Mentoring apt this morning

I am seeing my mentor this morning. Its good to have that extra bit of support. I am not sure what our apt will be about yet. What we’ll discuss during it I mean. I am just going to go in with no agenda and see what happens.

I really like my mentor. She’s really nice. She’s very open about her own struggles with mental illness too which is nice as it means I can relate to her better. I am glad she’s not afraid to talk to me about her own history. That allows us to bond more I think.

I hope our apt today is good but I am pretty sure it will be.


Meeting my resource worker for the blind

I was meant to go in and meet my resource worker tomorrow. She works for NCBI the blindness organisation here where I live. She’s new, and she wanted to meet me to chat and get to know me a little bit.

I was also meant to start a course tomorrow, a back to work initiative, also run by the local blindness organisation. However the date for starting got put back a few weeks. So that meant I had to reschedule my appointment to meet my resource worker.

I emailed her, and she never emailed me back, so today I rang the office. I left a message, and she emailed me to reschedule. We’ve rearranged the apt for next week.

I am wondering what it will entail. I hope she’s nice. I spoke to her on the phone previously, but I’ve never met her. This will be my first time to meet her.


Gone to work early

I’m in the office right now. I had to go in early. My supervisor rang, she’s short staffed so she asked me if I could come in as soon as I was free.
I had my PA here from 9 AM until 11:30. However I let her go a bit early, so that I would be able to go in to work that little bit earlier. I got a taxi in because my supervisor was on her own in the office. She wasn’t able to leave the office. So she told me to get a taxi in and put it on their account.
We’re very busy. I just took a small break to write this post.
My PA cleaned my house, she did a fine job on it. She did a lot of things. Including changing my bed, mopping my floors, vacumeing, washing dishes, etc.
I am happy I got all that done. She turned out to be a really good relief PA.
Now I’d better get back to work. I am feeling tired, since I didn’t sleep good last night. I am going to have a cup of tea to wake me up. I would drink coffee, but I think I’ve had more than enough caffine today already.

Happy pills

Well its time to go take my happy pills!
I am proud because I remembered! Well sorta!
Only after reading a blog post from someone where they mentioned taking their meds did I remember mine!
So not really on my own but oh well. I will go take them and hope they start helping soon.
Mom has been on to me about my eyes being closed, after I take the morning meds. She says its due to the meds. I am not so sure. I think most blind people go around with their eyes half shut most of the time. Do you agree?
Have you ever seen a blind person and their eyes are closed or almost closed when they are talking to you?
I dont think its anything to do with the meds! Maybe it is, but I have my doubts.
Anyway! Off to take the morning meds now!


I thank you all

I want to thank you all. For your comments, likes, and support. I dont know where I’d be without you all! This blog is a dumping ground for me, as well as being a place where I post things like quotes, recipes etc, its also a place where I post my darkest thoughts, my inner most feelings, my therapy journey, my daily life updates. Its a venting ground for me, and all of you my dear readers have been so so supportive of me. I can never thank you enough. I hope you gain as much from reading my blog as I do from writing. I am honoured to call you my friends. Your all fab! Thanks again for everything, from the bottom of my heart.
carol anne



I am feeling very alone tonight. Its 1:30 AM. I cant sleep. I am alone here in the house as I live on my own. I wish someone was here to talk to. I feel lonely and overwhelmed and so very alone.
I have the radio on for company. I was cold so I put on my heating. I made a coffee as I am not going to sleep. I tried reading, it didnt help. I tried settling down after reading, I couldnt. I just feel wired.
This sucks. If anyone is around, send me a hug or some support please.
I could really use it.


Not doing well

I am not doing good tonight. I feel really low. I feel awful and just want to crumble.
I’ve been super down all evening. I am about to take my night meds. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. I am taking naps when I can as its the only sleep I get. I forgot to bring my Haldol to my parents house so I don’t even have that to fall back on to help me sleep.
I am a mess. I feel like crying. I feel like it but the tears wont come. I just am beginning to feel numb. Dissociated. Numbness and dissociation really suck.
If anyones around could use an ear or a friend to talk to.