word of the day challenge: cruel

you stole my innocence
You stole my childhood
you were so vile, so cruel
you didn’t care how it made me feel
you didn’t care what you did to me
you just did what you wanted
you were a psychopath
someone who doesn’t feel any remorse
and I
I was just a little girl
I didn’t have a choice
I had to do your bidding
I didn’t get a say
How cruel is that

Cruel – Word of the Day Challenge

What causes avoidant personality disorder?

 

 

A great post about what causes avoidant personality disorder, read on for more info about it!

via What causes avoidant personality disorder?

Could hav been

i could have been beautiful
but you spattered me with blood
i might have been graceful
but you knocked me into the mud

i could have been courageous
but you crumpled me into a ball
i might have been brave
but you made me feel so small

i could have been intelegent
but you taught me not to try
i might have been brilliant
but you told me the truth is a lie

i could have been trusting
but your promises lay broken
i might have been confiding
but you taught me to leave everything unspoken

i could have been independent
but you left so many needs unfilled
i might of been self-reliant
but you made it so i couldn’t rebuild

i could have been whole
but you tore me all apart
i might have been so much more
but you destroyed my growing heart

c2006

This is a poem about my experiences of being a child abuse survivor, this was written to my abusers.

I am rereading now

I am rereading a book I read a few years ago at the moment. Its a cathy glass book. Its called will you love me and its about how she came to adopt her daughter Lucy, whom she fostered before adopting her.
Its a really good read. I am enjoying it immensely.
Its very very sad though. Lucys early life was very traumatic. Before she came into care I mean.
I wanted to reread this book as I couldn’t remember a lot of the details.
I’ll review it once I am done. Have any of you my readers read it?

#Writing prompt 29

My voice matters because

My voice matters because when I was little I couldnt speak out.

I didnt have a choice back then, I couldnt say no. I was just abused and that was that.

My voice matters now, and I will do what I can to raise awareness of child abuse, mental illness, and most of all to raise awareness of the struggles I go through each day.

I matter, I am learning that, for years I believed I didnt, now I know thats not true.

When your given an opportunity, speak out. Its the only way to make people listen. Its the only way to show people how much your story means, and how what you’ve gone through has effected you.

Never ever give up. Speak out, be courageous, be brave, you matter, we all matter!

In response to sarah elizabeths writing prompt!

https://sarahelizabethmoore.org/2019/07/21/writing-prompt-29/

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Flashbacks

they are color and sound and smell,
they are feelings
everything but words
and no way of dealing
how can i understand this?
was it something bad that’s spinning
why does all this come back
i can’t make sense of the beginning
a world of crazy swirls
where is my voice, before i had one
i cant find the way to talk about
all that needs to be said about what was done
how can i express pain?
when all i know is what’s inside
the tears come, but i cannot tell you
why, even after i’ve cried
am i locked in this place?
stuck in the past with no way of escape
will i always wonder how to describe
all the things that took shape

Written by an alter
Jessa, age 13
c2006