Yes, I am still blind…

Omg guys! I am so irritated!
I get this payment once a month. It is called blind welfare allowance, and it is payed to all blind people in ireland, the cheque goes into my bank account once a month.
So last week I got a review form to fill out. It gets reviewed once a year, to make sure none of your circumstances have changed. Which is fine, I understand that they need to do this.
But earlier in the week I got a phone call from a welfare officer, she said she needed to call out to my house and meet me. She said she’d ring in advance, but she didnt, she just arrived at my door this morning!
Good thing I was up and dressed lol!
Anyway, she arrived, asked me if I get a welfare payment each week, when I said yes, she asked me which one do I get, and how long I’ve been getting it!
Then she goes, ok, so I’ve met you, thats all I need, I’ll let the office know I’ve met you! And with that, she was gone!
I think she just wanted to make sure I was still blind! Lol! Imagine it! I am hardly going to get my sight back overnight now am I? I was just like, whatever!
It really irked me if I am totally honest!
The fact I am recieving blind welfare allowance, means I am blind for goodness sake!
Ah well, we’re all good now for another year at least!

Cant sleep at all tonight

so i cant sleep. i’ve been wide awake, unable to settle. i was watching tv, was watching a true crime show, since I wasnt able to sleep. Of course it would help if I didnt nap yesterday afternoon, but well, I did. Anyway, I watched a show called worlds most shocking murders, it was good. About a british guy who poisoned his co-workers in the 70’s, fascinating story. After the show ended I turned on the repeat of this mornings talk show on our local radio station, the show gets repeated in the middle of the night, I had missed it this morning due to me going to slimming world. Then I got hungry so I made bacon and toast. It was sooo good! I enjoyed it. And then I started downloading some audio books. I will be seeing Dr. Barry today in the afternoon. I also have to get my shot. I’m due my 3 monthly shot. I cant wait to see Dr. Barry. Because I had to take Nitro to the vets on Monday, I never got to see Eileen, so we’ve had no therapy this past week. Before I go see Dr. Barry my mom is coming over for an hour. She will clean my yard and just spend the hour tidying up for me. My sister said she’d drop me to the hospital to save me getting a taxi, so she’ll pick me up when she picks my mom up. I’m thankful to her for the ride. I finished my shane dunphy book called bleak alley. It was a brilliant read. I liked that shane read the book himself. I think that gives a real personal touch when the author reads their own book. I’m not going to start anything now until Thursday, when the new Cathy glass book comes out. I’m excited for that to come out and to start reading it. I will do a review of the shane dunphy book soon for the blog.

Healing thought for Tuesday

Today’s Quote:
If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
Fred Rogers

Meeting with my mentor

so i met with aisling, my mentor this morning, and we discussed my goals, we’re using the path method to do up the goals.
we did some work on my personal values, and how I’d feel if I managed to complete all of my goals. Like, if I was able to wave a magic wand and achieve them all.
so what are my values?

My Personal Values:

Acceptance. Achievement. Adventure. Ambition. Appreciation. Authenticity. Autonomy. Balance. Belonging. Challenge. Choice. Commitment. Community. Compassion. Connection. Contribution. Creativity. Equality. Excitement. Fairness. Family. Freedom. Friendship. Fun. Happiness. Harmony. Health. Helping Others. Honesty. Humour. Imagination., Independence. Intellect. Intuition. Justice. Kindness. Leadership. Learning. Love. Loyalty. Making a Difference. Nature. Nurturing. Passion. Personal Growth. Privacy. Productivity. Reaching Potential. Respect. Responsibility. Routine. Security. Self-Expression. Service. Sharing. Success. Teaching. Team Work. Tolerance. Travel. Trust. Wisdom. Zest for Life.

Intrinsic Motivation:

How would I feel if I woke up and all of my goals had been reached

Whole. Fulfilled. Peaceful. Happy. Proud. Joyful. Fitter. Healthier. Creative. Successful. In Control. Connected. Stronger. Content. Calm. Excited about life. Confident.

I like this way of working! It makes me think hard about why I chose the goals I chose!

And it makes me want to achieve them all the more!

We’re meeting again in two weeks from now!

The next time we meet we’re going to be talking about where I’m at right now with my goals, and my personal characteristics that might be stopping me from achieving my goals!

Assessment of needs

So my public health nurse called me back. She wans to come out and meet me. She said she’d like to assess my needs.
I already have a file with them, as I’ve seen public health nurses in the past for various things. She provisionally booked me in for next wednesday, but she said she’d be in touch next week to arrange it and firm up dates.
I am so nervous. I will have to tell her my history, about my mental health, how I struggle so much with that. Its not just my blindness causing me problems. The mental illnesses are a far more complex part of my history and actually I would say they are more what I struggle with.
Although I will of course put down blindness also, as thats my primary disability. In order to get more PA hours, I have to say what I am going to use them for. She told me to think about what I need, why I need the hours, she gave me a few suggestions, like we can use them to batch cook, or for my PA to iron clothes, do laundry etc.
All of this relates to my blindness, but in regards to my did and ptsd and anxiety, we can also use hours for socialising, going places, getting out and about. The PA doesnt have to know all of my history, and probably wont be trained in anything to do with mental health anyway.
So between now and next week, I will think on somc ideas for what I will use my hours on, and I will write down some notes. Then I can use my laptop and read out to the nurse what I’ve written down.
I’m not sure how long its going to take to get extra hours, the place providing them are very slow, there’s lots of red tape, paperwork to go through when applying, and then it has to go before a bord. They’ve refused me in the past, saying I was too independent. I hope they dont do that again. Who says how independent a person is anyway, they dont know me at all.
I am hopeful, and hoping for the best outcome once I apply.