seeing dr. barry she had news for me

so i saw dr. barry this morning. Our appointment went well.
we talked about the fact that my mood had dipped for the last week, and how I was going to go back to the basement club and mind my mental health better than I had been doing. she thought that was a very good idea. I told her about all the staff changes in the basement club, how unsettling the whole thing was for us. She agreed it would be and could understand why it was effecting us so deeply.
we talked about symptoms, mainly sleep, mood, and dissociative stuff. I told her about therapy, about this weeks session. We decided to wait until the end of the month before adding back any more meds to our regime. She asked me if there were any more incidents of insiders trying to OD or stockpiling meds, I said there wasnt. So the next time I see her she said she’d look at adding back the prozac and lyrica or maybe just one of them, she said we’d talk about it at the next apt.
She asked me if the social worker Mary had called me to let me know about applying for more PA hours, how I’d have to go through my public health nurse to apply, that the social worker cant do it for me. I said she had called me. Then she broke the news to me as gently as she could.
Mary is moving on. She will no longer be the social worker on dr. barrys team. She got another job, a better one, and she took it. She’s not even with the team a year yet. And now she’s moving on. I was just getting to know her and now she’ll be gone.
I sat and listened, and sighed inwardly. Honestly, I wasnt shocked. I did however expect that she’d be around longer than 8 months. But well, she wont be. So I guess thats that. Someone new will be appointed. So it will be me trying to get to know another new face, another new social worker.
Dr. barry did say that she thought that there would be no social worker on her team for a while. She didnt know how long it would take before a new one will be appointed. Mary is working out her notice and then she will leave.
There is one small consolation. At least I hadnt built up too much of a relationship or bond with her. We were only just starting out. That is one good thing at least. There wont be another painful goodbye.
In fact if I am honest, I didnt think she was all that good at what she did. Granted I am comparing her to Karen, who was brilliant at what she did, but still. She mary, just expected me to do everything, and did not do much of anything herself. I am all for advocating for oneself but well when a social workers job is to do certain things, and then they say you can ring this or that person, speak to them, and stuff try to get done what you had asked her to do, its not good.
Dr. barry also told me new junior doctors had started this week. Two male doctors. It really doesnt make a huge difference to me, I dont ever have to see them, but I prefer when there is a female on the team, just in case dr. barry is ever out or on holiday, I have a doctor I can go to in an emergency. But these new ones are both males.
Those two pieces of news were the big pieces.
she is bringing me back in 10 days time, because on the day she’d usually see me there is some other clinic going on and she cant see patients on that day, so she asked me if I wanted to come back in 10 days time. I said that was fine, but it now means I will have therapy and my dr. barry apt on the same day.
I bet I’ll be exhausted after two apts in one day!
Anyway, it was a good appointment overall.

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Goals for Wednesday

Hi everyone 😀
Goals for today wednesday are…

1 eat healthy meals
2 shower
3 go see dr. barry
4 talk to dr. barry about the hard stuff thats been going on re:suicide and stockpiling meds
5 visit with my mom
6 go to slimming world
7 read my book
8 go to bed early

Hopefully I’ll achieve them all!
😀
carol anne

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FROM LIZ STILL STRUGGLING

IM STILL STRUGGLING THINGS HAVENT CHANGED FOR ME SIGH I DONNO WHEN OR IF THEY WILL IT JUST SUCKS TO BE STRUGGLING SOOOO MUCH
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?
I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I EVER DID TO DESERVE THIS SIGH
LIZ

appointment with dr. barry

we just saw dr. barry. we had a great apt.
we were in and out quickly which i love. always nice not to have to wait forever to be seen.
we talked to her about nitro being ill. how that was so stressful for us. how we’re glad he’s on the mend now that its a huge relief to us.
we also talked to her about the RA date that just passed. about the struggle we had with insiders here wanting to contact past abusers because they are in fear that if they dont they’ll be punished. she understood and said it was a great thing that Liz kept us safe yesterday. I think so too.
i told he r about liz being really depressed and feeling suicidal, and that her suicidal feelings were transfering onto me. and making me feel very low and unable to cope. i told her i was trying to focus on my upcoming holiday next week, that i was looking forward to that.
she said to keep focusing on that, which I am going to try to do.
she filled out an accomodations form for me so that I can get assistance with my skills demonstrations for the independent living skills course, I was happy she could fill it out for me.
so yeah a great apt. was very happy with how it went.
carol anne

Sienna. I came out to do a little self care because, we deserve it

Hi everyone…how are you all doing?
So I decided since today was so difficult for us all, I’d come out and do a little bit of self care. And so I came out and ran a nice hot bubble bath. We spent ages in there. Just what we need to wash away the stresses of the day!

It felt sooo good to just sit in it and relax. Enjoy the moment. Not think about anything or anyone. Just us.

And then, after the bath, I made us a nice cup of tea. And now I’m sitting here drinking that. I made a nice fruit salad that we can have later on tonight as well.

I’m gonna turn this day around. If its the last thing I do!
Sienna