So while I was at the store this morning I saw tons of Easter eggs. Even though Easter is not until April 12. I ended up buying the kids and Easter egg for Easter. I bought them Reese’s peanut butter cup Easter egg. It was a big egg, I decided to treat them. Thought they deserved a treat as we haven’t had much chocolate in a long time. I bet they’ll be thrilled. They love Reese’s peanut butter cups. I know they’re going to love it.
I also bought my niece and nephew and Easter egg each, I got them Cadburys creme egg Easter eggs. I also bought a Cadburys creme egg Easter egg from my dad. He’s like a big child. He loves chocolate.
I came home and he ate all of the Easter eggs until Easter. I was able to block the kids from knowing I bought them the Easter egg. They’re going to love it and be delighted that I thought to treat them.￼￼￼￼
How does your mental illness impact your functioning each day?
So this morning I got another call from a nurse on the weekend team. This nurse is one of the community psychiatric nurses so I knew her. Her name is Gillian and she is very very nice. She was very understanind about how bad things are for me at the moment. We talked through my symptoms, and she talked me through some coping strategies, and she told me that if I needed them throughout the day that I shouldnt hesitate to phone them, that they’d be there until 5 PmM, and after that, she advised me to go to the psych hospital to be seen, but I told her I was seeing Dr. Barry tomorrow and that I can wait until then. I knew I’d be ok until I saw her. So we hung up on the understanding that if I needed them again I’d phone. I had dinner at mom and dads, then I left and went home. Mom came with me for a little while, and once she left, I took some fenergan and lay down and slept for a few hours. It was bliss. The fenergan really knocks me out, but I think thats what I needed. I needed to get some good, uninterrupted sleep. And that is what I got. I didnt care that it was in the day, it doesnt matter to me if I am up tonight. Actually I kinda like being up at night. Nights are when we’re triggered, and I feel safer being up and awake sometimes, I dont know why but I do. I’m glad I had some uninterrupted sleep, it reset my brain again and now I am feeling ok, although the bad anxiety is still there, along with the dissociation and time loss and switchiness. But I’m happy to report that I’ve taken our meds now all of them for one whole week, and I am super proud, I havent missed a single dose. Yay. Thats good going as before I was missing 2 or 3 nights each week and I’d sometimes miss doses in the morning also. I’m determined to keep remembering them as I feel they are helping and I need them and need to be taking them properly. I’ve made some tea and my plan now is to watch a little TV and then finish up my book tonight also. I see Dr. Barry in the morning. I’m looking forward to seeing her. Then in the afternoon I meet with my new job coach. I’m pretty nervous about it as I will have to go into my history a lot and I will have to disclose my mental illnesses to him so that he’s able to best help me and support me in going back to work. I dont mind having to do it but I am just a little nervous about it. I hope the anxiety doesnt ramp up a lot during the night tonight, but we’ll see, my guess is it will as it always does or seems to do.
So I got a call this morning at around 10:30 from the weekend team. A nurse called Melissa phoned me. First she called my mom, because she had the wrong phone number for me, so when she tried it obviously I never answered and she got worried, so she called my mom, as my mom is down as my next of kin.
Anyway, when she called me, and finally got through to me, we had a nice chat. We talked about my anxiety and my low mood, and I told her I’d had very broken sleep last night. She encouraged me to get out today if I could. I told her I may go to see a friend, but I never ended up doing that. I went to my parents house instead.
She also encouraged me not to nap today. She said if I didnt that I’d probably sleep better tonight. So I havent napped. I’m still having a lot of trouble with the anxiety, I feel very anxious and am glad to be at my parents where I feel safer.
She told me that if I needed to I could call them back today as they’d be there until 5 PM today, and after that, if I needed to that I should contact the hospital if I needed to see someone, I wont have to do that though. I’m seeing Dr. Barry on Monday, so I can wait until then. I’m sure I can manage until I see her on Monday and when I do I am planning on discussing everything with her from the last few weeks and I am hopeful she’ll have some advice for me.
Melissa said they’d call me again tomorrow morning to check in with me and see how I am doing. Thats fine with me.
I’m a little bit worried in case she forgot about doing it. I doubt she did but I am beginning to worry unnecessarily probably. I hope she actually did make that referral!
If she did, then I should hear from them this morning, after 9 AM. I’m not sure, but I think they’ll come out to my house and visit me. That will be good if they do. I could use a visit.
I’m so overwhelmed. I’m debating whether I need to go to my parents tonight. I’m thinking maybe I do need to go. I just feel so bad. I don’t know what to do for the best.
I haven’t reached out to Eileen. I was going to yesterday. But then I didn’t. I wont now as its the weekend and that wouldn’t be fair of me, as she needs her time off on the weekends. I see her on Tuesday afternoon though so maybe I’ll just wait until then.
I’m just thinking, and I really probably should not go to my parents house. I’ll ask my friend norma to come over instead today. She’ll stay for a few hours. If she cant come to me, I’ll go to her instead. That way I am around people. I need to be, I think.
Well I am going to go for now. I just had to let nitro outside. Its still dark out there, I should think so at only 6:16 in the morning.
So this morning I rang Dr. Barrys office. I spoke to her secretary, and I asked her to ask Dr. Barry to refer me again this weekend to the weekend team.
She said she’d speak to her and call me back, and true to her word, she did. She said she’d talked with Dr. Barry, and Dr. Barry somehow knew I needed the weekend team, and so she said she’d make the referral on Friday.
I am so thankful to her. It will be good to have their support. I need it.
They will check in with me on both saturday and Sunday and visit me at home also. At least I think they’ll visit me. They’ll definitely phone me.
I’m glad that someone will be checking in. I’ve been feeling so out of sorts these last couple of days, and its good this is an option.
Heres hopiing it all goes smoothly and the nurses who are working this weekend are nice. I guess we’ll see what happens.
I got busy tonight exercising! I decided to just go for it! Get on that treadmill and go go go!
So that’s exactly what I did!
I did a 15 minute intensive workout, and man was I hot after it!
But I felt great! It got my blood pumping!
My hope is that I can exercise every day this week. That’s the goal anyway. Whether I’ll actually accomplish it or not remains to be seen.
It definitely helped with my anxiety though to get on the treadmill! I pounded it and was able to release some of my anxious feelings!
I’m so happy now that I actually did that. Feels fantastic!
Daily Prompt – JusJoJan the 26th, 2020