today i saw dr barry. it went well as it always does. i was glad i got to see her. i had to cancel last week due to my aunts funeral, so i didnt see her last week. we talked about my aunts funeral today. and we talked about my really bad anxiety. she was curious as to why the anxiety was so bad. she wanted to know if i knew the link. i didnt really know. i took a guess and had a bit of a clue but am not sure or fully convinced. i told her i hadnt been sleeping well either. monday night being an awful night. last night was ok though, i told her it flucuates, i can sleep good for two or three nights, then i’m back to not sleeping again. its so frustrating. she did not really give me any new suggestions, just said we’d keep an eye on things. that will do for now. i still need to talk to her about meds, about the med for ptsd and night terrors. i havent done that yet. i forgot today. we talked about our assessment coming up on december 8th. i told heri had asked mom if she wanted to go but that she’d said no. she said she thought my mom found it really difficult to say things to me, and so it was probably hard for her to admit that she couldnt cope with going to it. i thought that is probably true. i also told her about saying to mom last night while we were on the phone, at the end of our conversation, i love you, and mom never said it back, but then when we hung up a couple minutes later a text came in and it said i love you too. i guess she couldnt verbalise it to me on the phone, it was easier for her to write it in a text. dr barry told me there is now a new social worker, to replace karen. her name is mary. i asked her if she is young or old, she said she wasnt as young as karen, but she wasnt that old either. she said she is a little overwhelmed having just started this week, so could we wait a week or two to do introductions. i said sure that’d be ok with me. we also chatted a bit about therapy. over all it was a very good session. it felt so good to see dr barry. safe, familiar, and most of all validating.
Therapy Bits 
The sleep stuff. I get it. I feel like if I have one night of good sleep, my body gets confused and thinks I don’t need any sleep the next night. I told Bea it’s just better to consistently sleep like crap and be up in the middle of the night. I know that’s not helpful but I just wanted to commiserate. I’m glad the session was good– safe, familiar and validating are wonderful feelings to have after a session. 💟
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Thank you Alice my friend you are always so supportive, I really appreciate it XXX❤️
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I’m glad you had so good session. 🙂 As for sleep, I experience smilar stuff too, sometimes I can sleep really well for a night or even a few, or when everything is relatively good it might even be a week or more of relatively good sleep and then I might not have any sleep at all for a night or very little sleep for even a week or more. On the other hand then I might have periods when I just sleep and sleep and sleep and despite so much sleep I feel tired when I wake up, so yeah… sleep issues absolutely suck. But I’m glad that DR Barry supports you with it. 🙂 That’s always something I think. 🙂
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I think there are probably lots of families where the words I Love You, don’t get verbalized. Nobody ever really said it in my family. It was assumed that you were supposed to already know that. Maybe the more you say it to your mom, the more she’ll get used to both hearing it and responding in some way.
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I hope so but I won’t hold my breath, I think she finds it hard, still, I will say it to her when I can
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Well even if you start getting texts from her that say it, that’s a start. I remember when I’d tell my dad that I loved him his response was always, (I know you do). I would have preferred “I love you too”.. I knew that he loved me, but it would have been nice to hear it.
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Yeah that’s what I think to, it’s nice to hear it
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Glad your meeting went well
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Thanks 🙂💝
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