allie missing eileen

I miss Eileen tonight.

we shoulda been having our session today. but we didn’t cuz it was a bank holiday.

we’ll see her on Thursday. but it seems so far away.

I did email her though. I told her how much I loved her. and am missing her.

I took out her rose scent and sniffed it over and over. I don’t care if people think I’m weird. Eileen gave me the empty bottle and I always smell it and the scent still hasn’t gone out of it.

I also listened to her reading in my heart to me. I have that recorded. she said we can read another book soon. I cant wait. I will record her reading to us again. we left the book today I feel silly, and other moods that make my day in her office. so we’ll probably read that one.

Thursday better come quick. I need to go to therapy.
I need a hug from Eileen.

allie, age 9

Goals 3-20-2018

Goals for today, not many. If I can get these done I’ll be happy.


Take my meds


  • Eat 3 healthy meals

Go do my volunteering



Exercise for 20 minutes

Do dishes and tidy the house


triggers defused!

well ya’ll will be happy to know, I am no longer feeling triggered. Big sigh!
So thrilled, mostly I managed to defuse it on my own.
I watched tv, and later in the evening I took a hot shower.
I washed with my fave soap and glory shower gel, it smells soooo good!
It grounded me. I felt so much better after the shower.
Nothing like a hot shower to soothe your soul.
I cuddled with nitro, I read the blogs of some of you, I still have a lot to catch up on but I am slowly getting through the posts.
Its almost 1 AM. I doubt I sleep tonight. I think I got way too much sleep this weekend. I slept a lot. Its ok though if I don’t sleep tonight. I wont worry about it.
Tomorrow is an easyish day. I do need to go volunteering though. I’ll get there though. I’ll manage even if I don’t sleep much tonight.
Just happy I defused the triggers on my own.



so without going into to much detail, something has just really triggered me.
I’m trying to ignore the trigger. I’ve turned on Irelands got talent and am watching that. Trying to stay distracted.
Not sure its really working but I’m trying at least.
My thoughts are a bit all over the place though. Moods going haywire. Up and down and all around.
I just hope this doesn’t last too long. Damn triggers. I hate them.


Carol anne answers…

How do you relax after a hard day of work?

I take a long hot shower. I read a book. I blog. I drink some tea. I watch a tv show or two or listen to some music. And most Importantly, I try to have a good sleep.


Monday goals

Goals for today Monday are:

Eat 3 healthy meals
Exercise for 20 minutes on the treadmill
Watch some tv
Take meds
Tidy the house