we are ok after the storm!

everything is ok again, the storm is over.
things are going back to normal. although lots of people are without power, but we didnt lose ours. over 200 thousand people lost theirs though and are without it.
it will take days to restore the power. I’m grateful we didnt lose ours.
the schools were closed on monday, and they are closed today tuesday also. most places were closed. the A and E department of the hospital was open but any outpatient parts of hospitals were closed. My home help was off work too. So I had to fend for myself and cook my own meal.
I cooked chicken nuggets and onion rings. the kids were delighted with that. my sister had given us homemade vegetable soup and we made ham sandwiches with it and had that for lunch. they’ve been hiding all day because of being scared so they enjoyed coming out to eat.
I need to go to my college’s website to see if they’re closed today tuesday. Also first thing this morning I need to see if the partnership where I volunteer is opening today.
if not i’ll stay home all day. my pa kristen can hopefully come this morning and we can clean my house and she can help me make breakfast of sausage and hash browns.
thanks to everyone for the good thoughts and for worrying about us.
your all such amazing friends. dont know what we’d do without you.
carol anne


saturday-visiting my friend, reading and a treat

so saturday was good. i felt better emotionally and implemented some of the things me and sarah talked about on friday. mainly i went to visit my friend norma, and i also read for a while. those were two of the things on the plan for getting through the weekend safely.

i spent 4 hours in normas house. it was nice. we hung out and chatted. when i got there her pa was there. her pa makes me laugh. she gets really animated about things. she was asking me about starbux coffee, and i was telling her its about 5 euro for a cup of coffee. she almost died of shock! she said she was going to barr her daughter from buying starbux, lol. her daughter is 21. she left at 4 so not long after i arrived. i did enjoy my visit with norma and it was good to catch up with her.

i rang a taxi when i was ready to go home. the driver who collected me did not have a clue where he was going. first he rang me asking me what colour house i was in. i was like, um i dont know dude, i am blind? finally he found me and once i got in the car i tried to give him directions to my moms house. he got lost. he spent half an hour driving around trying to find where they lived. in the end he didnt charge me because he said it was his fault he got lost. so that was nice.

when i arrived back at mom and dads i ate pizza and then i let the kids have an icecream. that was our treat for the week. it was chicken fajita pizza too which is yummy. the ice cream was honey comb kind. we sat munching and watching the x factor. i love the x factor its one of the highlights of my weekend to watch it. it was on for two hours last night.

after that i read my maggie hartley book for a while. i’m almost done with this book. its really good. i have about an hour and a half left to go and then i’ll be done. i only read for an hour last night because i got tired and sleepy. and when i finally turned off the book and lay down i fell asleep quickly. and i slept good. just woke up now at 7 AM.

no plans for today really. my sisters not coming over to our parents for dinner today. that means i’ll have to get my own taxi home. thats ok though i dont mind. i feel quite good emotionally this morning. i think the very chilled out weekend we’ve had helped. we are coping. that feels good.

Not doing well

so we are not doing very well. we are feeling very mentally unwell. very emotional. also intense suicidal feelings. i did manage to go see rose yesterday which was nice. seeing her helped me to distract for a while. she gets it and she really gets me. i was able to talk to her about how i was feeling. she actually noticed without me saying anything. she said to me, i thought you had went downhill this past week, you were withdrawn and taking longer than usual to reply to texts etc. i told her i was sorry and then told her how i felt. she was very sympathetic. right now the system is in a lot of chaos. lots of the younger insiders are really struggling. i’m trying to be there for them as best as i can. i think part of it is they are scared i will do something, but i promised myself that if things get to a point where i feel like i am going to do something, i will go to get assessed at the hospital. i’m hoping it wont come to that though. i’m hopeful i can wait it out until i see eileen tomorrow. at least then we can discuss things, and talk about things. i wont be seeing dr. barry this week because i am going on respite tomorrow. but that might be a welcome distraction too. at least it will be a change of scenery. and i have the basement club i’ll be going there 3 days this week, and i have sarah on friday. so i am very much supported. i really just have to get through today. i think i can do it, i have hope.

Friday evening round up

so i got home from the movie night a little bit ago. there were 10 of us who went to see the young offenders. its an irish made movie, actually its all about cork where I live. it is so funny. but i doubt people who arent from cork would get the humour in it. especially if you didnt know cork slang…i laughed all through the movie though. we all did. i treated the littles to popcorn and coke, so they were in heaven. i also treated them to a burger after the movie. we all went to super macs after the movie for food. ok we all didnt go, but five of us went. it was nice. the entry into the movie was free because its culture night in cork tonight. afterwords sitting in supermacs we me and denise were saying how we should go on more outings outside of the basement club, just us members no staff. we were thinking of maybe going to the movies more often. i shared a taxi home with susan whose another member. so it only cost me 4 euro to get home. i thought that was a pretty sweet deal. too bad i had to see a fight take place outside the taxi base. there was this man and woman both drunk. the woman was in her 30’s, not sure about the man. she was screaming and shouting at him. telling him she was not going to put up with his shit, that she’d had enough, that he was a disgrace etc. then all of a sudden she flung him into the window. i mean literally she smashed his face into the payne of glass. the glass didnt break luckily. but what a fright i got. thank god i was with susan. i was very scared. the thing is after she did that they both just walked away as if nothing had happened. i was happy they did go because to be honest i would have been scared to go past them to get to our taxi. but i hope the man was ok. this is why i rarely go into town on a weekend night. you just never know what you’ll be faced with in there. i was feeling tired on the way home but now i seem to have gotten my second wind. i’ll probably stay up late tonight because i dont have to go anywhere tomorrow. i am going to see rose though. she’s invited me over. its the fourth time she’s invited me over in four weeks so i feel i have to go because i’ve been promising her for a month now. mom and my sister are going out to the beach i think. i told mom it is going to rain tomorrow. they’ll be the only people on the beach lol. she said they’d use umbrellas. then she said my sister might take the kids swimming if it rains. other than that i dont have plans for the rest of the weekend. it’ll be just getting prepared for respite on monday. i dont go to respite until monday afternoon, first i have to go see eileen in the morning. i told kristen today that she didnt have to take me out while i was on respite. there is an induction taking place at the basement club for new members next thursday morning. i want to go in then to meet the new members and make them feel welcome. we were all new at one time and it can be very daunting when you dont know anyone. i feel i have a duty to make the new people feel at home because i am a volunteer in there as well as a member. plus i just want to do it too just because i am nice lol.

Good night, but wait, its good morning?

No sleep for me! I cant believe I’ve been up all night again! Or wait, I can! I did try, I really did…

I turned off the computer at 1 AM. Dr. barry would have been so proud of me. She has told me to turn off all my eletronics an hour before bed. She said screens should be shut off an hour before sleep! I’m like woman are ya joking me? Me? Shut them off? Noooo I cant!

But I did last night! Still, couldnt sleep. Not even a wink! Lay there for 2 hours tossing and turning. Wishing my eyes would close. Eventually I got tired of just laying there, so I went on youtube, read for a while, then listened to music. And then I got back up and turned back on my PC.

Mom and dad got up at around 8. So then I got up too because I was so thirsty and really needed a cup of tea! My dads in a right strop this morning. He says he’s in pain, but when mom asked him to go to the doctor he almost had a spas attack! He was like “what is a doctor going to do? Give me pills?” I was like uh yeah what else? He wont go but he just wants to continue moaning at us! It gets so old.

I havent eaten yet this morning. My appetite seems to be non existent first thing in the morning. Karen said that might be because I ate late the night before, and I have no gall bladder so the fat in the food has no way of breaking down. So then she said I’d still be full the next morning. That is why she told me to use the lecithin granuals.

I’m going to see rose today. I am looking forward to it. I’ve been saying for 3 weeks I’d visit her. She texted at 2 AM this morning asking if i was definitely coming over today. So I texted back saying yes I was and I’d see her at 2 PM.

Well better get off here and try to be productive, who wants to place a bet as to how long I can last before tiredness overtakes me?

Start of the weekend, yay

i’ve had a good friday. this morning i went out for a coffee with my old pa Deirdre. she stopped being my pa about a year and a half ago, but we remained friends on facebook and through texting. she had texted me last weekend asking me if I’d like to meet up. she had a day off work today so we were able to do it today. it was really nice to see her again. we went to a local shopping centre and had breakfast, and then we went for a stroll around some of the stores. i was going to get some leggings but the store i usually get them in didnt have my size. i ended up just getting my niece and nephew some sweets and i got some water for myself and some doughnuts for mom and dad and my sister, i was good, i didnt have any. deirdre dropped me back to mom and dads house when we were finished. i am staying here for the weekend. i went to visit norma this afternoon. she had rang asking me if she could come over to my house but I told her I was in mom and dads, and that I’d call over to her. I stayed with her for about 2 hours. I didnt even have to spend money on taxi’s because my sister dropped me over there and she also collected me and dropped me back to our parents. i’ve been doing really good now with my healthy eating. i’m going to write about my weight loss or lack of it in a separate post. but today my dad made a chicken curry and we had rice with it. then tonight i had a fruit salad with plain yogurt on it. i’ve been drinking lots of water as well. hec i wont write about my weight loss in a separate post. i’ll just write about it here in this one. so i went to karen o yesterday and i knew i was going to be up but i couldnt believe it when she said i was up by 8 pounds. i almost burst into tears! it was sooo disappointing! i know it had been four weeks since i’d seen her and i was on holiday and not working hard on healthy eating or exercise, but oh man! i did not expect a jump of 8 pounds! it was crushing! so now i’m determined i’ll work hard this week and in the future and get down that weight again. i decided to cut down on tea and coffee and i only drank 2 cups of tea today and no coffee. i’ve decided i’ll allow myself 2 cups of tea a day and if i really crave it one cup of coffee. i’m going to try to stay away from the coffee though. i dont take sugar in my tea but i do take it in coffee. yesterday karen measured my waist too and it had gone up by two centimeters. up instead of down? not good. thats why i decided to cut out the tea and coffee. i’m also back to using the lesithan granuals. my other friend rose texted me an hour ago asking me to call to her tomorrow if i felt up to it. so i said iw ould. its going to be raining here bad tomorrow. they said by 3 pm it would be a 90 percent chance of rain. i’ll have nothing else that i need to do and i do want to catch up with rose because she’s just come out of hospital. i also got an email from the co-ordinator of the college course the substance use and misuse in youth and community work and i have to go to an open evening on the 12th of september, and then an interview on the 19th. I’m excited to do all that. I’m hoping i’ll get in. I think I have a lot of experience so it is looking good for me right now. well that about sums up my ffriday.
catch you guys soon
have you ever battled with your weight? or had a really important interview?