Suicidal

I feel so suicidal. I don’t want to be here. My thoughts are so muddled. I want an end to the pain, I want to stop it all, and stop existing. I just want an end to it. I really don’t want to be here. Woke up feeling like this. I just feel so bad. I’m safe, but the thoughts of dying are there. Ug this sucks.

its me emily. I really want to die!

hhihihihii everybody
its me Emily. I feel so bad.
I don’t want to be here
I don’t want to be alive
I want to end it
I want to go away forever
I am so so scared
scared of my memories
scared of my feelings
scared of the abusers
I want to end it because I feel we’d be better off if I did
i’d be finally happy
happier than I am now
i’d be out of pain
there’d be no more pain no more sadness
we’d be at peace
I cant take it any more I realy cant
I hate myself and I hate my body
I hate how I look
I hate life
I just cant do this
im not going to do anything ok guys
I just feel like I want to
but im safe
I promised Eileen I wouldn’t do anything to the body
and i’ll keep my promise to her
cuz I don’t want to disappoint her
but it don’t stop me feeling like I want to
butterfly hugs
loves you
Emily

Suck it up buttercup

my emotions are scary. i’m scared. but I was told. suck it up. so suck it up I will. suck it up buttercup. suck it up and deal. the world does not revolve around you. you are just one of millions of people. lots of people get emotional. lots of people find it hard to cope. lots of people have shitty things happen to them. yes. yes they do. so suck it up. deal with it. life goes on. it might go on. but without me. I wont be here. i’m don’e. finished. finite. cant do this any more.