Maybe lost some weight

I just weighed myself on my mum scales. I couldn’t resist.

Looks like I lost what I gained while I was in England. I’m so happy about that.

Hopefully by the time I go to slimming world on Wednesday evening I will be down another pound or two on top of that. If I am, I will be thrilled

Hope I can do this, fingers crossed.

Feeling off

I woke up feeling bla. I just feel off. I don’t know why! I just woke up numb, then I went from feeling numb to just feeling down. Now I feel so depressed. I cant shake it. I think I need to do something to distract. I ate a banana, and drank 2 cups of tea. I was hoping the tea would make me feel better. It didn’t. Thank god I have therapy tomorrow. I badly need it.

Eileens so good to us

Eileen is so amazing. She has been so supportive to us while we were in the UK.
She said before I went that I could text her. So I did. I texted her on Sunday night, before I went to bed. I told her about how much I was struggling. I wasnt looking for a response, I was basically just sending her an update.
On monday morning, the day of the funeral, she texted me a sweet message, saying that she knew I was on route to the funeral now, but that she was sending me her love and support, and telling me that if I needed to talk to her to call her, that she’d be available at 10 Pm that evening, as she was teaching a class that evening.
I was so grateful for that supportive message. I read it when I got back to the afters of the funeral. I was so touched by her sweet message, I felt so cared for by her.
And we did talk that evening. I rang her and we talked about the day. She was still in college when I rang, but she still took my call, we talked for about 15 minutes.
She told me to try to practice self care, and to take good care, and if I needed to to just send her another message, but I didnt have to do that. I figured I could wait until I saw her to talk to her.
I feel so blessed to have such an incredibly caring therapist. She really is such a sweetheart to do all that she does for us. We appreciate her so, so much.

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We’re home!

So we’re home! Got home about half an hour ago. Our flight went smoothly, but we were delayed taking off. We were half an hour late taking off from london. But once in the air we were fine. Not sure why the delay taking off. My sister picked us up at the airport. I’m very glad to be back home. I’m glad the funeral is over. I’m also glad that I am not around alcohol and my aunt. She has been constantly drinking during the whole time we’ve been there. Its been super hard to cope with. All I could do was take myself out of the room when she started to get too much for me to cope with. She repeats herself a lot when she’s drunk. Its annoying. So all I could do was go. Go upstairs to the bedroom and go on my computer. I had a long chat with one of her daughters today. She told me they’ll be keeping a close eye on their mom. They’ll have to. She’s really bad. I’m afraid she is going to go downhill. She’s not eating, a few bites here and there but nothing substantial. I dont think her organs are going to take the amount of alcohol she’s drinking. I think she is going to become really ill and probably really fast too. I just hope she’ll be ok. I’m worried for her. But we’re safe, we’re home and we’re safe. And Nitro was so happy to see me! He wagged his tail and licked me to death! He was super excited!

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Good morning

I’ve been up since 430, I’m feeling really good this morning, I caught a great night sleep. I’m sitting downstairs drinking a mug of coffee. Everyone is still in bed. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet and the early morning. It’s so nice to be able to get up have a mug of coffee and enjoy peace and quiet. I go home today. Will be leaving the house around 1 o’clock. Flight back at 4:40. Really enjoyed my few days here in the UK. Seeing my relatives was nice even though it was really sad occasion. I hope to come back in the summer.

SHE’S NOT DRUNK, THANK GOD!

WELL OUR AUNT IS NOT THAT DRUNK, TIPSY YES, BUT NOT OVERLY DRUNK. SHE HAS BEEN DRINKING THE VODKA SHE BOUGHT. BUT SHE’S ALSO BEEN EATING, WE HAD DINNER, SO THAT HELPED. SHE’S IN THE SHOWER NOW. AND SHE SEEMS FINE. SHE IS NOT TALKING SHIT OR BEING WEIRD OF RUDE OR ANYTHING. I’M SO GLAD. I’M GLAD SHE SEEMS OK. WE HAVE BEEN TAKING BREAKS FROM THE FAMILY ALL DAY, EVERY SO OFTEN WE GO OUT OF THE ROOM AND UPSTAIRS TO THE BEDROOM TO READ, OR WE GO ON OUR LAPTOP, OR CALL A FRIEND, IT IS HELPFUL TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. IT HAS SAVED OUR SANITY. WE HAVENT DRANK AT ALL DURING THE TRIP. OUR MOM WAS JUST UP HERE WITH US, SHE WAS PACKING UP OUR CASE TO GO HOME TOMORROW, WE’LL BE LEAVING THE HOUSE AT AROUND 1ISH TO GO TO THE AIRPORT. I HOPE MY AUNTS HUSBAND DOESNT SUSPECT ANYTHING IS UP WITH HER. SHE’S BEEN MIXING THE VODKA WITH COKE SO THAT IS HELPING. NORMALLY SHE’D DRINK IT RAW AND STRAIGHT WITH NOTHING IN IT. THE FACT SHE’S MIXING IT IS GOOD, AS THERE IS LESS OF IT IN THE BOTTLE. IF HE FIGURES OUT SHE HAS IT THERE WILL BE WORLD WAR 3. HE HATES HER DRINKING VODKA, SHE ISNT REALLY ALLOWED IT IN THE HOUSE AT ALL. SO ALL IS WELL AND WE’RE OK SO THATS THE UPDATE ON THINGS.
LIZ

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My aunt…She’s done it

Well guys, it has happened. My aunt got herself a bottle vodka. She did it, despite us not getting it for her. Despite us not bringing it, she still managed to get some.
She went out to the local store. In the pouring rain. Thats how desperate she was. She had to have it. She walked there in the lashings of rain.
Her husband doesnt know. He’s out at the moment. He’s gone to pick up his car. He has no idea she did it. She has warned me not to say anything to him. My mom had to go with her, well she didnt have to, but she did. She felt obligated.
Now this is where things might be rough. If she drinks all of it, the whole bottle, which she will, she’s going to be drunk and things could get ugly.
I just hope that they wont. I feel bad for my mom and me that we’re stuck in the middle. If her husband finds out she did this he might be really mad.
Oh well. We cant do anything about it now. She has it and she’s going to drink it no matter what we say or do. She is an alcoholic after all. Old habits die hard.

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