Just 1 week

thats how long more we gotta wait until we see eileen again.
it feels like forever. but its just 7 days. thats what i keep telling myself. 7 days, we can do it. we will make it.
we’ve been emailing her a lot. i hope she wont mind that we did. if she does im sure she’ll tell us.
7 days, the counting begins now, just 1 week to go.

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Good morning from our crew

i’ve been awake all night. got no sleep. just couldnt settle. so stayed up and online. did a catch up on my email. read for a while. listened to a talk show on the radio. its now 6 AM. I just fed nitro. He wolfed his breakfast down. I think its safe to say he’s back to his normal self again. I’m so happy about that. I am going to head down to the basement club this morning. It opens at 9:30. I will spend the day down there. Other than that not much is up here. Well, I am off to make a cup of coffee now. Catch ya’ll later!
carol anne

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Back to the basement club

im thinking about going to the basement club later today. i havent been there in a few weeks.

the new staff started last week. I need to go meet them and get acquainted.

I am nervous to meet them. I have a lot of anxiety around it.

Im sure all of the members do though. Its not easy learning to trust new staff. The old ones were there for years.

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Sending emails to my therapist

i just emailed eileen to tell her of my good weight loss news. she’s had a number of emails from us today, from distressed kids, from a stressed out jade, and now from me, to tell her of our weight loss result. I hope she doesnt mind all the emails. It helps us feel close to her. She did say we could write, I am hoping now that she isnt feeling sorry that she said that to us. We kinda took her up on that offer lol.
carol anne

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From Jade

So I emailed eileen! I told her I am dealing with some very distressed kids! They’ve been crying all day! They are missing her lots! I told them she’s thinking of them and she will be back very soon! I dont think it helped! I told them I’d email her so that she’d know they were missing her. So I hope she’ll check her email tonight. She said she’d be checking it daily but that she wont respond while she’s away which is fair enough. Its hard for the kids. She’s their safe person, or one of them, Dr. barry being their other safe person, and now she’s away too so its doubly hard for them. I think maybe I need to sit down with the kids and read them a book maybe one of the books we have about feelings and let them know its ok to feel how they feel. Maybe that will help them.

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Lets do this!

and with no sleep gotten tonight, I will get up and face the day!
I can do this, I can, I can!
Or can I? 😀
Heres hoping! Shower here I come!
Ready, set, go Carol anne go! 😀
God I dont wanna move guys! I really want to sleep but my time for doing that has gone!
Well okaaay…lets do this!

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Med talk

so I haven’t updated on how taking my meds has been going in a while. Its going relatively well. We still do forget them occasionally, but more often than not we’re taking them and doing it correctly. I guess that’s progress. Its hard, dissociation makes it hard to always remember them. We really have to work hard to actually remember. We tried delegating the job of taking them to lottie, but that didn’t really work out, as Lottie wasn’t out enough to keep track properly. She still does like to have the job of being in charge of them though. Like of making sure no one is stockpiling them or making sure that the right amount of pills are out for each day. She did take them too for a while but like I said shes not out enough to do it every day. So the task has fallen to me, of Jade, or Amy. That’s ok though. Between us 3 we’re managing. I’ve had no side effects either from going back on all of our meds. That pleases me. I hate side effects. The only meds we aren’t back on fully now are lyrica and Prozac. We’re back taking everything else properly. I think over the next month of two we’ll probably go back on the rest of the meds. Probably after dr. barrys vacation she’ll start us back on them. I’m happy I can report that things seem to be going fine. Its a huge relief to me.