struggling…Plummeting

I am really struggling. My mental health has plummeted. I feel very distressed, very down, very overwhelmed, and emotionally unwell.
Dr. Barry has offered to see me face to face again. We had an apt yesterday, a phone apt. She said if I wanted to I could come in, its the only way I’ll get to sort out my meds, and try to fix this.
The ptsd and dissociation are so bad. I’m trying to manage, but its getting harder and harder, I’m honestly faking it, I go through each day trying to fake it until I make it. Its not good.
I dont want to end up in the hospital. I jus cant go there right now. I want to do something to fix this situation.
I am a bit scared, I am scared of my emotions, I’m in a very bad headspace at the moment, and on most nights my sleep is fucked. Like tonight. I only slept for 3 hours. I’ve been awake now since 12:30. I lay back down for an hour but I didnt sleep. I couldnt sleep.
I am so hoping going in to see Dr. Barry in person is going to help me. At least it’ll be better than trying to discuss things over the phone. It has to be better than that. We can have a good long discussion and maybe come up with a plan. My fingers are crossed.
But I have to wait 2 weeks now before I see her. I hope I can cope for the next 2 weeks. I might be doing a lot of writing on here and needing a lot of extra support.

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