So my public health nurse called me back. She wans to come out and meet me. She said she’d like to assess my needs.
I already have a file with them, as I’ve seen public health nurses in the past for various things. She provisionally booked me in for next wednesday, but she said she’d be in touch next week to arrange it and firm up dates.
I am so nervous. I will have to tell her my history, about my mental health, how I struggle so much with that. Its not just my blindness causing me problems. The mental illnesses are a far more complex part of my history and actually I would say they are more what I struggle with.
Although I will of course put down blindness also, as thats my primary disability. In order to get more PA hours, I have to say what I am going to use them for. She told me to think about what I need, why I need the hours, she gave me a few suggestions, like we can use them to batch cook, or for my PA to iron clothes, do laundry etc.
All of this relates to my blindness, but in regards to my did and ptsd and anxiety, we can also use hours for socialising, going places, getting out and about. The PA doesnt have to know all of my history, and probably wont be trained in anything to do with mental health anyway.
So between now and next week, I will think on somc ideas for what I will use my hours on, and I will write down some notes. Then I can use my laptop and read out to the nurse what I’ve written down.
I’m not sure how long its going to take to get extra hours, the place providing them are very slow, there’s lots of red tape, paperwork to go through when applying, and then it has to go before a bord. They’ve refused me in the past, saying I was too independent. I hope they dont do that again. Who says how independent a person is anyway, they dont know me at all.
I am hopeful, and hoping for the best outcome once I apply.
Tag: Therapy
From Emily, anxiety again
Hihihii guys
I’m so anxious. I cant breathe good. My chest hurts. My heart is pounding. I got really triggered. I was having flashbacks, which triggered me to have a panic attack.
I’m so scared. I dont know what to do. Its hard to breathe, I’m also shaking a lot.
Is anyone around to talk? If you are able to write me that will be good. I might feel better if I chat to someone, it might take my mind off the memories.
Right now I am just feeling so anxious. Its 1 AM now. I’m going to make some tea. Because, tea makes everything better.
Butterfly hugs,
Loves you,
Emily, age 12
Tomorrow I can chill out, yay!
So tomorrow is going to be a chill day. I am so relieved! I’ve been so busy lately. I need a day or two to just chill out!
My moms going to come over for an hour or two and I am going to help her with her forms for disability, she says I am good at wording things, she needs to say how her COPD is effecting her life, and she wants me to help her word it correctly.
She’s bringing me lunch, some soup and a sandwich. Its homemade soup yum yum! She’s also cooking some chicken for me and seasoning it with hot korean pepper spices! I love them! I will have that for dinner with a baked potato.
I will have my PA coming in the evening tomorrow. She’ll just do some housework. Other than those two things, I can have a chill day, I will enjoy my relaxation time!
I napped again today, but that is fine, as no plans tomorrow or on thursday, so that gives me a little leeway to get my sleep back in order.
Me and Nitro are enjoying some quiet time now. I watched an episode of my 600 pound life on tv, it was so sad. The lady who was on it was 640 pounds, and she was trying to get weight loss surgery to help her lose some weight. She was only 34 years old.
Then I started watching abducted in plain sight, a documentary on net flicks, a true crime documentary. I only watched half of it, and will watch the other half tomorrow evening.
I will also watch operation transformation tomorrow evening, after my PA leaves. Ok well, I am off to make some tea! Emily wants a cup of tea and then we will read for a little while!
God anxietys back
its 4:13 and I cant sleep. I went to bed just after midnight, but I woke up again at 2:30. I’ve been awake since then.
I’m going crazy. I am super anxious. Not sure what is causing it. Other than not going to therapy this morning, that is probably causing some of it, with kids inside feeling sad that we’re not going to see Eileen today.
I’ve made a cup of tea. I hope it helps.
BAD WEATHER. WE’RE NOT GOING TO THERAPY…
WE ARENT GOING TO THERAPY TODAY. THERE IS A STORM COMING, AND WE’RE UNDER A WEATHER WARNING FROM 7 AM TODAY UNTIL LATE TONIGHT. SO WE DECIDED TO STAY HOME, ITS PROBABLY BEST THAT WE DO, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE WINDS ARE MEANT TO BE HIGH, 130 KM PER HOUR AND THE RAIN IS MEANT TO BE VERY HEAVY ALSO. I TEXTED EILEEN, TOLD HER I WASNT ABLE TO MAKE IT INTO OUR SESSION, SHE WAS TOTALLY FINE WITH IT. WE ASKED HER IF SHE COULD POSSIBLY DO ANOTHER DAY NEXT WEEK INSTEAD OF MONDAY, AS WE’RE SEEING DR. BARRY ON MONDAY, AND SHE OFFERED US TUESDAY AT 4:30. SO WE TOOK IT. SO WILL SEE HER THEN, SAD WE DONT GET TO SEE HER TODAY BUT NEED TO STAY SAFE, NEED TO STAY INDOORS…WE CAN EMAIL HER IF WE NEED TO…THAT WILL HAVE TO BE ENOUGH…
LIZ
My head its like a zoo in here!
There is so much noise inside my head! Kids chatting, some are excited, some are crying, some are scared, some are just chatting to each other.
Its like a zoo in here!
The teen insiders are just as bad! Some are complaining about how unfair their life is, some are in the midst of trauma and stuck in their own pain and memories, some are in their rooms with their music blaring, some are writing their thoughts on paper.
And here we are me and liz and sienna and the other adults, trying to manage the unmanageable!
And it does feel really unmanageable tonight!
Its always like that the day of therapy and the day or two after it!
We had a really great session yesterday, which I will write more about in the coming days. But Shirley came out for part of it, and our eyes were opened. Also Liz talked to Eileen about her own feelings and I know that really helped her a lot.
We came home last night from slimming world, ate dinner, and simply crashed, but sleep didn’t come easily, every time that we tried to settle, the kids were crying, afraid of having nightmares, so they were afraid to go to sleep!
We finally slept a bit, but woke at 3 AM! Got up, showered, and now we’re ready for the day!
I just gotta get our zoo in order! 😀
Its here, therapy day yay!
and its over! our therapy break is over yay! I am so glad!
We will see Eileen in less than 2 hours!
I am so excited!
It feels wonderful to be actually going to see her again!
I am looking forward to connecting and giving her a huge hug!
We’re going to bring the new book the kids got for christmas so she can read it to them.
They were supposed to do it before christmas but time ran away with us!
I am so, so happy our break is over!
Happy tuesday everyone!
