A busy friday ahead!

I slept for a long time! I was just totally shattered!
I slept for the entire afternoon and evening yesterday! I only woke up to let nitro out and eat some fruit! Other than those few minutes I slept like a log!
I finally woke at 2 AM! And am up now for the day!
I am going to take a nice hot shower soon. I feel icky! I hate feeling so gross so a shower will be good!
My PA comes at 9 AM! We arent going out though. We’ll just do housework. I have a kinda busy day ahead of me today though
I am going to mom and dads for the weekend, like I normally do. But I am going to get my nails done today. I am getting shilac on them!
Mom is taking me! I am also getting waxing done. I am getting my lip, eyebrows and chin waxed!
I am also having a colour put in my hair, moms going to put it in for me!
So with all that the day will probably fly by!

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In a dark place

Its 2:34 in the morning. Despite my best efforts, I am wide awake!

I am feeling very low. I just feel awful. I feel so so down. My thoughts are dark. I feel an urge to do something really impulsive.

this is not good! Not good at all!

I am so not ok!

If I disappeared, I wonder would anyone notice, or care?

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Working on us, week 11, pet therapy!

This weeks working on us prompt is all about pet therapy and emotional support animals. Something thats very very dear to my heart. I am going to participate in the two prompts this week. So…lets get going…

  1. Do you own a pet for emotional support and/or service/therapy?

Yes! I own a guide dog as I am blind. He is not officially an emotional support animal, but he does support me emotionally, in so so many different ways.
Is your pet a certified therapy animal?
No, he’s not certified, well he’s trained as a guide dog. Maybe thats being certified in a way. But for emotional support, he’s not certified.

What kind of pet do you own?
He’s a labrador retriever cross! He’s almost 9 now. I’ve had him since he was two years old.
Do you believe that support animals truly assist those in need?
Definitely! When I am sad, mad, agitated, anxious, or depressed, Nitro comes to me. He gives me his paw, he licks my hands, he sits at my feet, or he lays his head on me, nudging me and giving me love and being very attentive to my needs.
Do you believe that any animal can be a therapy/support pet?
Most animals can be. I went to a petting farm recently, and I absolutely loved it there. I loved the goats, the llamas, the pigs, all of the wonderful animals. I believe animals have many healing powers. And they love you unconditionally!

Prompt two: Describe how your pet is of support to you? EXAMPLE: Helps with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc (And, please Share their name and a photo) if you desire.

Nitro helps me with my anxiety. Like I already said, if I am anxious, he sits by me, he rests his head on my lap, he licks my hands, or gives me his paw. He also helps when I am depressed. As I feed him, let him out, walk him, I need to take care of him, so I cant just stay depressed, as he needs me, so I need to focus on him and doing that helps me to get out of my head and break out of my depressive state. I am so grateful for Nitro. I love him and I am so, so glad heh is my guide dog. I’d be lost if he wasnt in my life, and I cant bear to think about a time when he wont be in my life.

If you want to participate, You can check out beckys prompt post here

https://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/08/14/august-14-2019-working-on-us-this-weeks-mental-health-prompts-for-blogging-community-week-11-topic-therapy-emotional-support-animals-pets/

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Novas random word of the day: transmitted

ice cold
numb to the bone
feelings transmitted
i feel so alone
shaking, quaking
long sharp breath
exhaling
fear grips me
oh, shit
i cant see
now what do I do?
feeling, stuck
Just like glue?
Where to go from here?
Oh, who cares!
Its all the same
Isolated, feeling ashamed
Dont know why
All I want to do is cry!

http://mynamaste365online.blog/2019/08/13/ndrw-71/

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Good morning guys!

so I am a happy camper this morning! I slept great! I needed the sleep badly! I ended up going to visit my friend norma yesterday afternoon, I stayed there for about 3 hours. Then I came home, ate dinner, and decided to have an early night. I was in bed by 9 PM. And asleep by 10. And I only woke up twice during the night, for about 5 minutes each time. I am delighted. I feel much better this morning having gotten some good sleep. Im still feeling low though. I am trying to remember to take my meds every morning. I take my prozac in the morning, and my other mood stabiliser at night. I am trying hard to remember them. So far it is working. I have been taking them regularly.
My PA is coming in an hour. We’re just going to do some housework today and I need to get her to go to the store for me too. She’ll be here for 2.5 hours. I’m also meant to work today. Not sure yet whether I will go in or not though. I may just stay home today. I am kinda not really feeling up to going in but we’ll see, I may feel differently as the morning progresses.
Well going to go drink my coffee, and get dressed. Happy tuesday everyone!

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check in with Eileen

So finally we got to check in with Eileen!
She’s in good spirits!
She said she still doesn’t know when she’ll be home though! She’s waiting on her relative to be transferred to a hospital in cork. They are waiting on a bed. So far though there are no beds in the hospitals here. So its just a waiting game now!
She said as soon as she knows more she’ll text me!
We arranged to have another phone check in next weekend! In the meantime if she gets home sooner than that she’s going to text me to let me know!
We talked about how we’ve been, and she was able to reassure the kids that she’s committed to our work together, she told us to try not to worry about her and about our sessions, that she is coming back and we will definitely continue our work together!
I am so glad to know that!
It was reassuring to talk to her!
I’m glad we did.

We’re under a severe weather warning

There’s a yellow status weather warning here tonight. It looks like a storm is coming! A big one too at that!
We hate storms! I knew this day was just going to get worse! The kids are terrified! The rain is already pouring down, and the wind is whipping up too!
Now all I need is for nitro to be spooked too as he hates thunder!
I dont think we’ll be sleeping tonight! I think we’re in for a long one!
The weather warnings in place until 7 AM tomorrow morning! Its now only just gone 10 PM here!
Is anyone around to keep us company?

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