PA stuff

so i’ve emailed the people who provide my PA service this morning. I was clear in the email about what I need in a PA going forward.
The person in the office said they’d try their best to get me someone that will suit my needs. Kristen finishes with me on Thursday. I dont want to be without a PA but I fear I may be without someone for a couple of weeks.
I told the office I need someone who can provide a driving service if that is possible. Otherwise it will get expensive paying for taxi’s to and from the grocery store. Yes we pay the PA for gas but what we pay the PA is minimal compared to the expense of getting a taxi.
So we shall see. Only time will tell if I get someone who drives or not.
I really am hoping for a good match. Who I get is important to me. Its important I can relate to them and I am able to get along with them. Their personality traits are important to me.

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no college tonight and other things

so i found out that the college i go to is closed today. so i have no classes tonight. so that gives me time to get caught up on my reflective learning journal, of which i have two weeks to catch up on, but am i doing that? noooo, of course I’m not. I’m procrastinating.
Kristen came this morning…it was her second last day of working with us. She did some cleaning, went to starbux for us, and helped us make breakfast. we got a pumpkin spice latte in starbux. it was delicious, my first one of the season.
i decided to go stay with mom and dad tonight and tomorrow night. i’m going to see dr. barry tomorrow morning, and then in the afternoon I’m going to a conference on mental health, run by the counselling service at the basement club. my friend norma is coming with me. it should be good. the theme of it is mind your mind.
i read this morning on facebook that another storm is set to hit us at the weekend. not as bad as ophelia but still bad enough with high winds and lots of rain. thats all we need…

i waas fraid of strom

its elane i five
i was fraid of strom
i hate them
thay mak me so skard
i not lik rain and wind
or funder but ther waas no funder
jus wind and rain
and we hid frum it
but carol anne maked us chiken nugets
and onion rings
amy wanted onion rings
she is so funy she loves them
i lov chiken nugets wif tamato katchup
yaah thats yumy
so i ate dem wif darina and lexi and taylor and erika
now i snugled up uner a blanket
it a horse blanket
carol anne has tha radio on
and we hav ar laptop and we ar warm and cosey
elane

we are ok after the storm!

everything is ok again, the storm is over.
things are going back to normal. although lots of people are without power, but we didnt lose ours. over 200 thousand people lost theirs though and are without it.
it will take days to restore the power. I’m grateful we didnt lose ours.
the schools were closed on monday, and they are closed today tuesday also. most places were closed. the A and E department of the hospital was open but any outpatient parts of hospitals were closed. My home help was off work too. So I had to fend for myself and cook my own meal.
I cooked chicken nuggets and onion rings. the kids were delighted with that. my sister had given us homemade vegetable soup and we made ham sandwiches with it and had that for lunch. they’ve been hiding all day because of being scared so they enjoyed coming out to eat.
I need to go to my college’s website to see if they’re closed today tuesday. Also first thing this morning I need to see if the partnership where I volunteer is opening today.
if not i’ll stay home all day. my pa kristen can hopefully come this morning and we can clean my house and she can help me make breakfast of sausage and hash browns.
thanks to everyone for the good thoughts and for worrying about us.
your all such amazing friends. dont know what we’d do without you.
carol anne

Poetry

My heart beats fast
I am sucked into the past
I kick, I scream
To no avail
I cant get away from it
I just have to sit with it
It threatens to pull me under
I fight to get back on even ground again
I count to 10
As i exhale
Breathe, I tell myself
Constantly reminding myself its over
I’m not back there
I’m here
Here in my house
with my dog
My stuff all around me
I am free
In the free world
and its 2017

Storm ophelia

we are getting the tail end of storm ophelia tonight. it is supposed to start at 9 PM. Please pray we’ll be ok.
There is supposed to be a lot of heavy rain and high winds. Its a status red weather warning.
Eileen just texted me and asked me if I’d prefer to cancel our session for tomorrow. As much as I didnt want to cancel it, I said maybe we should. I am afraid of something happening while I am traveling.
She has a heart of gold, to text me on a sunday, think of me and of my safety…in fact the words she said to me were, I dont want you to take any unnecessary risks.
So I wont. I’ll have a chill out day at home tomorrow.
Please send good vibes our way guys.
carol anne

one week to go

so i only have one week to go before we start the independent living skills course. with each day that passes i get more and more excited. this is a great opportunity. not only do i gain skills but i am in a supported environment with other disabled people and staff to help me. this is great and i think we will really benefit from being there. i know the staff arent trained in handling mental health difficulties, but they do know we have did and ptsd, and they are ok with it. we can tell them things like that we feel anxious, etc. we dont have to tell them the full extent of things if we get triggered, so as not to freak them out completely. im hoping though we dont get triggered too often. there are two other people there who have mental illnesses as well. both of them are in wheelchairs. i know they struggle because they both told me. i’ve been preparing for going, getting laundry ready, fixing up my house etc. the great thing is they have transportation there, so it means i will be able to keep my apt to see dr. barry because they will take me there. I will also be able to continue my volunteering as well as part of the course. I was delighted about that. I didnt want to give up volunteering! so yeah just so excited. there is also a nervous anxiousness running through my body!
carol anne