Mentoring apt this morning

I am seeing my mentor this morning. Its good to have that extra bit of support. I am not sure what our apt will be about yet. What we’ll discuss during it I mean. I am just going to go in with no agenda and see what happens.

I really like my mentor. She’s really nice. She’s very open about her own struggles with mental illness too which is nice as it means I can relate to her better. I am glad she’s not afraid to talk to me about her own history. That allows us to bond more I think.

I hope our apt today is good but I am pretty sure it will be.

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Meeting my resource worker for the blind

I was meant to go in and meet my resource worker tomorrow. She works for NCBI the blindness organisation here where I live. She’s new, and she wanted to meet me to chat and get to know me a little bit.

I was also meant to start a course tomorrow, a back to work initiative, also run by the local blindness organisation. However the date for starting got put back a few weeks. So that meant I had to reschedule my appointment to meet my resource worker.

I emailed her, and she never emailed me back, so today I rang the office. I left a message, and she emailed me to reschedule. We’ve rearranged the apt for next week.

I am wondering what it will entail. I hope she’s nice. I spoke to her on the phone previously, but I’ve never met her. This will be my first time to meet her.

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Gone to work early

I’m in the office right now. I had to go in early. My supervisor rang, she’s short staffed so she asked me if I could come in as soon as I was free.
I had my PA here from 9 AM until 11:30. However I let her go a bit early, so that I would be able to go in to work that little bit earlier. I got a taxi in because my supervisor was on her own in the office. She wasn’t able to leave the office. So she told me to get a taxi in and put it on their account.
We’re very busy. I just took a small break to write this post.
My PA cleaned my house, she did a fine job on it. She did a lot of things. Including changing my bed, mopping my floors, vacumeing, washing dishes, etc.
I am happy I got all that done. She turned out to be a really good relief PA.
Now I’d better get back to work. I am feeling tired, since I didn’t sleep good last night. I am going to have a cup of tea to wake me up. I would drink coffee, but I think I’ve had more than enough caffine today already.

Happy pills

Well its time to go take my happy pills!
I am proud because I remembered! Well sorta!
Only after reading a blog post from someone where they mentioned taking their meds did I remember mine!
So not really on my own but oh well. I will go take them and hope they start helping soon.
Mom has been on to me about my eyes being closed, after I take the morning meds. She says its due to the meds. I am not so sure. I think most blind people go around with their eyes half shut most of the time. Do you agree?
Have you ever seen a blind person and their eyes are closed or almost closed when they are talking to you?
I dont think its anything to do with the meds! Maybe it is, but I have my doubts.
Anyway! Off to take the morning meds now!

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I thank you all

I want to thank you all. For your comments, likes, and support. I dont know where I’d be without you all! This blog is a dumping ground for me, as well as being a place where I post things like quotes, recipes etc, its also a place where I post my darkest thoughts, my inner most feelings, my therapy journey, my daily life updates. Its a venting ground for me, and all of you my dear readers have been so so supportive of me. I can never thank you enough. I hope you gain as much from reading my blog as I do from writing. I am honoured to call you my friends. Your all fab! Thanks again for everything, from the bottom of my heart.
carol anne

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Lonely

I am feeling very alone tonight. Its 1:30 AM. I cant sleep. I am alone here in the house as I live on my own. I wish someone was here to talk to. I feel lonely and overwhelmed and so very alone.
I have the radio on for company. I was cold so I put on my heating. I made a coffee as I am not going to sleep. I tried reading, it didnt help. I tried settling down after reading, I couldnt. I just feel wired.
This sucks. If anyone is around, send me a hug or some support please.
I could really use it.

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Not doing well

I am not doing good tonight. I feel really low. I feel awful and just want to crumble.
I’ve been super down all evening. I am about to take my night meds. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. I am taking naps when I can as its the only sleep I get. I forgot to bring my Haldol to my parents house so I don’t even have that to fall back on to help me sleep.
I am a mess. I feel like crying. I feel like it but the tears wont come. I just am beginning to feel numb. Dissociated. Numbness and dissociation really suck.
If anyones around could use an ear or a friend to talk to.