THIS IS A SUCKFEST OF A NIGHT.
I SHOULD BE ASLEEP, ITS ALMOST 2 AM
INSTEAD I AM UP RUMINATING
I AM OVERTHINKING AND PANICKING AND ANXIOUS AND FEARFUL
I MADE MYSELF SOME COFFEE, PROB NOT THE BEST IDEA BUT OH WELL IT IS WHAT IT IS
I NEED COFFEE I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND COFFEE HELPS ME CALM DOWN
PANIC IS RINNING RAMPANT THROUGH THE SYSTEM
I WROTE EILEEN AN EMAIL TO TELL HER WHAT IS GOING ON
I THINK ITS TO DO WITH MEMORIES AND BEING SCARED TO SLEEP FOR FEAR OF NIGHTMARES
WE TOOK OUR MEDS EARLY AND ALL HOPING FOR A GOOD NIGHT OF DECENT SLEEP
GOD HAVING DID IS A SUCKFEST SOMETIMES
Whose in your immediate family?
so in my family there is myself, mom and dad, and I have one sister, named laura. my sister is 28, and I am almost 38.
my mom had me when she was 17, she is 55 now. my dad is 65.
I have one niece and one nephew, davin is my nephew, he’s five, and lauren is my niece, she’s almost 10.
My sister has a partner named davin senior. They are engaged…dont know though when they are getting married.
one thing i am certain of
is that i have a profuse amount
of love in my heart, love to give to my friends
nitro is a happy pooch tonight. i just spent the best 20 minutes cuddling him. he’s so soft. makes my anxiety better every time i cuddle him. and it was starting to get pretty bad for some reason not sure why though.
he was in my bad books earlier, because when i let him out he wouldnt come in, i was calling his name and whistling for him and he pretty much just ignored me, he was like, mom, i cant hear you, and the more I called him the less he listened. silly puppy.
then this morning one of my class mates dropped a cookie, and boy was he happy then, he was in for the kill and grabbed that cookie up quick as lightning!
he’s snuggled up on his duvet now, yes, he has a fluffy duvet, which he loves, I might add.
so as i mentioned earlier today was all about self care.
relaxing, chilling out, being good to ourselves.
we did a few self care things throughout the day.
we had a latte and read our book while we drank it.
we had a long, hot bubble bath.
we ate a lovely bowl of homemade vegetable soup for dinner, it was yummy.
we got our hair cut, our mom did it for us.
so yeah lots of self care today. we needed it. after a busy week, and an exhausting week, its nice to just be kind to yourself.
do you agree?
i got adventurous tonight at dinner time. i tried salmon pasta bake. i never had salmon before. but i liked it. it tasted absolutely delicious.
i’m not a big fish eater. normally the only fish i eat is breaded fish, so this was a huge deal for me to even try it.
i’m glad i did, though.
i wasnt going to eat dessert but then when i found out it was orange chocolate cheese cake i couldnt resist.
and so now i am stuffed. stuffed and happy lol.
so last night I went to bed at about 11. I literally couldnt keep my eyes open any longer.
I was falling asleep at the computer!
So off I went to bed. And I slept like a log!
Joy! I actually got a great nights sleep! Its now 6 AM and I just woke up. I made myself tea and I am now catching up on blogs.
And I feel gooood!
I listened to my body and it feels wonderful!
I really need to do that more often!
Do you listen to your body when its trying to tell you something?
Did you sleep well last night?