An emotional goodbye to karen

so we did it, we said goodbye to karen today, it was intense, and very very emotional.
Dr. Barry was with us when we said goodbye to her.
It went like this.

Dr. barry to me towards the end of our session, ok I’ll text karen and let her know we’re ready for her to come join us.
About 2 minutes later, Karen walks in.

Karen: “all bubbly” hey hey hey! How are you!
I think she knew I was a mess and feeling so anxious and sad.
me: Um, ok I guess? You?
Karen: Oh look you brought nitro too so he can say goodbye too! Thank you! Did you tell him I’m going? He’s being so adorable!
Me laughing, he loves you Karen.
She sat down then and we chit chatted for a few minutes, us, dr. barry and karen. Chit chatted about dogs, and her mothers dog, then she said is this carol anne?
I was like yeah it is!
Hey kid, hows it going! She always calls me kid its her pet name for me!
Oh karen, I wish you werent going! I really really wish it.
I know change is hard. But you can do this. I have faith in you. Wow, she has faith in me. So now I cant let her down! She is pulling for me to get through this.
we talked about us having sarah the cpn and Karen was like, well she’s not as nice as me but she’s still fab! We all laughed then. Karen to me tell her I said that it will give her a laugh!
I pulled out the card then and the letter and handed them to her. She read them and was all emotional. Thank you guys! These are beautiful. I will proudly display with pride the card on my desk, I still have the last one you made me on my desk.
Have you got plans for the rest of this week? Me, noooo. No plans. Only my pa will be coming over tomorrow, but other than that, nothing. Might go to the basement club on Friday if I feel up to it.
You should! I know you love it there!
Me starting to cry, oh karen, I’ll miss you! Its ok Carol anne, its ok to miss people isnt it? Dont be hard on yourself. Your having a normal reaction.
Its going to be hard for me too. A new job, new people. I dont know any of them and they dont know me. I am so nervous. I’d love to think I might come back here some day. I’ve been with this team for 9 years. me 9 years? Wow has it been that long? Yep, she said. I am the longest serving member of the team.
Then it was time to finish up. Karen to me? Will I walk you out? me, ok, but can I give you a hug first? Of course you can, she came over and spread her arms wide, and I hugged her hard. Her long hair trailing down her back, its as long as mine.
I love you karen and no other social worker will ever replace you nobody will ever be as good as you.
karen, well as long as the new girl isnt boring…
Me: she’s gonna be inexperienced I’m sure.
Karen laughing: You’d get over the inexperience if she’s trying, but if she’s boring, there is nothing worse than boring.
me giggling, your a hoot karen, you really are.
We walked to the desk together and dr barry walked behind us. I made an appointment for two weeks time to see dr. barry. She’s on holiday next week.
I said goodbye again to karen with tears in my eyes, and then I said goodbye to dr. barry who gently patted my arm, and told me to take care of myself and she’d see me in two weeks. I told her to have a nice holiday and quickly walked outside.
I did it. I said goodbye, and managed somehow. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I did it. I’m proud.
carol anne

Author: Carol anne

I am in my mid 40's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland. View all posts by Carol anne