4 AM ramble

well its 4 AM. I’m not asleep as you can see.
I tried but couldn’t drop off. So got up again, no point to lying there thinking a million thoughts and unable to shut your brain up or off.
So I am up. I am just pottering around the house, and pottering around online.
I have the radio on low. And its very peaceful. Not a sound to be heard.
Just how I like it. Nitros fast asleep. He was dreaming in his sleep. He was whimpering, I think its so cute when he does that.
Is anyone else up?
Talk to me if you are?
❤ 🙂


Goals 3-20-2018

Goals for today, not many. If I can get these done I’ll be happy.


Take my meds


  • Eat 3 healthy meals

Go do my volunteering



Exercise for 20 minutes

Do dishes and tidy the house

triggers defused!

well ya’ll will be happy to know, I am no longer feeling triggered. Big sigh!
So thrilled, mostly I managed to defuse it on my own.
I watched tv, and later in the evening I took a hot shower.
I washed with my fave soap and glory shower gel, it smells soooo good!
It grounded me. I felt so much better after the shower.
Nothing like a hot shower to soothe your soul.
I cuddled with nitro, I read the blogs of some of you, I still have a lot to catch up on but I am slowly getting through the posts.
Its almost 1 AM. I doubt I sleep tonight. I think I got way too much sleep this weekend. I slept a lot. Its ok though if I don’t sleep tonight. I wont worry about it.
Tomorrow is an easyish day. I do need to go volunteering though. I’ll get there though. I’ll manage even if I don’t sleep much tonight.
Just happy I defused the triggers on my own.



so without going into to much detail, something has just really triggered me.
I’m trying to ignore the trigger. I’ve turned on Irelands got talent and am watching that. Trying to stay distracted.
Not sure its really working but I’m trying at least.
My thoughts are a bit all over the place though. Moods going haywire. Up and down and all around.
I just hope this doesn’t last too long. Damn triggers. I hate them.


3 days, 3 quotes challenge, day 1

Thanks to Ashley over at
For the nomination to do this wonderful challenge.

My first quote for this challenge is:

Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.

Tori Amos

I love this quote, and I love tori too!
She is an amazing activist and musician.

If you would like to do this then I nominate all of you to participate in this awesome challenge to post one quote a day on your blog for 3 consequtive days!


Monday goals

Goals for today Monday are:

Eat 3 healthy meals
Exercise for 20 minutes on the treadmill
Watch some tv
Take meds
Tidy the house


Bank holiday Monday

well its here. bank holiday Monday.
I had a rough nights sleep. nitro woke me at 3:30 wanting to go out. so I got up, let him out, and then went back to bed and tried to go back to sleep. I didn’t succeed though.
then at 4:30 my mom got up. she said she couldn’t sleep, that the steroids she’s on were making her feel wired. So she got up for the day. Now she says she is exhausted already and its not even noon yet.
I eventually went back to sleep for a while, but not very long.
I’m now up and have had breakfast. Going home to my own house in about an hour. Moms coming with me for the afternoon.
No plans for today other than to get on the treadmill for a half hour.
My headcold is mostly gone, in the mornings when I wake up I’m a little bit stuffed up but nothing much really.
I’m going to enjoy the rest of today, because tomorrow I’ll be busy again, even though I have a week off from the ILS course.
Happy Monday, everyone!