I’m having less anxiety which is great!

I’ve been feeling a lot less anxious since I started clonadine. It has been very helpful. I’m so glad it seems to be working for me. I still have some anxiety, but its not nearly as bad as it has been.

It feels so good to just be able to say that. Perhaps we really have found a good solution, and a med that actually combats it. I really hope it continues to work for me, otherwise I might have to restart the lyrica. I dont want to have to take it because it causes weight gain. So if the clonadine works well, then that is a much better option for me.

For now its working well, and I’m very glad it is!

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College starts back today

I am going back to college this morning. I thought I’d have an early night last night, so that I’d be well rested and ready to face the day. Unfortunately that didnt work out to well for me. My next door neighbour decided that he was going to use a drill at 9:30 pm last night, and it went on for a while. Then he decided to run the vacume cleaner after the drill. To say I was pissed was an understatement. I eventually fell asleep but it was fitful sleep. I woke again at 1 AM and I’ve been up since. Its gone 2 AM now. Getting back to college, I am excited to go back. The first day back is always exciting, but it will also be kinda hard. I bet we’ll get our first assignment brief. I hope the lecturers explain what we have to do in a decent way. Our coordinator did give us one document about a week ago that had some information on the next assignment, so I know a little about it already. Its a pretty big one. I think part of it is that we have to visit an organisation related to mental health, and interview someone there and then create a poster presentation on the organisation and our findings. We also have to do an 800 word learner log. Not sure if there is more to it than that, but thats what I was able to find out about it so far. I’ll probably stay up now, class starts at 9:30. I need to book a taxi to get me there. I am leaving Nitro at home, he doesnt go with me to college. He gets too stressed out by the heat of the room. At least I was able to get a few hours of sleep, I suppose its better than nothing. I’ll probably be exhausted by the time mid afternoon rolls around, but I see dr. barry at 3:20 PM today so I cant nap in the afternoon even if I am tired.

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Busy day ahead tomorrow!

I am going to be super busy tomorrow. I am gladI had a free day today since tomorrow I wont have time to look around me or breathe.
In the morning my PA will come, she arrives at 9 AM!
I need to go to the store! I have to buy some stuff for baking, since I am going to make banana bread with my other PA on Wednesday night.
We are going to make the slimming world banana bread!
I need to buy loaf tins, liners for them and an electric whisk, and I also need to get the ingredients for the banana bread.
After doing all that we’ll come back to my house and I’ll get my pa to do some vacuming, mopping the floors, and other house work.
I work tomorrow in the afternoon on friendly call. That is going to be good I think. I am looking forward to going in.
After work when my supervisor drops me home, I’ll just about have time to get changed, and brush my teeth, before I need to rush out the door again to my slimming world group.
It will be 7:30 before I can actually get dinner, and sit down for the evening and relax. So if you dont hear a lot from me tomorrow thats why. Its just that I am running around like a headless chicken, lol.
Now if I was able to sleep I’d be all set. But unfortunately I cant sleep. I slept for 2 hours in the afternoon today because I was drained after therapy. That pretty much messed me up for tonight. I had to sleep though, I wasnt able to keep going and my eyes kept closing. Probably because I only got about 3 hours of sleep last night.

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Working on us week 14, boundaries and relationships!

This weeks working on us topic is boundaries, and relationships! If you’d like to participate then check out beckys post on the link provided and go for it! Its a lot of fun!

Rules:

  • Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.
  • There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answers, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short proseanything).
  • You can do one or all prompts.
  • You have from September 4th. through to September 10th. to submit your entries.

  • Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.

Question Prompt:

  1. How would you describe your relationships with family and friends? They’ve gotten better over the last couple of years, before that, they were strained, and not really that good.
  2. Have you ever had to set boundaries with family and friends? Oh yes, with my dad, in particular, also with friends, it was hard, but I did it and I am proud that I achieved that.
  3. Do you believe your boundaries are respected by your families and friends? Most of the time, although my dad can disrespect them at times, he needs constant reminding from me that I wont take his bullshit and crap.
  4. Are you treated differently because of your mental illness/disorders? Yes. Unfortunately. It was a lot worse when things were strained and the relationships between my family and I werent good. Nowadays its there, but I am not treated like I am someone to be afraid of or feared.
  5. Are your family and friends supportive and understanding of your mental health? I’d say a little bit. Not hugely though. They find the dissociative identity disorder challenging. They also dont really get it about the ptsd, they understand anxiety and depression a little bit and are more ok about those things.
  6. Describe a For instance of how you handled setting boundaries with family or friends? Well, I have a friend, norma, she’s blind like me, and also suffers from mental illness, a few years ago, I had to set some boundaries with her, because she was being very eratic, and treating me harshly, for no reason, other than she was getting attention for it from professionals around her. So I set boundaries, and we didnt speak for a while, now we do talk again, but I am firm with her, and I dont stand for any crap.

https://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/09/04/__trashed-6/

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Welcome to my world!

Napping feels so good! I didnt end up going to my appointment! I stayed home and decided it could wait. I’ll go next week maybe! Instead of rushing around and trying to be there for 3 PM I stayed home, and I napped. And it was bliss. Welcome to my world!
Self care, yay! I love self care!
I needed to take care of us too, since Liz wasnt doing well this morning. So I made it my business to be kind to us, and to her, too.
She’s doing a lot better now though. Thank god for that! I hate when she’s doing badly, it scares me, as she is so strong, and I get scared if she’s feeling bad that she’ll do something impulsive!
She didnt though. So the plan now for me for the rest of this evening, is to take a nice warm shower, and then watch a little tv and or read for a while.

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/08/27/welcome/

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thursday morning

good morning everyone! happy thursday!
😀
I had an okish night, I slept, but not a lot. I was up at 4:30 and I didnt go to bed until around 12:30.
I have an appointment later today with my community resource worker at the NCBI which is the national council for the blind. We’re going to do some career preparation.
I am not exactly sure what it will involve, but we’ll see. She was going to talk to my mentor at the basement club, to ensure that they werent both working on the same things with me.
The appointment is at 3 PM. Other than that my day is pretty much free. I will be home all day. I dont have any plans to go anywhere or to get up to anything much today.
I hope you all have a lovely thursday, stay blessed!

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What life can feel like sometimes…

Sometimes Life may seem like a Tunnel, endless and dark, but don’t Concentrate on the Darkness; Concentrate on the Light at the end and you will Succeed.
Chowkidar Narayan

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