Nitro and aftercare

so next week we have aftercare with nitro, remember we were meant to have it before christmas? well the guide dog school just called me, and a trainer will be coming out to my house next Monday afternoon at 2 PM to review nitro, see how he is doing, and possibly chat about retirement, as he’s 8 now. I am so nervous. I am glad though that its actually nitros trainer who will be coming out, I know her, and she’s really nice. I know she will be kind, and I am delighted that it is her, and not someone I dont know doing it.
So this time next week I will know more, wish me luck guys!


Anxious about therapy

have therapy in an hour. dont want to go.

feel so anxious about it. not sure what will come up today. dont want to find out.

just wish I could skp it altogether. Not wanting to face it. feel so overwhelmed. I’ll probably end up a sobbing mess on eileen. She’ll have to pick me up off the floor and I’ll be a crying dissociative mess.

insiders feel panicky and scared.

this is not good! Not good!

Ug I wanna run! Thats what I am hearing from inside!

Ug sigh!


I slept well last night!

I must have really needed sleep! I slept yesterday afternoon after mom left for hours. I woke up around 9 PM, I stayed up then for a little while, but at around 11:30 I got tired again so decided to go back to bed. I went back to bed and I actually fell asleep right away! And I slept right through until 6:30 this morning!
Thats unheard of for me! I never sleep that much! So I must have been tired! Well I am happy I did. I am feeling good this morning. I woke up and made coffee, and am ready to start my day now!
No plans today other than just chill out at home. Was planning on visiting my friend norma but she’s busy so I will have to wait until next week to visit her.
So I think its just going to be a day of relaxation!


very Early

Its very early. not even 5 AM. I woke up, I heard a dog outside, he kept barking, I couldnt get back to sleep. So I got up, ate, and am now just sitting here trying to do email and blog. I am kinda feeling off though. A little anxious. And just blah. But I am trying, I get points for trying right?