Thinking of moving house, a big decision

So I’ve been thinking a lot this evening. I am seriously considering moving. Moving out of my house I am in now. Moving to an apartment complex that is secured, that is gated, and that is nearer to where my mom lives.
I am really seriously considering it. For one thing, if I did that then it would be much safer, I’d be much more secure, there’d be no way any cult abusers could get in or contact us.
We’d be about 3 minutes from our moms house. We could actually walk there in minutes. I think I’d be a lot safer than I am now. Plus mom doesnt drive, and for her to get to me right now, she has to get a ride.
I am not sure if I can do it though. First I need to talk to my supervisor at friendly call. She knows a lot more about what goes on in the community than I do. She would know how I’d go about applying to the complex if I want to move there.
I also need to speak to dr. barry. If I move, then technically she wouldnt be my doctor any more as I wouldnt be in her catchment area any longer. Well as you can imagine I am not willing to lose dr. barry. So I would need to ask her if we could bend the rules a little and if she’d keep me on as a patient if I was to move. Of course I’d also be telling her my reasons for wanting to do this.
I would hope that she could. I think she could, but I’d need to make sure of it before going ahead with any of this.
Do you think I’m mad doing this? I’ve lived in my current house for 9 years. Its a local authority house, that means it belongs to our city council, if I moved to this complex, I’d be paying a little bit more rent, but it would be worth it for the extra level of security I’d have.
There are also community activities run there, there is a lot of community involvement, everyone knows everyone, etc. I grew up in the area, I lived there my whole life, the other thing is my neighbours would all be middle aged to elderly, I dont mind that at all though, in fact I’d almost prefer that.
So what do you think? Thoughts anyone?

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More updates after the car crash

So I had my medical yesterday, the medical that I had to have after the car crash.
The solicitor had requested it. It went well. My physical symptoms are gone now, its just the psychological stuff that is left. The doctor had a form he had to fill up. A standard report.
He put a lot in about my mental health and the psychological after effects of the accident. He said he thought I’d make a full recovery from it which was good to know. He told myself and my mom, she went in with me, he told us that he found the way it happened and the way the driver just rammed in to us twice then drove off, bizarre to say the least.
I’m glad its over now. Very very glad.
Now there is one more thing we need to do and that is make a statement to the police. That is happening on wednesday afternoon. That is for the pending court case that will be coming up in the new year.
I am nervous to talk to the police. But I will do it. Mom and my sister will also be talking to them.
I just hope it will be ok and go well.

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Sleepless night and plans for today!

well I had very little sleep. Went to bed around 1 AM. Couldnt settle. Eventually I did and I got around 4 hours of sleep total. Feel quite tired this morning. But I am up and awake and have had a couple mugs of coffee to get me up and going!
Just getting ready for therapy now. Booked my taxi. Finally got myself dressed too. Have an hour and a half before I have to leave! So plenty of time!
Am going to cancel my after care with nitro tomorrow. My week is just super busy! I can do it after the christmas rush is over! There is no hurry. I’m sure the guide dog school will be fine with me canceling it.
Other than therapy I have to go to my gp today. I have to get a medical done. You know a medical after the car crash, the solicitor is requesting that we all have medicals done so she can get reports on our injuries. So I have to go there at 3 today.
I plan on walking to the surgery, to get my exercise in! Thats if its not raining!
I hope you all have a fab Monday!

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dr. barry apt and got my shot

well our apt with dr. barry went great. we were almost late to it though. we had a taxi booked to take us, he was meant to arrive at our house at 8:30. he never showed up. i rang the base and the lady said traffic was mental due to the storms. i told her i had to be there by 8:45. she quickly got a driver to come get me. i was about 5 minutes late meeting sarah. but sarah knew i’d be late. she had an idea i would be due to the bad weather. she had gotten there on time and went indoors. she rang me just as i was arriving. i told her i was just arriving and so she came downstairs to meet me. we first went to get my shot. first of all the building where dr. barry is is huge. when you walk in the main door you take a right turn. go all the way to the end of that corridor and then that is where the mental health services are based. the place where i go for my shot is right by where dr. barry is. that part was good. i got my shot. they weighed me and i’m now 90.5 kg. they gave me my shot. then sarah brought me to the waiting room. the room is open plan. the chairs are so hard. wooden chairs. very hard on your back. i told sarah i didnt think i’d manage the building very well from what i’ve seen of it. i sat and waited for a while before i saw dr. barry. a junior doctor called me to come in but i told him i dont see junior doctors and i would wait for dr. barry. afterwords dr. barry told me he made a mistake, they all only moved in to the building on monday, and things arent set up properly yet so he took my file by accident. finally dr. barry came and got me. she brought me back to her office. she said she’s going to try to book the same office each week for consistency. she asked me if i thought the building was brighter, did I notice the brightness, I did. she said it was very clinical, like a hospital, not very cosy or comfortable. i noticed that too. in the old building it was cosy, and there was only all mental health staff and clients. this new place there are way more people milling around. its just not as homely. we chatted about the move. she knew i was anxious about it. she asked me when the anxiety started about it. i told her after sarah phoned me yesterday to tell me that they’d moved. she then said she’d ask sarah to meet me each time i am coming in, for a few weeks at least. she said she thought I’d eventually be able to navigate the building by myself. I’m glad she has faith in me because I dont. lol. We talked about my sleep. i told her I am only getting 2 or so hours of sleep a night on most nights. i told her the haldol isnt doing anything for me. where as before it would knock me out completely. she asked me if i would like to try fenergan. its a sedating antihistamine. i cant think of the other name for it. i’ve taken it before though. when i took it before it did knock me out. i only took it while i was hospitalised. she gave me a weeks supply and said take it for 3 night in a row. see how i do with that. see if that resets things for me and enables me to get a better sleep. i havent collected the med yet but i will later this week. we talked a lot about therapy. i told her about the new things eileen is trying with us regarding touch and sensory stuff and about eileens training and about our last two sessions. she said it sounds as if we are doing a lot of very intense work. i agreed. we talked through a couple of other things. but mostly it all centred on the move, and on therapy. at the end she made another apt for me for 2 weeks time. and then she very kindly walked me to the entrance where i waited for a taxi. i think i’ll be ok. i think in time we’ll get used to the new layout and the new building. i’m hopeful that we will.

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Hurricane diana!

There is a bad storm outside this morning. It started last night. High wind, rain, and the wind was really whipping up outside, howling very loudly. I wasnt able to sleep with the noise. I am very tired this morning. But I need to go see dr. barry and go get my shot also.
I dont really want to go out in it. But I have no choice. I hope I’ll be ok and manage ok in the bad weather.
I’m going to mom and dads today after I see dr. barry. I got invited to a lunch with the staff of friendly call today too. They are being audited and there is a lunch and they invited me to it. So I will be going to that today but other than that I wont be doing much else today.
The weather warning is in effect until noon. Its pretty bad out there right now.

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On the move!

Well its finally happening! Dr. barry is moving to a new building! I am seeing her tomorrow in the new building! I am so anxious!
My CPN sarah rang me this morning. She said dr. barry was speaking to her and asked her to meet me tomorrow morning as she knows this is a huge deal for me. For one thing I know absolutely nothing about the new building, other than its huge, and there are a lot of other doctors and services in there!
So I am meeting Sarah at 8:45 tomorrow morning. She is going to show me where to go. I also have to get my injection so I will need to be shown where to go for that too!
I hope this new building wont be too hard to get around! I dont know how many times I’ll go before I will know where to go or what I am doing! I have a feeling I will need to do some route familiarisation with nitro! So hopefully sarah will help me out with that!
Dr. barry has been brilliant. She knows change is hard for me. She knows I am an anxious mess. I did not want this to happen! I dont think she did either! Its just that a new medical complex was built and all medical services have to move in there and out of their old buildings as the old buildings are being knocked down!
But OMG this is so strange! So weird and just ug not liking it one bit!
Im glad to have sarah’s help in this though. Makes things a bit easier. She’s lucky I even answered my phone as her number is a private number and I rarely answer private numbers!
Anyway. Will report more on how the move went tomorrow!

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Sarah!

my cpn sarah just called. i’d been having phone sessions with her for the month of october. for some extra support.
she had caught me on my way out from seeing dr. barry last week, and she had told me she’d ring me the next day, but then she forgot. I knew she probably forgot to do it. I had no number to contact her.
But all is good she just called me all apologetic and we had a final session. If I need her again I can link back in with her I just need to be refered which dr. barry can do for me. Her support is good. I like her. She’s friendly and approachable and very kind.
She told me I should be proud o f myself for getting through october, and staying out of hospital. I guess that was a pretty big thing. I am proud that I did that.
Its good that I have her support going forward if I need it. I have a great team of mental health professionals around me. thank goodness for that!

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