so i’ve emailed the people who provide my PA service this morning. I was clear in the email about what I need in a PA going forward.
The person in the office said they’d try their best to get me someone that will suit my needs. Kristen finishes with me on Thursday. I dont want to be without a PA but I fear I may be without someone for a couple of weeks.
I told the office I need someone who can provide a driving service if that is possible. Otherwise it will get expensive paying for taxi’s to and from the grocery store. Yes we pay the PA for gas but what we pay the PA is minimal compared to the expense of getting a taxi.
So we shall see. Only time will tell if I get someone who drives or not.
I really am hoping for a good match. Who I get is important to me. Its important I can relate to them and I am able to get along with them. Their personality traits are important to me.
its elane i five
i was fraid of strom
i hate them
thay mak me so skard
i not lik rain and wind
or funder but ther waas no funder
jus wind and rain
and we hid frum it
but carol anne maked us chiken nugets
and onion rings
amy wanted onion rings
she is so funy she loves them
i lov chiken nugets wif tamato katchup
yaah thats yumy
so i ate dem wif darina and lexi and taylor and erika
now i snugled up uner a blanket
it a horse blanket
carol anne has tha radio on
and we hav ar laptop and we ar warm and cosey
well it started at around 8 AM. and now its definitely upon us. the winds are whipping up and the rain is coming down hard! nitro is very nervous! to be honest so am I! I’m not good with storms and neither are most of the kids!
we are staying safely indoors. no going out for us. everywhere is closed! well practically everywhere. our country cannot handle storms!
The weather warning is in force until 9 PM tonight. so we have a long day yet to go.
My heart beats fast
I am sucked into the past
I kick, I scream
To no avail
I cant get away from it
I just have to sit with it
It threatens to pull me under
I fight to get back on even ground again
I count to 10
As i exhale
Breathe, I tell myself
Constantly reminding myself its over
I’m not back there
Here in my house
with my dog
My stuff all around me
I am free
In the free world
and its 2017
so i only have one week to go before we start the independent living skills course. with each day that passes i get more and more excited. this is a great opportunity. not only do i gain skills but i am in a supported environment with other disabled people and staff to help me. this is great and i think we will really benefit from being there. i know the staff arent trained in handling mental health difficulties, but they do know we have did and ptsd, and they are ok with it. we can tell them things like that we feel anxious, etc. we dont have to tell them the full extent of things if we get triggered, so as not to freak them out completely. im hoping though we dont get triggered too often. there are two other people there who have mental illnesses as well. both of them are in wheelchairs. i know they struggle because they both told me. i’ve been preparing for going, getting laundry ready, fixing up my house etc. the great thing is they have transportation there, so it means i will be able to keep my apt to see dr. barry because they will take me there. I will also be able to continue my volunteering as well as part of the course. I was delighted about that. I didnt want to give up volunteering! so yeah just so excited. there is also a nervous anxiousness running through my body!
i be sad and skard
i not be like this nite
i cant go sleep and it dark
and i not like the dark
it scares me so much
den i tink bad thots
i hate that
i don wan tink bad thots
i want ta go ta sleep soon
i hope i can
mabe tomoro i be hapy
tay tay i six
i cant quite believe next week will be my last week with my current pa kristen. we’ve worked together for a year and a half.
it will be sad to lose her. she is a really nice person. i’m nervous about who will replace her, will i like them, etc.
we shall see i guess. only time will tell.
change is hard. i dont much like it.
oh well, i will just enjoy the last couple of days with kristen. we’re still gonna keep in touch on facebook, and we’ll still meet up for coffee and stuff like that.