PA stuff

so i’ve emailed the people who provide my PA service this morning. I was clear in the email about what I need in a PA going forward.
The person in the office said they’d try their best to get me someone that will suit my needs. Kristen finishes with me on Thursday. I dont want to be without a PA but I fear I may be without someone for a couple of weeks.
I told the office I need someone who can provide a driving service if that is possible. Otherwise it will get expensive paying for taxi’s to and from the grocery store. Yes we pay the PA for gas but what we pay the PA is minimal compared to the expense of getting a taxi.
So we shall see. Only time will tell if I get someone who drives or not.
I really am hoping for a good match. Who I get is important to me. Its important I can relate to them and I am able to get along with them. Their personality traits are important to me.


no college tonight and other things

so i found out that the college i go to is closed today. so i have no classes tonight. so that gives me time to get caught up on my reflective learning journal, of which i have two weeks to catch up on, but am i doing that? noooo, of course I’m not. I’m procrastinating.
Kristen came this morning…it was her second last day of working with us. She did some cleaning, went to starbux for us, and helped us make breakfast. we got a pumpkin spice latte in starbux. it was delicious, my first one of the season.
i decided to go stay with mom and dad tonight and tomorrow night. i’m going to see dr. barry tomorrow morning, and then in the afternoon I’m going to a conference on mental health, run by the counselling service at the basement club. my friend norma is coming with me. it should be good. the theme of it is mind your mind.
i read this morning on facebook that another storm is set to hit us at the weekend. not as bad as ophelia but still bad enough with high winds and lots of rain. thats all we need…

i waas fraid of strom

its elane i five
i was fraid of strom
i hate them
thay mak me so skard
i not lik rain and wind
or funder but ther waas no funder
jus wind and rain
and we hid frum it
but carol anne maked us chiken nugets
and onion rings
amy wanted onion rings
she is so funy she loves them
i lov chiken nugets wif tamato katchup
yaah thats yumy
so i ate dem wif darina and lexi and taylor and erika
now i snugled up uner a blanket
it a horse blanket
carol anne has tha radio on
and we hav ar laptop and we ar warm and cosey

one week to go

so i only have one week to go before we start the independent living skills course. with each day that passes i get more and more excited. this is a great opportunity. not only do i gain skills but i am in a supported environment with other disabled people and staff to help me. this is great and i think we will really benefit from being there. i know the staff arent trained in handling mental health difficulties, but they do know we have did and ptsd, and they are ok with it. we can tell them things like that we feel anxious, etc. we dont have to tell them the full extent of things if we get triggered, so as not to freak them out completely. im hoping though we dont get triggered too often. there are two other people there who have mental illnesses as well. both of them are in wheelchairs. i know they struggle because they both told me. i’ve been preparing for going, getting laundry ready, fixing up my house etc. the great thing is they have transportation there, so it means i will be able to keep my apt to see dr. barry because they will take me there. I will also be able to continue my volunteering as well as part of the course. I was delighted about that. I didnt want to give up volunteering! so yeah just so excited. there is also a nervous anxiousness running through my body!
carol anne

Succumb to my emotions

I succumb to my emotions
and now I feel weak
Stupid even
How come I keep doing this?
What is wrong with me?
pain, hurt, sadness
Its all there
All encompassing
I succumb to it
Even though I try not to
Now its time
To make some tea
And breathe into the emotion
To just be
Be free to be me


Exceptional, a daily word prompt from a few days ago

Things I am

1 singing
2 knitting
3 listening to others
4 reading books and taking in the storylines in them
5 being non judgemental
6 being kind to my friends
7 loving my dog
8 being sarcastic 😛
9 loving my partner
10 Getting along with others

third session with sarah and dad update

today we had our third session with sarah. we had a good session.
we told her all about getting the place on the independent living skills course. she congratulated us. said it was a great opportunity. of course she told us to mind ourselves because we are going to be so busy, dont forget to do self care things, was what she said.
we talked about when we could meet now that i’d be super busy all week every week. the only times i can meet her are either wednesday when i see dr barry or on friday afternoons. i really would prefer to see her on a different day than when I see dr. barry. the next time we meet it will be on a thursday, 3 weeks from now.
when i start the ILS course next week i’ll do one week then I’ll be off for a week bc they are on midterm.
so i’ll see her during the week I am off.
she said I sounded good today. like I am excited. and I am. She said I seemed ok. Its true I felt ok.
Update on my dad…he saw his gastroenterologist today. She didnt start him on any treatment for his bowel issue. She did however start him on injections for his brittle boan. She seemed to be worried about it, said his bones werent too good at all. she told him to continue the physio to retrain his bowel. his liver ultrasound came back ok, surprisingly. he does have fatty tissue though surrounding his liver. he came home and was disappointed that she didnt really do much. did you ask questions? i asked him. no not really was his answer. why not? i said. I couldnt be bothered. well dad, if you dont ask, you dont get answers.