Judgement day

i want to hurt myself

and tell the world you did it

i want to scream, im in pain

but i never could admit it

i want to take all the hate

you put into my heart

i want to write it all on paper

and rip it all apart

i want to look at you with disgust

the way you looked at me

i want to hold up a mirror

so you can see what i had to see

i want to go back in time

and put up quite a fight

i want to be the one to win

but you keep me caged in fright

i want to be the one in control

and watch you shrink to the floor

i want to keep on hurting you

long after you scream no more

i want to watch you as a child

helpless and alone

i want to make you know

all the troubles that ive known

i want to make you yearn

for a love youll never get

i want to watch you run

into arms that pose a threat

i want to make you keep secrets

that made me go inside

i want to make you create

the only ones in whom you can confide

i want to take just one day

when our roles could be reversed

i want to make you hold the pain

and know that its the worst

i want to know that you understand

what your actions have done

i want to insure that in the future

your behaviors effect none

i want to warn the world

all youre capable of

i want to ban you from showing

your insincere kind of love

i want to but i cant

and theres only one thing to say

i want to let you know

everyone has a judgement day

Poetry, survival

Ice cold and numb to the bone

Trying to survive this all alone

Flashes of fright before my eyes

Cant get away from the bad guys

Seizing me in my dreams at night

I am unable even then to take flight

My response always seems the same

Inflicting pain, accepting the shame

I cant believe that I had no control then

I place my thoughts on the should have been

Why did I not once fight back, i wonder

Anger inside like rolling thunder

For all that happened I must blame me

Fault is placed on who its got to be

They are innocent and should be loved

Loyalty puts all above

Doesnt matter what they did

Doesnt matter I was just a kid

Its only right I give them all

Including my life, as to my knees I fall

I remain led by the fires light

As to my soul they hold tight

I give to them what they do not deserve

And for myself leave nothing in reserve

carol anne

stupid dumb poem by allie

slowly ticks the clock
the sound seems to mock
we’d go to bed but we forgot
memories make our brain rot
sun down to sun up we sit
thinking and thinking on it
the moon peaking in
reminds us of blood and sin
nightly torture deep in the past
so many years ago.. but it lasts
no way to shut off our mind
so day after day you’ll find
insomnia

allie

Halloween haunts me

the leaves change and it’s there
the reminder, a subtle dare
can i look back, do i want to see
will i ever get to just be
skeletons in my closet seem
to haunt me in my every dream
and the ghosts of the past arent silent
as the memories rage at me so violent
will a jack-o-lantern ever make me smile
or will the glowing face always be vile
children’s costumes hanging in the store
i want it to mean less, but it keeps being more
night brings fear, the smell of bon fires swell
i have no choice but to breathe in my own personal hell
laughter and drinking, parties and screaming in the night
they really don’t know the true meaning of fright

ria

Rejection

it’s knowing how hard life can be

and knowing before the age of three

its being rejected before you can speak

and living by it week by week

no hugs, no tickles, no high fives

nothing to show you exist, your alive

you cant be stirred from your bed

you are trying to get the nighttmare out of your head

Carol anne

Poetry

when your engulfed in a memory
and you simply cant see
that its now not then
and you are safe
no one will hurt you again
when the pain overflows
and it has nowhere to go
your tears fall like rain
and you think you’ll go insane
then you reach out your hand
pat your dog
that right there is love
love and security
and so you can see
that it is 2017
you are safe
in another time and in another place