I thought I’d participate in revenge of Eve’s challenge G2k for this week.

The rules:

Use the tag #g2k

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Answer each question honestly

The questions:

  1. In what areas of your do you find it hard, to be honest with yourself?

I am least honest with myself in regards to my cutting, and other unhealthy coping strategies.

  1. Have you put in an effort to change this or do you ignore it in hopes it disappears? I try to change it. I work hard in therapy to try to come up with alternative coping skills to use.
  2. How does this affect other areas of your life? It causes me emotional turmoil and pain, it worries my family and friends, it causes me to lie to them and I also feel ashamed of the ways in which I have coped.
  3. Can you define the underline fear in regards to this? If so, explain. I worry if I give up my unhealthy coping techniques, I wont be able to cope with my emotions and thats probably more scarier to me than hurting myself or numbing my feelings.
  4. Do you find that you are more of an honest or dishonest person around others? I used to be dishonest but over the past few years that has changed, I now try to always be honest, because honesty is best, even if sometimes the truth hurts.


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Goals update

im really pleased with myself. i achieved most of my goals.

i ate healthy meals. i went for a 30 minute walk with my mom. the weather is beautiful. i tried sitting outside but had to come back in again, it was far too hot. i did read for a little bit while i was outside. im going to go read some more once i finish writing this. i had a nice cool shower, that made me feel good. I still have to facetime my friend but I will do that tomorrow. I also need to take meds but will do that soon as well.
overall its been a great and very productive day.

carol anne

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Bank holiday weekend

i’m at my parents house for the weekend. this weekends a bank holiday weekend here in ireland. not going to do much. not sure the weathers going to be good. there is an orange status weather warning for tonight, they said heavy rain and a lot of thunder and lightning, hope they’re wrong, otherwise I will be up all night with nitro. My sisters gone camping, she left today after lauren came out of school. She is gone to a country called carlow, a camp site there, on a farm, fun times, right? i hope they’ll enjoy their weekend, and thats another reason why i hope the weather is good and they were wrong about the bad weather. my pa came earlier and helped me clean my house. she changed my b ed, vacumed, mopped all the floors, washed dishes, ironed, dusted, etc etc. so now i have a nice clean house when i go home. i love fresh sheets, it’ll be nice to get into a freshly made bed. eileen texted me a little bit ago. we usually have therapy on monday but this next week it will be on thursday, thats due to the bank holiday. i’m glad she was able to fit me in on another day. you should have seen nitro when i got here he jumped all over me, i think he really missed me the past 2 days…i was also really happy to see him again. guys this is really bad but, im still reading a book i started weeks ago, i need to finish it this weekend, i really really want to review it and finishe it so hoping i will do it tonight or tomorrow.

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good morning

got about 4 hours of sleep again last night. my alarm went off at six and i hit snooze until 7. then reluctantly I got up.
and now its not even 7:30 yet and I’m dressed and sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea.
so organised, way to go.
I’m going to be leaving for the train at 8:30. provided my taxi shows up on time. I really hope it will.
dont fancy being late to the train station.
Not sure what the weathers like outside, I think I heard rain during the night, but I could be wrong on that front. Here’s hoping.

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Im just rambling…

not much going on here. i cant sleep. well i wouldnt, not when i slept half the day away. makes sense i wouldnt sleep tonight then.
my friend norma texted me at midnight, asking if i was awake. she needed someone to talk to. i rang her and we talked for an hour. she said she had a lot on her mind. im glad i could be there to talk to her. I know she’d do the same for me if I needed an ear.
the house is so hot tonight. probably because the weather today was very hot.
when i get home from seeing dr. barry tomorrow mom is going to come over and help me clean. and she said she will probably cut the grass again too just to stay on top of it. i think its nice of her to come over. i would be lost without her. she does a lot for me.
then tomorrow night i have slimming world. i did good this week so am hopeful i’ll be down a few more pounds.

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that was me today. i feel bad now because its such a beautiful day outside. but 3 Pm and I am just getting up. I woke a few times earlier in the day but I couldnt drag myself out of bed.
I did call the partnership to tell them I wouldnt be in today. I just told them I had a kidney infection because its true, I do. They were fine with me not coming in today.
Its 23 degrees c outside. I cant believe I managed to sleep in that sorta heat. But I did. I think those antibiotics are really doing a number on me.
Made something to eat and now just going to chill for the afternoon. Might go outside, I’ll see. If not then I’ll just catch up on blogs, read my book etc.

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