I cant sleep. So I decided to blog.

Its 3 AM. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. I’ve had too much caffeine.

I’m cooking sheppards pie tomorrow. I love that dish. I will eat it for my lunch once its cooked. Watch for photos of the finished product some time during the day.

I hope I’ll be going volunteering today. I’m not sure yet whether I will, because one of the vans that ferries residents around is broken, so it might be that I cant go for another week. I hope thats not the case though.

I have one week left to turn my assignment in for college. Its a book review. I’m no where near done with it. I’m going to have to get cracking on it this week so that I will have it completed for next Tuesday.

Is anyone else up?


Morning has come and I feel good :P

so yeah got 4 hours of sleep. thanks for all of your warm thoughts, hugs and support last night. it meant a lot. thanks to DV and skye for standing up for me for what liz wrote. she really didn’t mean to upset me and I wasn’t upset really. i’m used to her. she does that sort of thing a lot, and she finds things humourous and funny that maybe others wouldn’t, and really she has no filter she just speaks her mind. i’m used to it by now. it really doesn’t bother me that much. idid password th epost though because I really don’t want everyone to read that. I thought of taking it down and then I decided that I wouldn’t, because while its about me and what I said and did, its liz’s thoughts, and I didn’t want to sensor her thoughts.
this morning I am cooking chili and when I have it made I will post a pic here. I’m looking forward to cooking it. I haven’t ever tried it before on my own, well I’ll have help but you know what I mean I haven’t ever cooked a chili from scratch.
I’ll be heading home today a day early for my assessment tomorrow. I’m nervous about tomorrow but trying to stay focused and positive. mostly other insiders are a little freaked out so I am trying to soothe the kids and be the strong one.
carol anne


Today Friday I had to go home early from the ILS course. I had a migraine.

It came on quite suddenly. I think half the problem was I was really tired. I always get headaches when I feel exhausted.

I asked if I coule go home at noon, instead of at 2:30. My tutor said that was ok, but she needed to write up an incident report, because that was the rules, in case the centre was inspected for health and safety standards etc.

A whole lot of bullshit if ya ask me but who am I to say?

I just said ok and got ready to go home.

I went to mom and dads. Had dinner there, then went and lay on the couch for a while and slept. When I woke the headache was gone.

The rest of my Friday was good. I wrapped some xmas gifts, and wrote some xmas cards. I watched some tv, and went online, and slept some more.

Being a nightowl

yes thats me, a nightowl. i cant sleep. probably because i slept late today, until 1:15 PM. so now I am up. its gone 2 AM. of course I’ve had plenty of cups of coffee. I started the prazacin tonight. 1 mg of it. so far no side effects thank goodness. liz is struggling tonight. she said she is feeling depressed. apathetic. she wrote a poem about it and after writing she said she felt better. when liz struggles it effects me. that is because we are connected. we feel each others feelings and when one of us does bad then the other usually is doing bad too. i’m sitting here now listening to apple music and catching up on blog ; posts. Is anyone awake? Are you struggling tonight? If so I’m here, struggling too, reach out to me and we can chat.

socs nov 18th so a little late-Oi!

Oi, sup people! Its me with another installment of my crazy life. i’m very very tired! but unable to sleep. i decided that maybe if i shouwered sleep might come you know warm water, relaxation time, etc? but no! not a hope! where am i going wrong! its either no sleep or sound sleep but no inbetween! at least i have the prazazin to try now though, along with a sleep med, zimovane! for four nights dr. barry has prescribed zimovane, so i hope that will help too. i just took my night meds a couple minutes ago. think i will go watch a little tv before i go to bed. not sure what i should watch though. maybe fuller house, or just full house the old show, thats light, and nice and tame. and i need tame! no triggers before bed! tomorrow i am making my xmas cake. i am excited. i wont ice it tomorrow but the main cake will be made. i’ll be sure and post a picture! so watch out for it tomorrow at some point. its been a pretty productive week so far this week on the ILS course. we did team work, personal effectiveness, career preparation, and tomorrow we’ll have health and nutrition, they are cooking soup again though, i’m like i dont want to cook soup again! so many of them on the course wont eat anything they are plain eaters, so a lot of recipes are out but i’m lucky, i get to cook my own stuff so thats good i get to make what i want and i plan on making a lot of different foods. i plan on making chili, and spaghetti bolognes, and lasagna, and red pepper and butternut squash soup, and shepherds pie, and pasta bake, and casserole too! as well as a few cakes and other delicious gooddies thrown in for good measure! do you like to cook or bake? do you have any favourite shows on tv right now or from the past? are you a night owl or a morning person?
catch yall soon guys! ❤ xxx


I’m in the middle of volunteering at cork city partnership right now. I’m really tired today. I almost fell asleep during my digital media class this morning. I went to bed around 2 AM and I managed to sleep, and I slept so soundly once I dropped off that I never woke up until one of the staff came in at 7:30 to call me. Even then I struggled to get out of bed.
So I’m pretty wrecked today. My eyes just keep closing. Its terrible.
I’m not too busy this afternoon though. So thats good at least.
I’m on reception…answering the phones and typing up emails and things.
I love this volunteer job. I love the people here. They’re all so lovely.
I get treated so respectfully and it feels so good, like I am a part of their team.
I’m finishing up here at 4:30 and going to mom and dads for something to eat before heading out to college for 7 PM.
I’ll get back to abode for about 10:30 pm.
Hoping I can manage to stay awake until then.
carol anne

Tomorrows plans

plans for tomorrow have changed a little bit. I was supposed to bake my xmas cake but now I wont be baking it until Thursday. that is because cora, the staff member whose assisting me cant come in, something personal going on for her not sure what it is, but she wont be able to do it, so i’ll have to do it on Thursday and then ice it next week with mom. the icing is only roll out icing so mom can help me with that. and its best to leave the cake for about a week before icing it. the class are going on a field trip tomorrow, to a place called national learning network, they are going to look at options for further training there should they wish to pursue it since two of the class are leaving soon as their time on the course is up. i’m not going with them because I know about the national learning network already and I have been there to study so I decided I wouldn’t go. so I will just stay behind and do college work, its not like I don’t have a lot of that to catch up on. I said I was having a nearly night tonight but it looks like i’m not. I took meds and tried to lay down but I couldn’t sleep so got up again. its very warm in my room. the heating is turned up full blast and I don’t think I can turn it off. I was going to go have a shower but i’m not sure I should or whether to wait until morning. its just if I don’t sleep good then i’ll be super tired tomorrow morning and wont feel like jumping in the shower. at least I passed my risk assessment though so I can now make tea and coffee in my room. I will post the results of my assessment in another post. kim, the girl doing it had good things to say about my abilities to use equipment and navigate my surroundings confidentally. she also made recommendations for things that could be done to make it easier for me to do things and get around and be safe when making hot food etc. nitro is curled up by my feet, he’s a happy boy tonight. i’m mostly happy too 🙂