FROM LIZ, IN A BIT OF A MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS!

WE ARE IN A MAJOR MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS! I AM IN SO MUCH TURMOIL! I STARTED FREAKING OUT EARLIER, AND I CANT CALM DOWN. I AM SOOO ANXIOUS. I HAVE HAD MEMORIES AND FLASHBACKS GOING ON FOR HOURS NOW. WE’VE BEEN SWITCHING LIKE CRAZY, I’VE JUST COME OUT LONG ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN TO WRITE THIS NOW. BEFORE THIS KIDS WERE ALL CRYING AND FREAKING OUT, TRIGGERFEST, WHAT A FUCKING MESS! WE ARE HAVING URGES TO SELF HARM, AND FEELING LIKE WE SHOULD JUST END IT. WE FEEL SO SO UNWELL AND VERY UNSTABLE. THINK I SHOULD TEXT EILEEN BUT DUNNO IF I CAN? AFRAID TO? JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA BOTHER HER? LIKE CAUSE WE ONLY SAW HER YANNO TODAY? AND MAYBE SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE BOTHERED? I NEED TO PUT MY FEARS ASIDE AND JUST TEXT HER! OMG GUYS I AM IN SUCH A MESS. I’M LITERALLY SHAKING FROM HEAD TO TOE! I CANT EVEN PUT WORDS TO THE MEMORIES. THEY’RE ALL JUMBLED SNIPPETS, NOTHINGS CLEAR. ALL I GET ARE GLIMPSES, BUT WHEN I TRY TO PIECE IT TOGETHER I CANT. MY ANXIETYS THROUGH THE ROOF! I AM SO, SO ANXIOUS. I AM ANCI AND JITTERY, AND CANT SIT STILL FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES! HELP SOMEONE HELP ANYONE I NEED SOMEONE! I AM NOT OK!
LIZ

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I’m feeling miserable

So I am feeling so miserable right now. I have an awful headache. I suppose drinking coffee isnt helping it. Its more like tention in my head than an actual headache, but it hurts a lot.
Did I mention I hate headaches of any kind? Well I do.
Its at the front of my head, kinda at the sides too. Its a dull achy kinda pain, absolutely horrible.
I hope it isnt gonna last all night. I’m not up for that. And I dont wanna feel so sick, or vomit with it, so I am hoping I won’t.
Send positive vibes to me, I need them…

Gonna have a therapy session with Eileen tomorrow!

So Eileen just called us! She said we’ve been on her mind a lot, and she wanted to know if we were free tomorrow to have a session then.
We jumped at the chance to do that!
She spoke to Allie too, because Allie had sent her a text to ask her if she was mad at us. Of course the answer was no!
So we’re going to see her tomorrow at 12:30 and we’ll have a good chat then!
Everything seems to be going good for us with our team all being so supportive and first today dr. barry rang us, and then eileen called us to fit us in even after we couldnt do our monday session!
I am so thankful to have such an amazing, incredible supportive team around me!
Eileen is just the best! I love that she thinks of us even outside of our session time with her.
We are incredibly lucky to have such an attuned therapist!
And Allie is happy now too and she’s stopped worrying!

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Im thinkin eileen might be mad at us?

Its allie. for ya’ll who dont know me im 9. im realy sad. and kinda freakin out. i think eileen might be mad at us. but im scared to ask her!
see we was meant to go to therapy on monday, but we had a migraine, and felt overwhelmed, so liz texted eileen to tell her we aint going. she asked eileen if we can reschedule, but eileen said she didnt have another time available, but if she gets a cancelation shed get in touch with us. but i am gessing nobody canceled cuz she never texted us.
but the text she sent us back after liz texted her was real short, and not how she normally writes. so what if shes mad at us?
do ya think i should ask her?
i want to but im so scared of the answer being yes!
allie 9

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Poem

anxious thoughts swirl around
my stomach clenches
intense feelings of overwhelm wash over me
an intensive pain
shoots through my body
like nothing I’ve ever known
I sit feeling dazed
wanting this overwhelm to end
wondering
when will this roller coaster of emotions stop
when can I get off?