i feel great because I acomplished a lot today. i got all of my xmas cards written. now i have to just send them off which i am going to do tomorrow. i have about 20 cards going to the USA. that will cost me a small fortune but I dont care, I love writing the cards and knowing I am going to make my friends happy. i also have cards going to the netherlands, poland, and the UK. i hope my friends will like the cards i chose. i put a lot of thought into choosing them. a cool thing happened when i was writing the cards. mom was helping me. and i needed her to write a few of the cards because a few people i am sending them to are sighted. so i said mom, i need you to write cards, and I need you to sign them Carol anne. And she didnt protest. She said ok and she did it! I was stunned! I told her that Carol anne is an alter. She never said a word never acted like I was crazy or it was bad or wrong. Is this my mom? I could not believe it. so yeah am feeling thankful that my mom just did what i asked without making a fuss about it. thanks, mom. she’s really starting to come through for me lately.
Am I real?
Right now it doesnt feel like it at all!
Wondering, because things seem really off!
I need a friend so if anyones around, write to me? thanks guys!
If I can’t hug physically, to help heal a broken or troubled heart, then I will hug with my words socially, mentally and spiritually until I reach the inner wounds of brokenness; soothing innerly with words that heal and mend with assurances of hope to rise again through faith and self-belief. Give a healthy hug to help ease the pains away, with hope!
so i called my friend, she’s not coming over because she’s doing something else this afternoon and wont be able to come. Ah well. It was worth a shot to ask her. Instead I am organising my external hard drives. I have so much media on them and I need to organise it better. After that I’m going to have an early lunch and then watch some stuff on tv this afternoon. I’m not short on things that i want to see. I might, if I feel up to it do some college work later this evening as well. We shall see how it goes.
so my saturdays going well. my niece and nephew are gone home so peace at last lol. mom and i had a small argument earlier where she yelled at me because she said I annoyed her and was being unappreciative of what she’s doing for me. i stormed off feeling hurt and stormed in to my room and was determined that I’d stay in here all weekend. lol the logic of it now it seems so childlike. or teenagery. a few mins later mom walked in with a caramel latte for me, a peace offering. her way of apologising without actually saying sorry. i was grateful though that it was over. i did say to her after a while that I’d appreciate it if she didnt shout at me, that I am an adult and she cant treat me as if I’m not. she seemed receptive to what I said so thats good at least. other than that saturday is going well. i’m chilling out. i didnt even get dressed today, i refused to get dressed haha. my friend Maeve just rang me asking if I want to go see a band tomorrow night as its the jazz weekend here in cork but I said no. I dont fancy being out in a pub in crowds of people unable to hear anyone because the music is so loud. I would prefer to stay home and watch x factor. which is what i am going to do tonight also. mom is going to see her brothers wife the lady i mentioned some time back whose dying of bone cancer. i havent gone but i did speak to her on the phone this past week. she’s still hanging in there with us 2 weeks after recieving the news that she’s terminal and only had a week to a month left to live. Tomorrow mom said she’d take me grocery shopping. I need to get a few bits to tide me over this week while I’m on midterm. I made a list and I wont be straying from it. Mondays a bank holiday so I plan on having another chill out day.
so last night my friend maeve from the basement club called me. it was out of the blue. like i see her a lot, but she doesnt call me a lot outside of when we see one another at the basement club. so it was a nice surprise.
she said it was another members birthday on Saturday. her name is Roz. and there is a party in a restaurant in the city centre. a group of members organised it. and did i want to come.
of course i said yes i did. i love a good party. and to be thought of was so nice. to be included. it feels so good. so i’m going to go.
it will make for a nice saturday afternoon. i will get her a card today and some lottery tickets. she wouldnt be a great friend of mine, maeve is more friendly with roz than I am, but I know her, and I like her.
so now I have weekend plans for saturday. yay.
so yeah i got 3 hours sleep. you might say that left me tired. but it actually didnt. i woke up feeling good. my back stopped hurting. i got up and showered and feel so refreshed. energised even. i ate breakfast with my mom, she made it for me, she’s the best 🙂
so mom texted my sister, to see how she is today after being violently sick yesterday with a stomach bug. she texted back and said she still is weak but she has eaten and she is feeling a little better. so she will be coming over to mom and dads for dinner. its our sunday thing, we all eat together, then she will color my hair for me. and cut it too. i’m going on a trip this coming weekend to killarney for a couple of days. so i’m getting myself all spruced up for it lol.
i’ll do my tan tonight. the tan i buy its a moisturizer with a shimmer in it so you have to put it on a couple of times to make it come up and look nice.
might give my friend norma a call in a little while to see if she wants to come over later on this afternoon to my house. my sister will be dropping me home after my hair is done.
my other friend rose got admitted to the psych ward yesterday. i kind of knew she would. she had been doing badly for a while. she had gotten referred to the crisis team but she got very suicidal yesterday. i tried to support her as best as i could through texting. i feel bad because she asked me to come over but i couldnt, i was so tired i didnt have the energy to go visiting. but i was there via text and i kept her company while she waited for the psychiatrist to assess her. we chatted back and forth and last night i sent her a good night text to let her know i am thinking of her. i dont know how long she’ll be in for. usually she’s in for a couple of weeks. dr. barry is her psychiatrist too.
well thats about it for now.