Found out

Just got back from therapy. I found out that it was Eileens husband who got ill while she was away. It was serious, he got very ill. He’s on the mend now though. They got home last week he got transferred to a hospital here in Cork. They were taken home from Spain by ear ambulance. I need said that was a really daunting experience, I am Arjun it would have been. It was a shock to find out that it was her husband. I’ve spoken to him a few times on the phone before. He’s a very nice man. Just to know that it was someone so close to her who got sick, that was shocking. It’s good to know he’s going to be okay. She is taking another few weeks off work but she will continue to see us. She’s also taking a break from college she lectures at college she’s taking a break for a few weeks while he recovers. It was so good to see her today. Such a relief to have her home. Missed her like crazy really really missed her a lot.

Therapys resuming on monday yay!

Eileen is home! She rang me this morning! She’s finally home! Yay! I am sooo thrilled!
We’re having a session on Monday at 10! I am delighted! Its so good to have her home!
She only got home at the end of this week! Things can go back to normal now yay!
Normal service can resume!
This good news has made my weekend! 😀
I am on cloud 9 to have her back home!

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check in with Eileen

So finally we got to check in with Eileen!
She’s in good spirits!
She said she still doesn’t know when she’ll be home though! She’s waiting on her relative to be transferred to a hospital in cork. They are waiting on a bed. So far though there are no beds in the hospitals here. So its just a waiting game now!
She said as soon as she knows more she’ll text me!
We arranged to have another phone check in next weekend! In the meantime if she gets home sooner than that she’s going to text me to let me know!
We talked about how we’ve been, and she was able to reassure the kids that she’s committed to our work together, she told us to try not to worry about her and about our sessions, that she is coming back and we will definitely continue our work together!
I am so glad to know that!
It was reassuring to talk to her!
I’m glad we did.

Everything feels so surreal

I’m in a little bit of a dissociative bubble right now.  Everything feels surreal. I don’t really feel ok. I had my PA here a while ago, and we walked nitro. That was nice, although I dissociated a lot on our walk.  I tried hard to conversate with my PA to stop the dissociation. I feel as if I am floating.  I don’t really feel real.  My body feels foreign.  Its just a really surreal feeling.  When I came home from my walk with nitro, I had to lie down for a while.  I even slept for an hour. Bad move I know as now I wont sleep tonight.  But I was exhausted and the more I tried to keep my eyes open the more tired I became.  I’m also still feeling really anxious.  Its a horrible feeling of dread, mixed with crippling fear and a little agitation and worry also.  I hate anxiety.  I’m just so ready for the anxiety to go away now.  Any time now, please, anxiety.  I’m done with you.  I’m planning on staying home tomorrow.  I was meant to have a mentoring apt. But I am going to cancel it.  I feel like I need the day off.  I need to be able to just relax, and breathe.  I’m still worrying a lot about Eileen, come home. I know that’s selfish of me, but I miss her so much.  I hope she’ll be home soon.  We’re really struggling without her here.  Tomorrow our CPN Alison whose covering this week for sarah, will call us.  I’m also anxious about that.  I know her, but I don’t know her really well.  It will be hard to talk to her and tell her how I’m doing. I will do it though.  I said I try. So I will.  I’m just an anxious mess at the moment.  The quicker the surreal feeling of floatiness leaves the better.

 

FOWC with Fandango — Surreal

A surprise phone call

A weird thing happened today. I was napping and my phone rang. It was my landline, that is unusual, most people phone my mobile.

I answered it, and a lady from the organisation that funds my therapy was on the line. She told me she was phoning me to check in.

Eileen had to tell them that we hadn’t been doing any therapy for a few weeks because of her being stuck in spain. So they were ringing me to make sure I was ok, and that I wasn’t struggling.

I got a big surprise as I wasn’t expecting that. She told me that they have a helpline I can ring if I am struggling and need extra support. I knew about their helpline but I never thought to call it.

Its good to know I have that option. I am glad to know its there.

We talked for about 15 minutes. Just about everyday things, like the weather, tv, dogs, not serious things. I felt much better after our chat. The ladys name was margo. She was extremely nice.

She said she’d phone again next week, and she’d continue to phone until I started back to therapy with Eileen.

I think Tuesday will be busy

I’m wide awake. I have my PA coming this morning. The relief PA is still with me. There is no news on whether my old PA will be coming back. I like the relief one though. If my old one doesn’t come back, I wont mind. I’m used to the relief one now. We get along just fine. So to be honest I don’t mind if she doesn’t come back.
She’ll be here at 9 this morning. We’ll have a busy 2.5 hours. I need to go grocery shopping. That will probably take up most of the time. I don’t have a lot to buy, but its the getting to the store and back again, that takes up so much time. My PA doesn’t drive, so we have to take a taxi to get there. I need to buy a lot of fruit. And some meat and a few other bits. When we get back to my house, if there is time I’ll have her vacume and mop the floors.
I’m supposed to work today as well. However I’m not sure if I’ll go in. I am kinda feeling off. I feel kinda down at the moment. My mood feels very low. I guess I should wait and see, see if my mood picks up in the next few hours. If it doesn’t then I will skip work today. I don’t think its fair of me to go in when I am not in top form.
I heard from Eileen last night. I texted her at around 7 PM. She texted me back at around 8:30. She said she’s still in spain, but there is a chance she’ll be home this week. She said she’d be in touch as soon as she knows more. I told her that was fine, and I told her to take care and stay safe. I was glad to hear from her. It was comforting.
Now to just shake this apathy I am feeling. Its horrible. I am just not feeling good at the moment. I think I’ll go make a hot drink. It looks like I’ve gotten as much sleep as I am going to get tonight. I’ll probably be up for the day now. So I think I’ll go make coffee.

Friday chatter!

I am so thankful its friday!
I got up very early. I had a fantastic nights sleep. I am also so thankful for that fact. I was up at 6:30, and I hopped in the shower! I felt so good after my shower! Its a warm day here, and it just felt so good to wake up and get in the shower right away!
I’ve had a nice chilled morning, its been relaxing. I ate breakfast, was online for a while, and am now drinking some coffee, before I get ready for work!
I’m also waiting for my meds to be delivered. My dads gone out for a while, and I am here with the dogs, but I think my dad will be back before I have to go to work.
I’m looking forward to going in to work today. I didnt go in on tuesday, so I am really looking forward to going in today. I’m glad I skipped it on tuesday, I just wasnt in a place emotionally to go in, so the easiest thing was to not go, and take care of my own mental health.
Now that I’ve done that, I will be able to be more available to my clients.
Eileen texted me last night, she’s still stuck out in spain. She doesnt know when she’s going to be coming home, she said she’d keep me updated, wich I am thankful for.

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