so we were meant to see our OT mark today. However that never happened.
It was because of the stormy weather. Traffic was bad and mark lives outside the city. He got stuck in traffic and he was going to be 40 minutes late for our apt.
So we said we’d leave it for another time. Probably in two weeks when I next see dr. barry we’ll have an apt then. I am ok with leaving it until then. There was no emergency nothing I needed to see him urgently about.
I had texted him to say I’d be late, but then he rang me when he was going to be so late coming in. He was so apologetic, but what can you do? You cant predict the weather.
After we hung up from talking he texted me to thank me. Sweet of him I thought. He said not having an apt today really took the pressure off of him so thats good. I’m happy I could help.
We’ll eventually meet up, and until we do I know if I need anything I can email him or call or text him. Just knowing that is enough and I am happy I can do that.
so I haven’t updated on how taking my meds has been going in a while. Its going relatively well. We still do forget them occasionally, but more often than not we’re taking them and doing it correctly. I guess that’s progress. Its hard, dissociation makes it hard to always remember them. We really have to work hard to actually remember. We tried delegating the job of taking them to lottie, but that didn’t really work out, as Lottie wasn’t out enough to keep track properly. She still does like to have the job of being in charge of them though. Like of making sure no one is stockpiling them or making sure that the right amount of pills are out for each day. She did take them too for a while but like I said shes not out enough to do it every day. So the task has fallen to me, of Jade, or Amy. That’s ok though. Between us 3 we’re managing. I’ve had no side effects either from going back on all of our meds. That pleases me. I hate side effects. The only meds we aren’t back on fully now are lyrica and Prozac. We’re back taking everything else properly. I think over the next month of two we’ll probably go back on the rest of the meds. Probably after dr. barrys vacation she’ll start us back on them. I’m happy I can report that things seem to be going fine. Its a huge relief to me.
Well, I never went to my friends. It was kind of a bummer as I needed the cheering up. But when I called her she was going somewhere with her sister. She did say that we could rearrange it for during the week. So then when that didn’t happen, I decided to do a little self care after dinner, so I took a nap. A nap that turned into about 3 hours, lol. But I feel so good now after it. I feel refreshed and rejuvenated. And my mood is much better. Mentally I am feeling good. So I guess that’s a win, right? I’ve eaten really healthily all day. I’ve had a ton of fruit, I made two fruit salads and I put natural yoghurt on top. They were delicious. I didn’t get any exercise in today. But that’s ok, I’ll get a ton of it in this week when I’m home. I’ll go on the treadmill every day, at least that’s the plan anyway. When I was sleeping I had weird dreams. Not bad ones, just weird. Cant even describe them but they were kinda out there, now that I’m awake I can barely remember the details but when I first awoke I could remember them vividly. Anyway. Tomorrows a bank holiday here. Mom is going to come to my house with me for the afternoon. Hopefully my sis will drop me home when she is on her way to work. Well that’s about it i guess. So catch yall soon guys.
good morning everyone…
its like the calm before the storm outside. its very very calm. but we are due to get a massive storm, no one is meant to go out after 4 pm today.
if you do the weather people say you’ll be putting your life in danger.
snows still on the ground. i’m tucked up in my bed with a mug of tea.
I didn’t sleep last night, but I was able to sleep for a few hours this morning.
I just got online and payed bills. so boring but has to be done.
well guys hope everyones having a great morning or afternoon where ever you are.
I was meant to see my OT mark this morning. However I rang and canceled it yesterday afternoon. I felt like crap and also I had to wait in for the post because I was to receive a cheque which I needed to change to get dog food.
So Mark said he’d phone me this morning to have a catch up. And so that’s what we did. He called about 9 AM. And we chatted for 20 minutes. I gave him a run down of my first week of doing the independent living skills course. He asked me if I had any concerns, I didn’t. Everything is going well. I am happy with how things are going. I love the course, I’m enjoying it.
He said it was amazing that I had nothing negative to say. I thought so too lol. We talked about anxiety and my anxiety around having my own space and having to be social when I didn’t want to be and stuff. I said I was doing well with that, that I was making an effort to socialise outside of the course, in the evenings, but that if I need space I sorta use Nitro as an excuse, saying I need to take him outside for a couple of minutes just so that I can get a little space from my surrounds, a little fresh air.
Mark thought that was a super idea. He congratulated me on using my coping skills wisely.
I told him that they are looking for an OT to do a risk assessment to see whether I am safe to have a kettle in my room, safe using boiling water etc. They have to do this, its to cover their own assess just in case I was a liability. Mark said if they need someone to do it he’d do it for them. He told me to wait and see what they’ll come up with and if they’ll have an OT on hand, and if not, then I can call him and he’ll assess me.
As things stand he left it that I’d call him in a couple of week to check in, we didn’t make a new appointment to meet face to face, since I don’t have any time off now until xmas.
I’m glad we caught up though. I always like to check in with him if I can. He’s been a great source of support to me over the past couple of years.
just saw my OT mark. he had a student with him today. a final year fourth year college student who was studying to be an OT. he had asked me if it was ok if the student came in, i said yes. after all he has to learn!
we talked about me starting the independent living skills course. mark did not know i was starting it, i had not gotten the place when i last saw him. he was thrilled for me. said it was a great opportunity. which it is thats true.
we talked and i told him i’d been writing lists. lists of my triggers, lists of my coping skills, lists of distraction techniques. lists of who to go to when I am in crisis. so many lists.
i’ve also been looking at grounding techniques. the staff in abode arent trained in dealing with mental illness. they know a little bit about it but most of them dont have a background in psych stuff. they know i have did and ptsd. i havent hidden it from them. but i want to find ways to manage during the week, because then i have a higher success rate of finishing the course out.
dr. barry told me this morning that it wont be a problem, because I am managing my mental health every day, with not a lot of support.
its just staying in the residential setting from monday to friday will be a whole new experience for me. one i am not used to. mark told me to bring lots of comfort objects. so i will. i’m going to bring my blanket and some stuffed animals. the littles need their stuffies.
he asked me what helps when i am triggered, i told him mostly sensory stuff, tactile things help. patting nitro, smelling the rose scent, wrapping up in my blanket, drinking something etc. things i can touch, feel, smell, taste, etc.
we are going to meet again in two weeks, i’ll have started the course by then and will have a week done. so we’ll meet after the first week for a kind of debrief.