My sleep is all messed up

My sleep is so messed up. Its my own fault. I didnt get much sleep last night. I got all of 3 hours. I didnt fall asleep until after 3 AM. Woke again at 6:30, so got up then.

By 4 Pm today I was exhausted. So after mom and my sister left I went to bed. Managed to fall asleep almost right away, and slept until 9:30. Woke once at about 7 PM and let nitro out. Was too tired to stay up though so went back to bed again.

Will probably be up all night now. When I woke at 9:30 I made coffee. I’ve already had 3 cups since I woke up. I also facetimed sarah. We sure know how to talk, we were on the phone for over 2 hours. Good thing neither of us has to pay for it.

Now I’m just messing around on the computer. I did email and made more tea.

Seeing Dr. Barry tomorrow morning at 11:30. Cant wait. Its my last apt with her before christmas.

Its emily

hi its emily. i been listening to christmas music. i love it. i was playing a christmas music playlist on amazon music. I just asked alexa to play me some christmas music and lots of cool songs came on. it helped me to stay calm. i love listening to music. its so much fun.

we called our mom but she’s gone to her brothers house for the evening. we still talked to her though. then we called our dad to see if we won anything in the lottery. we didnt. we had no luck tonight on it.

i gotta tell our mom to bring some cards over tomorrow. we need to write a christmas card for eileen and one for dr. barry. our mom will help us to do it. we are gonna see both of them this week and it will be our last time seeing them before christmas. so we need to give them their cards then.

I am looking forward to that. I like to give them cards. We wont be able to write all of our names on the cards though. There are way too many of us to do that. Probably we’ll just write Carol annes name on the cards. They’ll know we all wanted to give them a card. We’ll tell them they are from us all.

I think I’m going to go make a cup of tea. It doesnt matter if we’re awake late tonight. We can sleep in tomorrow. We have no need to get up early. Anxiety will probably keep us up tonight anyway. Its pretty bad at the moment.
Butterfly hugs,
Loves you,
emily age 12

In crisis, and The plan for today

The plan today was for me to visit my friend norma. We were going to exchange christmas gifts. So at 2:45 Pm I went over to her place. We had a good time, and we did exchange gifts. I had got her perfume, it was called flowers. I was hoping she’d like it and I wasnt disappointed. She loved it. She got me a gift set with a ton of shower products in it. There was about six different things in the set. Its lovely and I really loved it. We had a good catch up. She’s recently started with a new therapist so she told me all about her. I listened and tried to be supportive. I’m feeling kind of bla today. I feel like I am a little bit in crisis. I am feeling emotional and very anxious. I didnt tell her that though. I didnt want to worry her. She’s a terrible worrier and I knew if I told her that I wasnt ok she’d spend the whole evening worrying. I’ve decided I am going to use my distraction techniques this evening. I came home a few minutes ago. I cooked dinner and now I am on my laptop. I will read for a while later and watch a little bit of TV. I can always email Eileen if I need to, and actually any of us who want to can email her. Its not immediate and she doesnt usually respond to emails, but the way I am feeling I think I can manage, as long as I know that she’s recieving the emails and reading them I am ok. I dont see Eileen until thursday of this coming week, but I will see Dr. barry on Monday morning. So all will be fine. I can manage until then. I’m not at my parents this weekend. I am staying home in my own house. Our weather is meant to turn icy and sleet and snow are meant to fall overnight. My plan is to stay indoors with my heat on. Wrap up warm and snuggle up with Nitro. Crisis or no crisis I will manage. I can do this. I’ve managed during worse times. I’ll take an extra clonadine if I need to. I’m only meant to take one but I’m sure Dr. barry wont mind if I do that. I’ll tell her if I do it. I probably wont, but knowing that I can if I need to is helping me.

Updating my macbook

I cant sleep. So I decided to update my macbook.  I updated the operating system. It took about an hour. Its all done now though. And I am still not tired.  Its after 2:30 Am now.  I doubt I am going to go to bed at all tonight. At least taylor and the rest of the kids are doing a little better.  They werent so good earlier on.  I have a busy day tomorrow.  My PA frances is coming at 9 AM.  She’ll be here until 11:30 and then later in the day I am going out with my mom and sister, we’re going to see the cocacola truck, and taking the kids to see santa. I am hoping to get a pic of the truck, and possibly even get a pic with ne next to the truck.  Well I am going to go now.  Happy Friday everyone!

Zero to switchy in 60 seconds, thats me!

I’m a switchy mess right now! I went from being nice and calm a few mins ago, to being a crying anxious mess!
Zero to 50 alters in sixty seconds, thats us!
Ok I’m slightly exagerating, but really? We’re rapidly switching and we call it roladexing when more than one of us is out in a short amount of time.
Its super frustrating. I can barely keep up. There are kids screaming for attention, teens wanting to come out and do their own thing, and then there are the rest of us adults, who are trying to simmer things down and curb the anxiety.
Its not working very well as you can see from the scattered post!
I need a shirt that says, zero to 40 in seconds, thats did!