fuck fuck fuck

my thoughts are racing. oh fuck. its baaad

i cant cope this these thoughts. just feel overwhelmed and sad.

oh gawd, why is it always at night?

why? i just want to sleep. but every time I try

The tears fall

Pain, raw pain

It threatens to overtake me

Think I should go sit with nitro, feel his soft fur against my cheek

now thats the best idea I’ve had all night

carol anne


Happy Saturday

we are having a great weekend. very chilled out and relaxed. Am loving it.

Nitro is having ear trouble again. His trainer was out to see him and how he’s working yesterday and she said she thinks he has a fungal infection in his left ear. So I’ll need to take him to the vet for that. Unfortunately it will have to wait a couple days though. He doesn’t seem to be hurting so that’s good at least.

His trainer and me made a plan for us to learn to do some new routes, we are going to learn the route to the local gym near where I do my ILS course, and we are going to learn the route to starbux which is nearby also. She also taught me how to pick up dog poop, since I’ve never had to really do it, as he’s never gone in public and my mom usually cleans my back yard here at home, but now that I’m staying away from home Monday to Friday I need tl learn to pick up after him.

So yeah fun times ahead for me and nitro!

Mood wise things are pretty good today. I’m functional and I’ll take that over dysfunctional and unstable any time.

Share your world October 30th

Where do you eat breakfast?
Sitting at my kitchen table mostly. Or else I eat while Iā€™m rushing around getting ready for my day.
Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want have an evening with?
Oprah winfrey. I really admire her.
If you could be a tree or plant, what would you be?
An oak tree. They are so very strong.
What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.
The love of my dog, and my friends, inspired me this past week.

birthday boy!

today is nitro’s birthday. he’s 7 today.
we spoiled him, because he deserves it.
he has done so much for us, given us so much. he is our world.
happy birthday baby boy. I love you to the moon and back a million gazillion times over.
i am so happy that he is a part of my life. i’d be lost without him. i feel blessed to have him.

Nitro and the bagle

so trying to think up funny things here about our day to distract ourselves.

one thing today was nitro. while we were at the basement club he was being so rebellious.

he got hold of someones bag and went snooping in it. he found a bagle and ran off with it. how embarrassing, the guide dog who runs off with other peoples food!

it was hella funny though, I had to admit to that.
Our dogs got class!

Have a happy Monday everyone

good morning guys

i am so happy this morning. it feels nice. i woke up feeling refreshed. i slept well. i went to bed really early last night and i slept. i must have needed the sleep.

i am looking forward to seeing eileen this morning. i am not anxious about my session, nobody inside is anxious either. we are all excited to see eileen. she is our safe base, our safe person. not sure what will come out of todays session but i am not worrying about it. i will just allow what comes up to come up.

i’ve fed nitro and let him out. he’s full of beans this morning. he’s bouncy and wagging his tail. he wolfed down his breakfast too lol. i’m just catching up on some blogs, and drinking tea. life is good.