when all else fails
when nothing is going right
hope is what keeps us going
the fuel the heart lives on
hope, hope is what we all need
hope is what we need to breathe
so breathe hope into your soul
and watch it grow
watch how you start to change
life looks up
when hope is found
surround yourself with hope
hope that things will get better
there are people out there
people who care
people who love you
People who will give you the moon
always, have hope!
ITS A SHIT NIGHT. I FEEL AWFUL. IS ANYONE AROUND? COULD REALLY USE SOME SUPPORT.
MEMORIES SUCK. REALLY FUCKING SUCK. I FEEL LIKE TOTAL SHIT. I JUST WANT OUT! OUT OF THE INTERNAL CHAOS AND HORRIBLE FLASHBACKS.
THE FLASHBACKS ARE THE ABSOLUTE PITS. I HATE HAVING TO GO THROUGH THEM. THINK ITS TIME TO TAKE MY 3 MG OF PRAZOSIN. TAKE IT AND TRY TO SLEEP. THINK THAT IS BEST.
IF ANYONE IS AROUND I COULD USE A FRIEND. SOME MORRAL SUPPORT.
yeah! it sure is! hahaha 😀
tomorrow morning I have to go to my GP. I have to get bloods taken. I am having a full blood count and having my thyroid, cholesterol and kidneys and liver checked, as well as also having an A 1 C done.
I hate needles. I am very nervous about going. I dont want to be stuck with a needle! I hope the nurse is good and will tell me before she actually takes the blood.
More to the point, I hope she can actually get a vein! I have awful veins! I mean they are really bad. Sometimes doctors cant even get a vein to come up thats how bad they are. So heres hoping the nurse can find one.
I am having my last cup of coffee now. I have to fast from midnight. I am hoping I will get good results and that maybe my diabetes is reversed if I am lucky! I wont know the results for about a week though.
so I had a fab workout! I did well! I went on the treadmill for 25 mins, and the bike for 10 mins! I did 1 KM on the treadmill and 2 KM on the bike! I feel great! It has really lifted my mood to exercise!
I’m all set now for the rest of the day! When I came out of the gym I went and bought a sandwich for my lunch, I chose chicken and stuffing, on brown bread! So a healthy option for lunch! I already ate it once I got home! I was starving as all I’d eaten was some fruit this morning.
A funny thing happened. When I got my taxi to go home, I told the driver I was going to my own house. The driver knew me, he usually picks me up. He thought I’d said I wanted to go to my parents house though! So he brought me there instead of bringing me home! Luckily I noticed when we got out of the car. He was kind and said it was his mistake and brought me home and didn’t charge me anything extra for the extra journey!
I’m just relaxing now for a few hours before I am going out again to go volunteering. My supervisor called me, she’s picking me up at 2 PM. I am tanked up on coffee now so my energy levels are good! 🙂
Well I did it. I braved the store with my mom. I got what I needed and I managed, it wasn’t too bad actually. My anxiety was less by the time I actually got there. So I made it, I am very proud. It feels good to have accomplished that today. Now I have what I need grocery wise for the week…yay. I usually love spending the one to one time with mom just going there, and doing that activity. It is a little mother and daughter time that I really love a lot. We usually talk a lot and it is nice to be able to do that. Right now I am feeling ok, the anxiety is gone. I have eaten dinner we had yummy lamb chops, normally we have a big roast dinner on a sunday, but my sister went to her partners family this week so mom decided that her and my dad and me would just have lamb chops so that is what we had. They were nice too I hadn’t had them in ages. I am feeling great now and looking forward to a chill afternoon where I will do absolutely nothing. I hope your all having a great sunday. Thanks for reading.
Take me away from all this anxiety, please!
Someone rescue me! I hate this! It feels so crappy!
I feel like shit!
I am not. Ok! Not not not!
I am trying things, believe me I am. I just emailed my therapist and am hopeful she’ll respond.
Normally she doesn’t but occasionally she will if she feels its warranted.
Hoping today she does. I need to go to the store soon with my mom for a few things and my anxiety is through th eroof about it.
I don’t feel like I can deal with the crowds of people at the store!
I will go because I have to but I wish I didn’t!
Woke up anxious. Ug. This sucks.
Woke at 6, couldn’t settle down again so got up.
Still feel really on edge and anxious. And god I hate anxiety.
I think I need to make tea. Mom and dad are still in bed but should be awake soon.
Im really not feeling good this morning.