One liner wednesday, love yourself!

Love your body! Love your self! Love yourself unconditionally! When you do, thats when true healing can begin!

https://lindaghill.com/2019/08/21/one-liner-wednesday-serenity/]

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Morning ramble!

good morning
Happy wednesday! I am so glad its wednesday! half the week is over, yay!
How are you all doing?
I am doing very well! I slept well which was awesome! I am so glad I slept well last night! I was in bed last night by 10 PM and asleep by 10:30. I got a good solid 5 or six hours!
this morning I go see dr. barry! I am so looking forward to our appointment. I love seeing her, as we always talk about a lot. Today will be no exception. I need to tell her that Eileens home. I also need to tell her my sleep is a bit better. And I also need to talk to her about the prazosin, I have to come off of it since the wholesale supplier isnt supplying it any longer. I hope she can find an alternative for me.
I also need to get my trevicta shot from the clinic nurse. I cant believe its been 3 months already since I got my last one!
I hope the wait before I see dr. barry wont be too long. I hate all the waiting. I get so bored. Maybe I’ll bring a book and read that. Or go on my phone and go on facebook or something.
After my apt with dr. barry moms coming over to my place for an hour, she’s going to cut my grass, and she’s going to clean up the dog poop in my yard. My sisters going to drop her off on her way to work. I’ll probably just have lunch while she’s doing those things.
Then this evening at 5:30 my Pa comes. We’re going to walk Nitro. I’ll probably do the same walk that I did last week. That takes an hour to complete. Its a nice walk. Weather permitting of course. I hope the weather stays good so we can get out. I enjoy the walking and we talk as we walk which is nice. Nitro needs the exercise and so do I! It keeps me fit!
So thats my day in a nutshell! What does your day look like? Have you anything planned?

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Blessings this evening 😍🌻

Take time tonight this evening this afternoon whatever time it is where you are, take time to relax, take time to do something fun. Have a peaceful night or day depending on where you live it’s evening here where I live. 830 in the evening now. Have a great evening everyone 😗🌻💕

I will not try to predict the future!

Well today Nova has given us the word vatic, google told me it meant describing or predicting what will happen in the future.
I do this a lot! I am forever trying to see into the future!
I know I shouldnt, I know I should live in the now. And actually, today in therapy we talked a little bit about that. We were discussing going for the smear test, and Eileen said to me, its a very present day thing, its happening now, and even though there are insiders in your system who are remembering things from the past, abuse from their past, that we need to live for now, be in the now, and having that test today was very much in the here and now!
It was my 39 year old self doing that!
I didnt try to predict what was going to happen after the test, eileen said we needed to break it down, into two parts. having the test today, and the results of it which I will get in a few months. No one knows what those results will tell me, there really is no point in trying to be vatic, I should just wait and see what happens!
I can do it! I am not going to think about it now! I will just go on with my life, and not try to foresee the future ahead of me!

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I had my smear test

so I had my smear test today. It went well. I was ok, I managed to be ok for it, I wasnt too triggered during it, although I was a bit freaked out. But my mom was with me, she stayed in the room with me the entire time which I was glad about.
We had talked in therapy about it, so that had helped a little. Eileen had told me what to expect, and Eileen is a nurse, so I was reassured by her. she had told me it doesnt hurt, and for the most part it didnt, although I did feel some pressure while the nurse put the speculum inside me.
Anyway. we got there early and the nurse didnt keep me waiting. she took me straight in to the room. she was a very kind nurse, she explained everything to me. she was also very disability aware, having a sister who has downs syndrome. So she explained things, and asked me a few questions. One question she asked me was about sex, had I had intercourse in the past. that was a little embarrassing to answer in front of mom, but I did answer it truthfully.
then she had me strip off,and she had me lie on the examining table. I felt very exposed, but she did put a paper towel over me to cover me a little bit. She started talking to me about holidays, the weather and other stuff as she proceeded to start doing the test.
I did flinch a little during it, as I said there was pressure, and it did hurt as she pushed the speculum inside me. But I breathed through it, and before I knew it it was over. And I was able to get dressed again. I did bleed after the test, but she said thats pretty normal, and for me not to worry about it.
She said since I’d bled afterwords that she would tick the box that says suspicious cervix, and that would mean I’d automatically be referred to the gyn clinic for further treatment and testing, but it could still take anything up to 2 months for me to get a letter with an appointment in it.
She did say it was concerning how I’d gotten a period again after so long, but that if I have some ovary tissue left, that I am still producing hormones, and the lining of my womb could be thickening and maybe that is why it happened, but any post menapausal bleeding needs to be checked out.
so that was that. we left and i know now what to expect. As for the results of the smear that will also take a while. eileen had said I could text her after I had the test, so I did. I just told her how it all went, and what happened during it , and within the hour she texted me back and said how proud of me she was and she also said well done for getting through it.
I am proud of myself for getting through that. I didnt think I could do it.

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