The plan today was for me to visit my friend norma. We were going to exchange christmas gifts. So at 2:45 Pm I went over to her place. We had a good time, and we did exchange gifts. I had got her perfume, it was called flowers. I was hoping she’d like it and I wasnt disappointed. She loved it. She got me a gift set with a ton of shower products in it. There was about six different things in the set. Its lovely and I really loved it. We had a good catch up. She’s recently started with a new therapist so she told me all about her. I listened and tried to be supportive. I’m feeling kind of bla today. I feel like I am a little bit in crisis. I am feeling emotional and very anxious. I didnt tell her that though. I didnt want to worry her. She’s a terrible worrier and I knew if I told her that I wasnt ok she’d spend the whole evening worrying. I’ve decided I am going to use my distraction techniques this evening. I came home a few minutes ago. I cooked dinner and now I am on my laptop. I will read for a while later and watch a little bit of TV. I can always email Eileen if I need to, and actually any of us who want to can email her. Its not immediate and she doesnt usually respond to emails, but the way I am feeling I think I can manage, as long as I know that she’s recieving the emails and reading them I am ok. I dont see Eileen until thursday of this coming week, but I will see Dr. barry on Monday morning. So all will be fine. I can manage until then. I’m not at my parents this weekend. I am staying home in my own house. Our weather is meant to turn icy and sleet and snow are meant to fall overnight. My plan is to stay indoors with my heat on. Wrap up warm and snuggle up with Nitro. Crisis or no crisis I will manage. I can do this. I’ve managed during worse times. I’ll take an extra clonadine if I need to. I’m only meant to take one but I’m sure Dr. barry wont mind if I do that. I’ll tell her if I do it. I probably wont, but knowing that I can if I need to is helping me.
Our friend Ray sent us a christmas gift! We got it just now. The post woman brought it after 7 PM! She said due to it being black friday there was lots of parcels being delivered and that is why she was delivering it so late in the evening!
We had fun opening it! It was makeup! Lipsticks, and lip liners! Thank you Ray! I love makeup. We dont have a lot of lipsticks and lip liners so it will be nice to have some new ones.
We are going to wear some of the lipstick next week going to the friendly call christmas party! I cant wait to try it out!
Its fun to get presents in the mail! Thanks again RAy! You made our day!
Amy age 15
So some of you may already know, Emilia of the blog my inner mish mash was doing a readership award on her blog. She awarded us the award, and she sent us a package with some lovely gifts in it.
So yesterday afternoon, we did a video of us opening her package. I will share the video here for you all to watch.
Its been a quiet day for me today. I didnt get up to too much. I just relaxed.
I had dinner at my parents, my dad cooked a roast. It was delicious.
After dinner, mom went with me to my house. She spent about 2 hours here. She did a few things for me that needed to be done around the house. I am so glad that she can help me out. Its so nice of her to do stuff for me. We sat and chatted for a bit, then I rang her a taxi for her to get home. The taxi took ages to arrive. Eventually it did though and she got safely home.
I decided to face time Sarah in colorado then. We got on the phone and chatted and before I knew it we’d been on for over 2 hours. We sure know how to talk up a storm! We had a great chat about books, and about did and other things. It was a lot of fun.
Now I am just chilling out for a while. Its pouring down outside. I am glad I am indoors. I tried to let Nitro out to do his business but he refused. Guess he doesnt like the rain lol.
I have the radio on as I am typing this. I’m enjoying listening to it. I might watch a bit of tv in a little while and then read before going to sleep.
I’ve had a pretty good day today. Things here are up and down, we’re ok right now but it probably wont stay that way. We’ve been dealing with hard emotions all weekend, dark thoughts, triggers, you name it we’ve been dealing with it.
I had a nice evening here at home. I facetimed with sarah, that was lovely, and passed away almost 2 hours, we sure do know how to talk lol!
The weather here tonight is supposed to be bad, we’re under a status yellow warning for low temps, its supposed to get down to minus 3 or 4 C.
I am cosy and warm inside, with my heating on high!
I have the radio on and I am just doing stuff online, my plan is to stay up late, since I slept in this morning.
I am working tomorrow, but I am not sure of the times yet, I’ll have to ring my supervisor in the morning and see what time she needs me to go in at.
WE’RE STILL NOT DOING TO GOOD! STILL NOT OK!
BUT WE’RE TRYING!
DOES THAT COUNT? EMOTIONALLY WE’RE SPENT!
WE’VE BEEN AGITATED ALL EVENING!
CRIED A LOT TOO!
WE’RE JUST A MESS! A COMPLETE MESS!
CANT SHAKE THIS!
I DID HAVE A NICE BUBBLE BATH THOUGH WHICH DID HELP A LITTLE!
NOW I’M GONNA MAKE SOME TEA! SIP ON IT AND TRY TO SELF SOOTHE!
THIS IS THE LONGEST FEW HOURS I’VE PUT DOWN IN A WHILE!
I’M READY FOR A BREAK NOW!
WHEN YOUR BLUE, WHO CAN YOU TURN TO?
YOUR FRIENDS, THAT IS WHO!
YOU’VE ALL BEEN SO AMAZING! THANK YOU THANK YOU!
WITHOUT YOU I DONT KNOW WHAT WE’D DO!
Can someone sit with me?
Tell me I’m ok?
That I’m not crazy?
I feel so crazy
I need a friend
Someone to lean on
Someone to just sit
Quietly and be here for me
When I am unable
To be here for myself