One of eileens family members might have coronavirus

so we were meant to have therapy this morning, at 9:40, 20 minutes before we were due to start our session my phone rang. It was eileen. I was in the kitchen and my phone was in the bedroom, as soon as I heard her name spoken I ran to pick it up. She told me that she’d have to cancel our session. Someone in her family had to go get tested for coronavirus, it wasnt her, she didnt tell me who it was, but she said she had to take them. I dont know if it was her husband, her son, or who it was. She said we’d reschedule for this evening, and that she’d text me later on. I told her that that was fine, and not to worry about me, I am fine, and to go do what she needed to do. She thanked me and promised to get back to me later in the morning. And true to her word she did about 2 hours later she texted me and we rearranged for tonight, and I’ve just had my session I had it at 6:30 this evening. She said she didnt think her family member is going to test positive, but they’ve had some of the symptoms so it was best to get them tested just to be sure. But she told me not to worry that she thinks its all going to turn out ok. Of course I am still worrying. I dont want Eileen to get sick. I do hope that her family member doesnt have coronavirus. Please pray if you do pray. I am glad we still got to have a session. She told me that actually after canceling our session she got a text cancelling the test until 3 Pm today so she could have actually done our morning session. We laughed about it then saying after all that and she could have done it. I just hope everything will be ok. I’m praying hard. My anxietys up again but we worked on it in our session. It was good, and I do feel less anxious now. I feel solid, grounded, calmer. I am so glad I got to connect with eileen. She makes me feel amazing and she has such a calming presence. I am thankful for her every day.

FROM LIZ, IN A BIT OF A MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS!

WE ARE IN A MAJOR MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS! I AM IN SO MUCH TURMOIL! I STARTED FREAKING OUT EARLIER, AND I CANT CALM DOWN. I AM SOOO ANXIOUS. I HAVE HAD MEMORIES AND FLASHBACKS GOING ON FOR HOURS NOW. WE’VE BEEN SWITCHING LIKE CRAZY, I’VE JUST COME OUT LONG ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN TO WRITE THIS NOW. BEFORE THIS KIDS WERE ALL CRYING AND FREAKING OUT, TRIGGERFEST, WHAT A FUCKING MESS! WE ARE HAVING URGES TO SELF HARM, AND FEELING LIKE WE SHOULD JUST END IT. WE FEEL SO SO UNWELL AND VERY UNSTABLE. THINK I SHOULD TEXT EILEEN BUT DUNNO IF I CAN? AFRAID TO? JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA BOTHER HER? LIKE CAUSE WE ONLY SAW HER YANNO TODAY? AND MAYBE SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE BOTHERED? I NEED TO PUT MY FEARS ASIDE AND JUST TEXT HER! OMG GUYS I AM IN SUCH A MESS. I’M LITERALLY SHAKING FROM HEAD TO TOE! I CANT EVEN PUT WORDS TO THE MEMORIES. THEY’RE ALL JUMBLED SNIPPETS, NOTHINGS CLEAR. ALL I GET ARE GLIMPSES, BUT WHEN I TRY TO PIECE IT TOGETHER I CANT. MY ANXIETYS THROUGH THE ROOF! I AM SO, SO ANXIOUS. I AM ANCI AND JITTERY, AND CANT SIT STILL FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES! HELP SOMEONE HELP ANYONE I NEED SOMEONE! I AM NOT OK!
LIZ

Virus-free. www.avg.com

AH DAMNIT, FUCKING INSOMNIA AGAIN!

ITS ALMOST 10:30 AND I WISH I COULD SLEEP. BEEN UP SINCE 7 THIS MORNING, YOUD THINK I’D BE SLEEPING OR HEADING THAT WAY BY NOW. NO SUCH LUCK. INSTEAD I AM SITTING HERE TEARING MY HAIR OUT AND DRINKING TEA, AND BEFORE ANYONE RIPS INTO ME ABOUT CAFFEINE, I HAVE TO DRINK IT. IT CALMS ME. AT LEAST ITS NOT COFFEE RIGHT? IS THERE MORE CAFFEINE IN COFFEE THAN IN TEA? I DUNNO. FUCK IT I SAY. I NEED A BREAK FROM MY RACING THOUGHTS. I’M JEALOUS OF NITRO, HE’S SNORING SOUNDLY AT MY FEET. IT REALLY IS A DOGS LIFE. ANXIETYS A FUCKING BITCH. MINE IS REALLY HIGH TONIGHT. THIS TIME OF YEAR REALLY SUCKS FOR US. THE MONTH LEADING UP TO OUR BIRTHDAY AND EASTER IS ALWAYS HARD. SO MANY MEMORIES COMING UP FROM THE PAST. SO MANY TRIGGERS. ITS HORRIBLE. I HATE IT. NO WONDER I CANT SLEEP…TOO MUCH SHIT ON MY MIND. WELL, SINCE IM NOT SLEEPING, I HAVE TIME TO READ ALL THE AWESOME BLOGS I FOLLOW. LOVING ALL OF YA AWESOME PEOPLE! YOUR ALL SO SUPPORTIVE, AND I AM SO APPRECIATIVE. WHO ELSE FINDS IT HARD LATELY TO SLEEP? ANYONE? THERE’S GOTTA BE SOMEONE? I CANT DO THIS ALONE.
LIZ

Virus-free. www.avg.com