Tag: Did

So well, I went to see Dr. barry. But I didnt actually see her. I had to see a junior doctor, her name was Jennifer. She was extremely nice, very friendly. I never knw Dr. Barry wouldnt be there today. She didnt know either it seems. Jennifer told me one of Dr. Barrys team passed away suddenly and Dr. Barry was attending the funeral this morning, thats why she wasnt at her outpatient clinic. When Jennifer called me I first said to her that I wasnt going to see her. But then when she told me the circumstances and why she was calling me instead of Dr. Barry I decided I’d give her a chance. And I am so glad I did. It was so worth it. She said I didnt have to tell her stuff if I wasnt comfortable, that there would be no pressure and that I could just tell her what I wanted to, what I felt comfortable talking about. That put me at ease right away, so much so that I did end up telling her a lot of stuff. I told her about the abuser contacting us, and how distressing that was for me. She sympathised, and said how sorry she was that that had happened. I told her I had did, and she said that she had never met anyone with it, and she knew very little about it. But she was open, and she didnt try to stop me from talking about alters, about symptoms of did, etc. She let me say exactly what I wanted to say. For that I am very grateful. I told her about Emilys distress lately, about how she’s been throwing up after we eat. I’m not sure if I mentioned that here or not. I may have, but I am not sure if I did. So anyway, we talked about sleep, she was very interested in hearing about our sleep issues. We did ask her to refer us to the weekend team, but she said she’d need to ask the consultant who was covering for Dr. Barry. So she left the room to ask her, and I waited. When she came back, she said that they’d decided that on wednesday, she’d speak to Dr. Barry. Since she knows me, they wanted to leave it up to her as to whether she wanted to refer me to the weekend team. So she’s going to talk to her on wednesday and then if she refers me the team will contact me at the weekend. I said I was ok with that plan of action. I’d rather Dr. Barry makes the referral anyway, because she knows my history and she’ll know what issues to put on the referal form. I have another appointment to see Dr. Barry in two weeks. But Jennifer told me that if I did get suicidal or wanting to self harm, to either present to my GP or else go to the emergency room to be seen. I said I would. We did discuss suicidal thoughts, since we’ve been having those too lately. And since the contact last week, they’ve gotten worse. I told her I was seeing Eileen tomorrow, and we’ll discuss all of this stuff. Thank god for Eileen. Where would I be without her? I dont actually know how I’d cope. I probably would be in the hospital now if I didnt have her. She’s a life saver and I am so grateful to have her. I do hope Dr. Barry refers me to the weekend team. Or else maybe she’ll ask Sarah to call me. I wont know until later in the week what the outcome will be. But I am glad I decided to give Jennifer a chance. I’ve decided that she’s going to make a really good doctor. She seems so open and willing to learn. Thats how a doctor should be. Some arent though. I am sad we didnt see dr. barry today though. But that couldnt be helped. Usually if she wasnt going to be there someone would call me to let me know. They must have forgot. Its ok though, I managed, I am actually very proud of myself for seeing ennifer, that was huge for me. I never see junior doctors. That was a big step for me to take, but I’m happy I did it.