so we were meant to have therapy this morning, at 9:40, 20 minutes before we were due to start our session my phone rang. It was eileen. I was in the kitchen and my phone was in the bedroom, as soon as I heard her name spoken I ran to pick it up. She told me that she’d have to cancel our session. Someone in her family had to go get tested for coronavirus, it wasnt her, she didnt tell me who it was, but she said she had to take them. I dont know if it was her husband, her son, or who it was. She said we’d reschedule for this evening, and that she’d text me later on. I told her that that was fine, and not to worry about me, I am fine, and to go do what she needed to do. She thanked me and promised to get back to me later in the morning. And true to her word she did about 2 hours later she texted me and we rearranged for tonight, and I’ve just had my session I had it at 6:30 this evening. She said she didnt think her family member is going to test positive, but they’ve had some of the symptoms so it was best to get them tested just to be sure. But she told me not to worry that she thinks its all going to turn out ok. Of course I am still worrying. I dont want Eileen to get sick. I do hope that her family member doesnt have coronavirus. Please pray if you do pray. I am glad we still got to have a session. She told me that actually after canceling our session she got a text cancelling the test until 3 Pm today so she could have actually done our morning session. We laughed about it then saying after all that and she could have done it. I just hope everything will be ok. I’m praying hard. My anxietys up again but we worked on it in our session. It was good, and I do feel less anxious now. I feel solid, grounded, calmer. I am so glad I got to connect with eileen. She makes me feel amazing and she has such a calming presence. I am thankful for her every day.
I am so anxious! I feel absolutely terrible!
I want to cancel my therapy session this morning! That’s not a good sign, as I almost never want to do that. I’m not gonna cancel it, but I really don’t feel up to having a session this morning.
However, I’ll push on through. I’ll tell Eileen how I am feeling. Maybe putting words on it is going to help me. I hope so!
I have 3 hours before the session. I need a cup of coffee and a good cry. I really feel like shit!
Is anyone around? Could use some support if you are!
So in order to keep it real, I’ve decided to keep blogging about my therapy process, and I will be updating here, since some people prefer it to email. So what I am gonna do is put the updates behind a password. So from now on all of the posts containing therapy material will be passworded, so if you’d like to have the password please let me know in the comments section. or you can contact me via my contact page on here also. This new policy will take effect immediately, but it is just the therapy posts which will have a password on them!
Let me know if you want it!
to all of my readers,
I’m thinking of taking some stuff off the blog, like therapy updates. for now at least.
I have an email list where I will be posting my therapy updates.
Are any of you interested in joining it? If you want to receive updates on my therapy I will need you to subscribe to it.
I just want to keep things more manageable for now. And putting it on the blog is a little less private, and I’d prefer to keep it to a group of people I know and trust.
If you want to join my updates list, please leave a comment below, with the email address that you’d like me to invite you with.
If I’ve already invited you and your already on it that’s ok, I don’t need you to leave a comment.
If you would prefer to email me directly with your email address instead of leaving it on here then my email address is
Look forward to your emails!
ITS LIZ. TODAY DURING OUR SESSION SOME PARTS WERE FEELING VERY ANGRY. BUT WE DIDNT HAVE ANY WORDS. SO WE WERE DOING EMDR TO HELP US PROCESS SOME OF THE ENERGY SURROUNDING THE ANGER. WE DID AN EXERCISE WITH EILEEN WHERE SHE TOLD US TO TRACK OUR ANGER, TRACK ALL OF THE SENSATIONS IN OUR BODY, AND FOLLOW THEM. SO USING THE PULSERS AT FIRST, AND THEN WHEN THEY DIDNT WORK, EILEEN DID THE TAPPING ON OUR HANDS. AND IT WAS REALLY HELPFUL. ANYWAY, SHE HAD US DESCRIBE TO HER HOW WE FELT IN OUR BODY, THAT PART WAS HARD. THEN SHE SAID, NOW, IF YOUR ARMS COULD MOVE, WHAT WOULD THEY BE DOING? OUR IMMEDIATE ACTION WAS PUNCHING, SO SHE TOLD US TO DO WHAT WE FELT WE NEEDED TO WITH OUR HANDS AND ARMS. THAT FELT KINDA WEIRD TO ME THOUGH. SO THEN SHE SAID, CAN YOU PUSH YOUR HAND AGAINST MINE? SO I DID. AND SHE PUT PRESSURE ON AND I PUSHED, AND PUSHED, HARDER AND HARDER. SHE SAID IT FELT REALLY STRONG. IT SORT OF FEELS LIKE, WO! STEP BACK! SHE SAID. LIKE YOUR SAYING, IN THE PUSHING, NOBODYS GOING TO PUSH ME AROUND! THAT WAS EXACTLY IT! IT FELT SO GOOD THAT THE ANGER HAD SOMEWHERE TO GO, ALL OF THAT ENERGY, HAD SOMEWHERE TO GO. IT MADE US FEEL A SENSE OF RELIEF, A SENSE OF OH MAN THANK GOD! AND TO THINK WE ALMOST DIDNT GO TO THERAPY! IT WAS A REAL BATTLE TO GO BUT WHEN WE DID THAT PIECE OF WORK, MAN WAS I SO GLAD WE WENT! I EVEN SAID AS MUCH TO EILEEN, I TOLD HER HOW GLAD I WAS THAT WE PUSHED THROUGH OUR FEAR ABOUT GOING TO THERAPY AND IT PAYED OFF. I LOVE WHEN WE HAVE A GOOD SESSION. I MEAN WE MOSTLY ALWAYS DO BUT ITS NICE WHEN WE CAN DO A PRODUCTIVE PIECE OF WORK IN THERAPY.
so today in therapy we were using the pulsers, but half way through our work with them they stopped working, well one of them did. it just wouldnt work, it stopped vibrating.
eileen, being her awesome self, came up with a solution.
Is it ok if I do the tapping on your hands? She asked?
Uh, yeah, I guess so, I said.
So we ran with that. she helped me process some anger by tapping on my hands, and we worked with the anger until the energy shifted and I was able to process it a little.
I was so intrigued by the tapping she was able to get it to work, I couldnt believe it would work, we’d never done it like that, with her doing it instead of giving me the pulsers.
Just goes to show how good EMDR actually is!
I left the session feeling a lot lighter, a lot calmer, and a lot better.