busy day ahead

today I am going to be busy!
I havent slept tonight. probably becausei slept for hours yesterday after therapy. i cant expect to sleep at night if I am sleeping in the day. but it was ok, i did email, read, and listened to music while I wasnt sleeping.
this morning I have an apt to get my 3 monthly shot. its my trevicta shot. for those who dont know trevicta is invega an antipsychotic, but in a 3 monthly shot, I used to take a monthly shot until dr. barry said this would work better. and it has. I’ve had no side effects from it and I especially like that there is no weight gain on it.
so I have to go do that. It wont take me very long. I’m going to get a taxi there and have the taxi wait for me since I’ll only be five minutes in there.
in the afternoon I go volunteer at the cork city partnership. I’m not full time on friendly call. So I’ll be making calls and checking in on people. I love it. I’ll go there at around 1 PM and stay until 5.
Then I have to go to my friend normas house. We have a training session planned. Not sure yet what we’re going to be doing. But I promised her I’d come over this evening since I didnt do it at the weekend. I’ll stay for about 2 hours. I dont have to pay for a taxi to take me there, my taxi’s are payed for by the partnership, but I might get a lift from one of the staff at the partnership and then just get a taxi home.
I’ll be taking Nitro with me when I go volunteering and to normas house but I wont take him this morning whenI go to get my injection.
I just had an amazing hot shower. I was feeling a little anxious and a bit tense and it really helped with that. I feel all refreshed now. Im not dressed yet though. I just made myself some coffee and am drinking that.
Well thats about it for now. I hope you all have a great day today.
carol anne

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Internal struggles

hi it is emily. im 12. im very scared. there is so much internal fighting going on. its hard for me. i know everything about our system. i dont like when the darks fight. it makes me so nervous. eileen says i need to let go and be 12. but how can i? i have to be responsible and make sure things are running smoothly. she said no i dont. that i need to let the adults do it, take care of things. she said its important for me to just be a kid. liz says she’ll take care of things. she said i have to trust her. so im trying hard to trust that she knows what she’s doing.

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taylor and lexi taste the coffee

hi everbudy me be at voluntering me alowed ote here nobudys wachin us so it saf to com ote i am siping carol annes cofee lexi did too we took a turn each to tast it it is strong i don think i lik it very much

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Stomach pain

for the past 2 days i’ve had a very sore stomach.

its like muscle pain, but I am not sure that is what it is. I’m pretty worried about it.

My anxiety is very high. I’ll give it a couple more days, if it doesnt go away I’ll see my gp.

If I press on the front of my stomach, above my belly button, it hurts. If I breathe in deeply it hurts. If I move suddenly, it hurts.

Its worrying. I’m trying not to think too much about it. It might be that I pulled a muscle getting in or out of bed. Who knows.

We’ll just see how it goes I guess.
carol anne


I’m slipping again. My mood is sliding. I was meant to go out this morning to the basement clug. I didnt go.

I couldnt face going. So I stayed in bed instead.

I know, i should have pushed myself to go. Its not like i was tired, or needed extra sleep. I went to bed at 10 last night.

And I got a decent nights sleep. And its not like I didnt wake early. I woke at 7:40.

I just, well I am not sure, I know I felt low, and bla, and like I couldnt face people.

I felt like I just couldnt go around and smile and be happy, because deep down I dont feel it today.

Ug depression bloody sucks.
carol anne


hi everybudy
it me lexi
ges wat
im playin wif nitro
hes so funy
he is diving on tha bed
and sitting on my lap
hes such a cutie
i had to put ar stufies out of tha way tho
cuz hed eat them
ar bunies ar stufie bunies they ar important
der nams ar misha and nibbles
emilia gave us misha
which we named afer her cat misha
and nibbles is the first one we had
shes a ty buny
shes purple
she always come to tha hosptal wif us
and wen we go see dr barry she comes
i love her
we sleep wif them two bunies
the news is on tv
i don lik hearin tha news
cuz it usuly sad
and somtims its scary
k i beter go now
we hav to take a shoer