Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.
Roy T. Bennett
We just arrived at our apartment in Killarney. It’s really lovely. We are just settling in now. Later we are going in to town to do a bit of shopping and have food. The weather is even cooperating. It’s 14 degrees c here now. We are here until Sunday. Tomorrow it’s Lauren’s birthday. We might go billing tomorrow if we have time. I’ll post more later tonight.
I woke up anxious! God I feel awful! I feel so agitated!
I cant put my finger on why though!
Ug this bloody sucks!
I am going away for the weekend today. In about 3 hours. I want to feel ok for it! I hate that I am so anxious!
My head is pounding. My heart is thumping. My arms are heavy. My breathing hurts. Its shallow and hard to just breathe.
We dreamed weird things last night. I dont actually remember them now but I do remember they were weird. I wish I could remember the dreams. I guess at least they werent nightmares. Thats something at least.
Dinner last night was really good. There were about 25 of us altogether. The food was so good. We had a really great time.
I had italian style meatballs for my main. And buffalo chicken wings for a starter. It was yummy.
I came home and I went to bed to read. I started a new book. The new cathy glass book, finding stevie, I am loving it. Its so good. Its about a boy whose gender fluid and who comes to cathy as a foster placement. Its about his struggles. And what happens to him.
I just wish I could make the anxiety go away. Maybe I’ll go talk to mom. Maybe having a conversation with someone will distract me from it. I hope so. I think I’ll also start thinking about all the fun we’ll have this weekend.
We’re staying in an apartment, there is me, mom, my sis, my sis’s 2 kids, and their cousin and her mom. So it should be fun. I will be updating over the weekend. And posting photos and maybe even some video too.
Its my nieces birthday tomorrow. We’re going shopping for the day. And then at night we’re going for a meal. I am looking forward to all that. I am planning on buying some new clothes.
Well I’m going to go now. If anyone has any advice for me I’d appreciate it. Thanks guys!
I’m not going to get weighed in tonight, I decided not to go, not because I don’t think I’ve lost weight, but just because I was feeling bad and so I decided to take a break, I’m not going either next week because I’m going to a show in our city next week on the same night that slimming world is on. But that’s okay. I started feeling a little bit better so I’m going to go to the gym, I wasn’t going to go but then I decided I better get my butt in gear and do a bit of exercise, it will do me good. The weather is bad it’s raining heavily. I’m getting a taxi though so that’s okay, I won’t get wet. I’m not sure I’d have lost any weight though if I did go to slimming world tonight. I weighed myself this morning on my own scales at home and it said I was the same as I was last week. So who knows, I guess I shouldn’t weigh myself on my own scales but I just want to see you know I wanted a ballpark figure.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
Someone said that to me today. In response to me saying I felt unstable.
Seems a rather odd thing to say, but on reflection its so true. And that my friends is more than one line, but oh well. It is what it is.
I clutch at straws. I am fine, I tell myself. I will be fine.
Do I believe it? Hell no.
Emotionally I am unwell, unstable, very, very much so.
I clutch at straws in the hopes it will all be ok, and I will get through it. Really though? I am unsure.
But it helps to try to remember, I’ve gotten through this before. I have made it out the other side in the past. This too shall pass, that is going to be my new motto.
And just for today, I will be kind to myself. I will do some self care. I will work on remembering to breathe, I will smile and I will say to myself, I am a survivor.
Always keep fighting! ❤
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Todays Prompt: Write a piece using the phrase;explicit emotion
her eyes leak
as she sits
shaking like a leaf
it builds and builds
its a tornado
written all over her face
fear, so so much fear
she grips the table
as her head swims
everything begins to blurr
she starts to remember
holding her breath
she starts to cry again
but that fear
the fear of knowing but not wanting to know
what happened to her
is so real
And she thinks
She’s going to die from it.
Shirley, our host wrote this poem, in response to thinking about her childhood and what happened to her during it.