Dr. barry and me had a great apt yesterday. It was so lovely to see her. I was so looking forward to our apt after a 3 week break.
During our apt we were talking and she said to me…
Your out of the hospital two years this week. Were you aware of that?
Me? Two years, wow! It has flown!
Dr. barry: I’m so, so proud of you. Your doing great. Your managing so much at the moment, and your coping, you arent in crisis. Well done!
Just hearing her say those words, I’m so proud of you, really helped me so much. I am managing a lot. Easter is hard. Our birthday week is hard. I’ve been dealing with a lot of ptsd symptoms lately. But I am managing, I’m getting through each day. I’m finding that I am able to cope more nowadays.
A few years ago I’d never have been able to do that. I’d have drowned in all the turmoil of the emotional upheaval that is my life sometimes.. I’d have gone into a crisis. I’d have ended up in the psych ward.
Thats real progress that I’m not in there. And to hear dr. barry say that meant the world to me.
I want nothing more than to make her proud. She’s done so much for me. She’s been through so much with us. For six years she’s stood by our side, she has helped us through a whole lot of stuff and we are so so grateful for her support.
When we came out of her office and went to the desk to make the next apt, she asked the secretary to fit me in in two weeks time, the secretary said, I cant, your not here that week, is 3 weeks ok?
Dr. barry hesitated, knowing that I usually see her every two weeks, and knowing also that its hard for me to go longer than that, I panic, I usually cant cope, I get all worried and insecure. But I said, thats ok, 3 weeks is ok.
She said to me, are you sure? I said I was. As we walked together to the front entrance, she said to me, you know, I’m so, so proud of you, you know that? The fact that you even agreed to wait 3 weeks to see me, I know thats a huge deal for you.
I was touched that she realised how important it is to me and how I didnt agree to it lightly. I think we’ll be ok though, although eileen is on holidays too next week, so we have little support next week, but we are able to email eileen if we need to do that.
I’m happy we had such a great appointment, and it feels so nice to be told how proud she is of me. It makes me glow. My heart swells with pride.