This poem was written when I was 13.
Carol Anne
I want to hurt myself
and tell the world you did it
I want to scream, “I’m in pain”
but I never could admit it
I want to take all the hate
you put into my heart
I want to write it all on paper
and rip it all apart
I want to look at you with disgust
the way you looked at me
I want to hold up a mirror
so you can see what I had to see
I want to go back in time
and put up quite a fight
I want to be the one to win
but you keep me caged in fright
I want to be the one in control
and watch you shrink to the floor
I want to keep on hurting you
long after you scream “no more”
I want to watch you as a child
helpless and alone
I want to make you know
all the troubles that I’ve known
I want to make you yearn
for a love you’ll never get
I want to watch you run
into arms that pose a threat
I want to make you keep secrets
that made me go inside
I want to make you create
the only ones in whom you can confide
I want to take just one day
when our roles could be reversed
I want to make you hold the pain
and know that it’s the worst
I want to know that you understand
what your actions have done
I want to insure that in the future
your behaviours effect none
I want to warn the world
all you’re capable of
I want to ban you from showing
your insincere kind of love
I want to but I can’t
and there’s only one thing to say
I want to let you know
That everyone has a judgement day