Morning ramble!

good morning
Happy wednesday! I am so glad its wednesday! half the week is over, yay!
How are you all doing?
I am doing very well! I slept well which was awesome! I am so glad I slept well last night! I was in bed last night by 10 PM and asleep by 10:30. I got a good solid 5 or six hours!
this morning I go see dr. barry! I am so looking forward to our appointment. I love seeing her, as we always talk about a lot. Today will be no exception. I need to tell her that Eileens home. I also need to tell her my sleep is a bit better. And I also need to talk to her about the prazosin, I have to come off of it since the wholesale supplier isnt supplying it any longer. I hope she can find an alternative for me.
I also need to get my trevicta shot from the clinic nurse. I cant believe its been 3 months already since I got my last one!
I hope the wait before I see dr. barry wont be too long. I hate all the waiting. I get so bored. Maybe I’ll bring a book and read that. Or go on my phone and go on facebook or something.
After my apt with dr. barry moms coming over to my place for an hour, she’s going to cut my grass, and she’s going to clean up the dog poop in my yard. My sisters going to drop her off on her way to work. I’ll probably just have lunch while she’s doing those things.
Then this evening at 5:30 my Pa comes. We’re going to walk Nitro. I’ll probably do the same walk that I did last week. That takes an hour to complete. Its a nice walk. Weather permitting of course. I hope the weather stays good so we can get out. I enjoy the walking and we talk as we walk which is nice. Nitro needs the exercise and so do I! It keeps me fit!
So thats my day in a nutshell! What does your day look like? Have you anything planned?


A busy friday ahead!

I slept for a long time! I was just totally shattered!
I slept for the entire afternoon and evening yesterday! I only woke up to let nitro out and eat some fruit! Other than those few minutes I slept like a log!
I finally woke at 2 AM! And am up now for the day!
I am going to take a nice hot shower soon. I feel icky! I hate feeling so gross so a shower will be good!
My PA comes at 9 AM! We arent going out though. We’ll just do housework. I have a kinda busy day ahead of me today though
I am going to mom and dads for the weekend, like I normally do. But I am going to get my nails done today. I am getting shilac on them!
Mom is taking me! I am also getting waxing done. I am getting my lip, eyebrows and chin waxed!
I am also having a colour put in my hair, moms going to put it in for me!
So with all that the day will probably fly by!


Relaxing at home today

I am having a quiet day at home. I am glad for the rest. I didnt go to bed until after 5 AM, I wanted to be asleep, but it just wasnt coming. So at around 3:30 I lay down, but I didnt fall asleep until well after 5 AM. I slept until around 8:30, then I got up and fed nitro, had a cup of tea and decided to go back to bed for a while longer. I was able to get another 2 hours of sleep which was nice. The phone woke me. It was the nurse who gives me my 3 monthly shot, apparently I was due to get it today but I forgot about it. It was fine though, I can get it next week. I cant believe I forgot about it. Mom came over to my house for about an hour. She cleaned up the dog poop, and did a few other bits for me. It was nice to see her. I had my lunch while she was here. Now I’m feeling tired again, not sure why that is. My PA will be here at 5:30 this evening. We’re going to take Nitro out for a long walk. He needs a good run. He hasnt been getting much exercise lately so it will be good for him to go out for a long walk. I might take another nap before she arrives. I feel like I need one.


Update on weight related matters

So I went to my new slimming world group tonight! It was great! As I said in a previous post, my consultant is away, so we had a fill in one tonight. She was lovely!

When I got there the taxi driver brought me in, and he went in to ask someone to come out and assist me, which they did. They werent opened yet, but as soon as they found out I was there, they brought me in to the room where the weigh in and meetins would be held.

I decided that I’d restart my membership, so basically, I am starting over, as if I have never been before. I wanted to do that, since its a new group, start fresh, you know? So they said that would be fine, and I got weighed in.

I now weigh 14 stone 12 pounds! For my US readers, I weigh 208 pounds! I know I am starting over, but when I first joined slimming world over a year ago, I weighed 231 pounds, or 16 stone 7 pounds. So anyway, now I am starting at a weight of 14 stone 12, 208 pounds. And I will go from there.

I am very happy with that weight. I am right on plan now. I set my target at 9 stone, thats 126 pounds, so thats the weight I’d like to be at when I get to target. I know its going to take a while to get there, but I have time! I dont mind waiting! I will go slow so that I will get there!

So this is my very first week now! I came home, ate dinner, and then I went on the treadmill for 30 minutes. So I got my exercise in for the day! I feel great!

So thats the update! Thanks for all of the supportive comments and good wishes. I will keep you all posted as to how I do as the weeks go on!
I got this! I can do it!


Finally, she called!

I just had a phone call from my CPN Alison. She’s not my usual CPN, but my usual one Sarah is away on holidays so Alison is covering for her.


I don’t know Alison all that well. So it was hard to engage with her. But I tried. I get brownie points for trying, right? Lol.


Anyway. We mainly talked about my mood, sleep, and about Eileen being away, and she asked me if I was still E THAT OPTION> It is handy to be able to contact a nurse if things were to get really bad or if I felt very low.


Alison was actually meant to call me last week, but she didn’t, and I’d all but given up hope that she was going to call me. But she did, it was a nice surprise this morning.  I will have to text eileen now to tell her that she actually has called me after all.


I am glad I have the support of a CPN. I feel lucky to have that support, because I know some people don’t.  I am grateful for the call and check in today.

Seeing Dr. Barry

i saw dr. barry yesterday. we had a good apt. it was productive. we talked about the fact that eileen is still out of the country. we discussed how incredibly caring eileen is, to have rang dr. barry and put support in place for me. dr. barry said in a crisis, eileen is incredible. i agree, she is. dr. barry asked about my sleep. i told her things are still bad with that. we talked about meds, and she encouraged me to take the fenergan every night for the next 2 weeks. she said we need to get things back on track, or otherwise I am going to be very ill. i told her I am afraid of the med, because I dont like the grogginess from it.  she said something about my body needing sleep, and when it gets some, it needs more, and so that might be why the grogginess feels so bad. she said it probably wouldnt last. i said i’d try to take the fenergan every night for the next two weeks. i’m not starting tonight though. i’m starting tomorrow night. she told me to take it an hour before i sleep. and then I should try to wind down, do my bedtime routine, so i will try it and see what happens.  she didnt increase my prazosin, she said she wanted to wait and see if we could get my sleep right again before increasing it.  we talked about me talking with alison, the other cpn on her team, while sarah is on holiday. she said she thinks its really positive that I am widening my support network. she said its important, and its positive that I am allowing others in. allowing people who I dont know to help me and support me. I told her I find change really hard, and since eileens been away there has been a lot of change. she agreed but she said I am doing really well with all of it. she’ll be going on holidays for a week at the end of august, so we discussed that as well. i think its the week that I normally wouldnt see her, so I dont think I am going to be effected by her vacation, at least not in the way I’ll miss an apt with her. I will however miss her of course, and I feel scared about her being away. I am hopeful eileen will be home by that time. I am praying hard that she will be.  I made another apt to come back to see dr. barry in two weeks time. oh yeah. i did tell her about getting my period again after so long. she encouraged me to ring my gp back and ask to speak with him. she said he may want to do a smear test, or an internal examination. another thing to freak out about. I hate internal exams, especially vaginal ones. I hope that wont have to happen, but I will ring him again and ask to speak with him. Dr. barry said its best to get it checked out, I think she’s right, it is.


it sits
it flourishes
i cling to it
I hope I’ll be ok
I hope for a better tomorrow
I hope my anxiety will disapate soon
I hope for so many things
It is a constant
My only consolation
My only hope
Is that
I will survive the night
I will see the night through
And have peace
Sleep will come
wrap me in its soft embrace
For that
I hope
If I cant sleep
then I will write
I always have my writing
as just like hope
My writing
My blog
is my constant
my support system
my blog gives me hope