so i got about 3 hours of sleep. I am so tired this morning. I did not wanna get up! I tore myself out of bed at around 8 AM. I have to leave at 9:15, I’m going to the beauticians to have my nails soaked off and get my lip and eyebrows waxed. I’m meeting my Pa down there. Then once we’re done we’ll come back to my house and she’ll do some housework. I am glad I got a little sleep, but it certainly wasnt enough. I work today so somehow I’m going to have to stay functional. I did wake up feeling good though, tired, but good. So thats something at least.
So my anxiety is still high! I ended up staying at home again today and not going in to work. I felt bad but I need to take care of my mental health. I wasnt going to slimming world either, but I changed my mind at the last minute. The fact I’d have to still pay for this week even if I missed it spurred me on and made me think twice about not going in. I slept for half the day. I couldnt get up. I just dozed all morning and into the afternoon. That made me feel crappy, I felt like I was being lazy. I do feel a little better though, now that I’ve napped a lot today. I am less cranky, less tired, more energised, and in a good mood. As I said, the anxietys still there though. Right now I am so thankful I will see Eileen in the morning. That session wont come quick enough. My friend Norma whose blind and lives near me, she went to school in dublin with me, she’s a few years younger than I am, but she’s looking for a therapist and she asked me to ask eileen if she knows someone whose reasonably priced. So I asked eileen and she got back to me tonight and told me to leave it with her and she’d think about who to send her to. Norma is ringing me a lot though and being quite needy, and its stressing me out to no end. I dont want to seem mean and tell her to stop calling me, but I may have to. She rang me twice tonight already and she said she’d call me tomorrow at lunch time, so I told her she could, but if I couldnt talk then I’d ring her back when I am able to talk. I dont want to seem unsupportive. But well I can only take so much. I see Dr. barry as well tomorrow. In the afternoon. I am glad about that. Its been 5 weeks since I have seen her, the longest we’ve ever gone without an appointment since 2013. I am feeling the effects of not seeing her now too, so am glad we finally have an apt tomorrow. I need to wish her a happy anniversary, this month marks our six year anniversary of working together. I cant actually believe we’ve been seeing dr. barry for that long. It sure doesnt seem like it. Those six years of working with Dr. barry have been the best years of our life, mental health wise we’ve done much better while seeing her than we did with previous psychiatrists. So its all good. I will wish her a happy anniversary and I’m sure she’ll be all surprised about it that we’ve been working together for so long, things like our anniversaries mean a lot to her. She did tell me recently that she only started working as a consultant six months before she started working with me, she only moved to the job in the may of 2013, and we started working together in the november of that year. Now that I’ve slept for most of the day, I’ll probably be up for the whole night. I am planning on facetiming sarah in a little while. Once she wakes from her nap. I am looking forward to chatting to her. I bet we talk more about the trip next year and what we plan to do during it. Or more likely what we plan to eat hahaha. We like to talk about the kinds of food we’ll eat on the trip. I hope the anxiety lessens soon. I hate anxiety, its horrific. I wish it didnt exist. I’d be happy if it just fucked off and left me alone.
so I made a new email group. its a kinda announcement updates list for me to post things to all of my friends all at once.
I’d love it if you’d be part of it!
If you’d like to be a part of it then please send me a comment with your email address in it and I’ll send an invite to you.
I’d like to get all of my contacts on to the group, that way when I post I will only have to post to one place.
dont worry, the blog is not going anywhere. this is just another way for me to post things to all of you all in one go!
so do let me know if you’d like an invite!
Can someone sit with me?
Tell me I’m ok?
That I’m not crazy?
I feel so crazy
I need a friend
Someone to lean on
Someone to just sit
Quietly and be here for me
When I am unable
To be here for myself
Tomorrow morning will be a busy one for me. My PA Frances is coming to moms house at 8:40 to pick me up. She’ll take me to my gp’s where surgery the practice nurse will take bloods from me. They are routine bloods, I get them done once a year. I am hoping they’ll be fine, and that nothing is amiss with them. I wont know the results for a few days though. It will probably be early next week before I’ll have any results.
After that I am going to the beauticians to get waxing done and I will also get my nails done. My nails are currently done, so I need to get the nail polish soaked off before some new shilac can be applied. I dont know what color I want. I’ll ask the girl doing them for her advice. I’m sure she’ll tell me what looks good or whats popular right now color wise.
I also need to get a few groceries, but I think when I am getting my nails done, I’ll ask my PA Frances to go get the bits I need, to save time.
My PA Frances just left! She got a lot done around the house today! In two hours, she did loads! I am very pleased!
We got the vacuming done, mopped the floors, did dishes, did some dusting, she also went to the store for me to pick up a few things!
I was only up about 10 minutes when she arrived! I just couldnt get out of bed today! I was exhausted! I had to get up in the middle of the night to let Nitro out, and I woke at 6 this morning, but couldnt face getting up so went back to sleep again!
Now I’m heading off to work, waiting to be picked up and will work for about 3 or 4 hours!
Looking forward to my shift, as I didnt go in yesterday. However I will work on Thursday this week, to fill in for some people who are out sick!
I’m taking Friday afternoon off, as I have to go get my nails done!
I’ll be on again later so will catch up with you all then!
Adios for a while!
So my PA Frances said she’d pick up my prescription for me. Kind of her, as it was not part of her job, she was doing it on her own time.
So on Tuesday morning, when I went to get my flu shot, we handed it in to my GP. The receptionist took it, and told me it would be ready for pick up on thursday.
Thursday came, my PA went to pick it up, and was told, sorry we dont have it. Are you sure you dropped it off? To which she said yes, she dropped it off, I know because I was with her when she did it.
After much looking, it was found, but the receptionist then said, Oh, well, come back tomorrow, it will be ready then!
So my PA asked, are you sure it will be ready if I come back tomorrow? And the receptionist got snotty and said, I hope so!
And would you believe it, when Frances went down there today, it still wasnt ready! She had to wait for it, and she was late to work because of their carelessness!
I felt so bad that she was late to work and all because of doing a kind thing for me!
Anyway, in the end, I got my meds! Thank god!
Never knew it would be such a fiasco though to get them!