a sunday ramble

i’m having another lazy day. not up to much. woke up early, actually was awake during the night, at like 5 AM. got up for an hour went online, and then was able to go back to sleep for another hour or so. woke up at 8, because nitro decided he was going to lick my face until I got up 😛 he’s so funny he just wanted to see who was out in the kitchen he’s so nosey hahahaha 🙂 so i got up and fed him and then i was starving myself so i ate breakfast. i made yummy hot buttered toast, i love it when the butter is melted on the toast, its my favourite way to eat it. i havent done anything else this morning except showered. my dads brother is here the one thats in a nursing home, its his birthday today and so he came to my parents house for dinner. its my dads birthday tomorrow. there is 3 years between him and his brother, his brother is older by 3 years, my dad will be 64 tomorrow. i gave him money, because i didnt know what else to get him, he’s not a gifts sort of person, he prefers the money. i’ll just relax for the rest of the afternoon, i’ll be going home to my own house around 6 PM. and of course x factors on tonight, i’ll be glued to it. i’m totally addicted.
do any of you watch x factor?
what are you doing for your sunday?
carol anne


Hard to hear

so we got some sad news today. an aunt of ours, our moms brothers wife, is dying. she has bone cancer, and she was given the news yesterday that she only has about 1 week to 1 month left to live.
She has been really ill for the past couple of weeks. last week she was admitted to hospital, and they gave her two blood transfusions. the doctors told her yesterday that she isnt making blood, and that they cant give her any more transfusions. basically there is no more they can do.
we are all devastated.
If you pray, please send prayers our way.
her son is a drug addict and he is on the streets, no one knows where he is so he hasnt been told yet.
her daughter also takes drugs. she isnt quite as bad as the son but she’s still bad enough.
moms brother her husband, is frantic.
imagine the stress he’s under? a dying wife, and two addicts for kids?
it breaks my heart. i havent seen her since she got the bad news.
i’m not sure i’m strong enough to see her.

Wet Friday morning

its a wet day outside this morning. very very wet.
I woke in the middle of the night, and I stayed up for about an hour. eventually I was able to go back to sleep.
I got up at 7 and mom washed my hair. I have an apt with my cpn sarah at 10:15. was meant to go volunteering after that but I don’t think I will go. its far too wet.
we’re supposed to get the end of a tropical storm in Ireland this weekend. so there will be high winds and lots of rain.
my dad is gone to his gastroenterologist this morning. he’s hoping she’ll start him on some sort of treatment. he’s pinned all his hopes on it so I hope he wont be disappointed.
he also had physio this week to retrain his bowel. the physio gave him exercises to do and a chart to mark off each time he goes to the bathroom.
my mom went with him. she’ll go in to the doctor with him and ask questions because he never does.

todays the day

today is the day I start college. I am nervous. But I also cant wait.

Let the learning begin. I’m ready. Bring it on.

I only got 3 hours of sleep. I woke at 5 AM. The 3 hours I did get were broken. I was tossing and turning. Eventually I decided to get up and shower.

Now I am drinking coffee and going through email. I love early mornings…they are so peaceful. When the world sleeps and I am awake.

I have such a busy tuesday ahead. I’ll be on the go for the entire day.

I hope college is good tonight. Please send good wishes and support. i can do this. I know I can.

Alcoholism in the family

so when we were little, like under 2, we lived with our dads family. there was mom, dad and me, my dads mom, his sister and brother all living in the same house. his mom, sister and brother were all alcoholics. my mom was young, she was 17 when she had me. she was young and vulnerable and very scared. she grew up with violence and conflict and stuff but not alcoholism. all of this was new to her. she had a lot to learn. when she would go somewhere where she could not take me along, i was looked after either by my aunt dads sister or his mom. they were always drunk. they could not look after me properly. they were careless and left us in dangerous situations. so many times. we were traumatised. left alone. alone to fend for ourselves. we learned not to cry. we learned to be quiet. so as not to cause arguments or get hurt by drunk people. it was our normal. tonight i am remembering. and it hurts. the pain of remembering is so overwhelming. why did this have to happen? why? a question I’ll never find ansers too.
carol anne

Recipe-Autumn apple salad

Autumn Apple Salad
1 can (20 ounces) crushed pineapple, undrained
2/3 cup sugar
1 package (3 ounces) lemon gelatin
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
1 cup diced unpeeled apples
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup whipped topping
1/2 to 1 cup chopped nuts
Lettuce leaves
In a saucepan, combine pineapple and sugar; bring to a boil and boil for 3 minutes. Add gelatin; stir until dissolved. Add cream cheese; stir until mixture is well blended. Cool. Fold in apples, celery, whipped topping and nuts. Pour into a 9 inch square pan. Chill until firm, several hours or overnight. Cut into squares and serve on individual lettuce-lined plates.
Makes 9 to 12 servings.

a relaxed sunday just what I need!

i’ve been having a relaxing day. alls quiet here. just what i like. i spent the morning at mom and dads. i had a nice long hot bubble bath to relax my muscles. then i read my book for a while. i got through 4 chapters of it, i have less than an hour of this book left to read now. the book is who will love me now and is by maggie hartley. its a brilliant read. all of her books are brilliant. i thoroughly enjoy them. we had sunday lunch, a roast chicken dinner. it was so yummy. my dad made roast potatos which were really good. mom went to the store for me and got me a couple things i needed and also got some money out of the ATM for me. i am grateful to her for doing that as it saves me doing it tomorrow. i got a taxi home after dinner to my own house, and i plan on having a low key evening. i will watch x factor and read some more, catch up on blogs, and not sure what else. this coming week i’m going to be super busy. i’ll be like a headless chicken on tuesday. tomorrow is not too bad, but i do have therapy and then i am going to the basement club after that. tuesday i’m going to be out of the house from 8 AM until 10:30 PM that night. I’ll barely have an hour to eat dinner after my two volunteer jobs before I’ll have to shoot off to college for 7 PM that evening. wednesday i see dr. barry, and i’ll be going to a meeting with the co-ordinator of the big brother big sister programme to talk about my application. thursday and friday i’ll be going to the basement club. so yep a busy week ahead but i dont mind, i like being busy.