it!
I’m so delighted to have such amazing friends. I really appreciate that she has taken time to text with me today. It means so much to me and I am thankful for friends like her.

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Low mood

I am feeling really off today. my moods so low. so i went to mom and dads. i rang mom and i told her i felt off. i asked her if it would be ok if I came over. Of course she said yes that I should come over. So I did. I just feel so down. I’m struggling with memories, and intense emotions. The memories are awful. Its so hard to feel them come up. I had to ring amanda who is my PA and tell her I wouldnt be able to do our hours tomorrow. She was ok with that though. Because I didnt give her enough notice, she will still get payed. You had to give 24 hours notice or more before the PA doesnt get payed. I dont really feel up to doing anything this evening, so I think I’ll just chill out. Read and stuff. Just want to try to get through the rest of tonight. Sarah the CPN rang today also. Dr. barry had spoken to her and she’s going to ring me the weeks that I dont see dr. barry. So I’ll see dr. barry one week and on the alternative week Sarah will phone me. We had a good chat. She’s really nice and very understanding. She said I can do this I can get through the month and I will be ok, I just have to keep reminding myself that this month is half over now and I can make it through it. She is right, I know I can. I just do need to keep saying that to myself and hopefully that will help me get through it.

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Happy world mental health day!

Happy world mental health day!

I cant believe another ones rolled around already! Doesnt seem that long ago since last years one was upon us!

I was going to go to the basement club today. They are having a BBQ to celebrate. However I am not going now. I am going to the information morning though for the mental health in the community college course that is starting in january. I think its very apt that the info morning is actually happening on world mental health day.

I hope its good! I am excited to see what it is all about!

Here in ireland, there was a budget yesterday, its where our govnerment talks about how they’ll spend their funds for the next year, what they’ll invest them in etc. I was hopeful that they’d put more into mental health and services to help people with mental ill health. Unfortunately though they didnt!

Its awful that the mental health services are so under funded! How does the government expect people to cope? To live? To deal with mental illness in a constructive way? In a way that more people are abl e to talk about it, and not feel stigmatised or scared of rejection?

I urge you today on this world mental health day, that if your not ok, get help. Talk about it. Its ok not to feel ok. It is ok to ask for help. We all need it at some point in ou r lives. Its ok, honestly. Dont be afraid to ask. The help is out there.

We need to end the stigma of mental illness. We need to do it here and now!

So with that, what are you going to do to try to end stigma? Do you think having a day and week to celebrate world mental health is important? Do share in the comments!

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Just feel so depressed

I woke up at six, despite going to bed after 2 AM. I just wasnt able to sleep any longer so got up. I am feeling very off today. Not doing well at all. I’ve decided not to go volunteering. I just dont feel up to it. I wouldnt be any use to anyone. I am feeling too depressed. I also feel fragile and I think hearing about others problems would only set me off further. So I wont go. I will ring my supervisor when she gets into work and let her know. I made myself make some breakfast. I really didnt feel up to eating or making food, but I pushed myself to do it. Its not even 8 AM here yet. I think its going to be a long day. Also the weather is crap outside. Its very windy and threatening to rain. I just let nitro out and fed him so at least I managed to see to his needs. He is important to me so I am glad I was able to see to him. My friend texted me during the night. She was worried as she texted me yesterday after my therapy session and I didnt reply to her. Truth is I was too tired to talk then. I probably should have replied to just let her know I was ok. She worries for us at this time of year because she knows its hard for us. I replied this morning. I apologised for not replying to her message sooner. I need to shower but I just dont feel like it. I know thats gross. I probably will, I just have to muster up the energy. I feel too lethargic and too depressed. Im not sure where the depression is coming from. Other than the time of year but not sure what else is causing it. All I know is I feel so awful. Feel really low and like I couldnt be bothered like I dont care about anything. Ug I hope this doesnt last for too long. Its exhausting.
carol anne

Virus-free. www.avg.com