The scars on your face, the pain when you smile and the shame in your eyes – it is temporary 🙏

 

Read on for some inspirational words! ❤

via The scars on your face, the pain when you smile and the shame in your eyes – it is temporary 🙏

She’s leaving me

Hihihihii everyone
im so sad tonight. I wish Eileen doesn’t have to go to that conference in july. I feel like shes abandoning us. is that stupid? I feel so stupid. I want her to learn, but I just want her to also be here, not to leave us. it feels like she’s going to be gone for a long time, even though its only for a week.
I’ve been crying a lot tonight. I cant cope. I feel so sad. so upset and I want to tell her but I am scared. I am scared she’ll be mad at me. she probably wont, but the feelings wont go away. I feel like its super hard to just email her and tell her how I am feeling.
she’s said we’ll have another session on another day. that even if she’s not there on our Monday for our usual time, she’ll make time for us on another day in that week. so why am I making such a huge deal of this?
I don’t know. I just feel triggered. it feels like she’s leaving us. I don’t know why it feels so awful. I just feel so bad. I cant put words to it. my words are lost. gone. I cant find them.
do you think I should try to email Eileen? tell her how I am feeling?
I am just so nervous about doing that. not sure why. she’s never gotten mad at me, and actually, I think she’d be glad if I did email her.
I guess I just feel sad and I need support tonight. if anyones around, I can use a friend.
butterfly hugs,
love
Emily

God I hate this…

I’m sitting here bawling. I cant stop crying. I hate memories. I hate them with a passion. I don’t want to remember! I want to just quit! I cant take it! The memories came tonight out of the blue! I just started having awful flashbacks, its so horrible. I am literally sitting here in a panic. I’m so miserable. I feel so defeated. I wish for an end to all this pain. Someone shoot me! Someone make this stop! I feel so absolutely horrible! I’m shaking like a leaf. I cant seem to stop. I’ve buried my head in nitros soft fur. And right now I just want to die. I want to stop to quit to not live I want an end to the misery and pain. I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate my life, I know that sounds dramatic but this is shit. Remembering the past, its shit. I hate it. I know tomorrow I’ll probably feel differently but for right now this bloody sucks. If anyones around I can really use a friend.

Pain its etched all over her face

That look
Pure terror
Written all over her face
She tries
So hard
To erase
The pain
Its etched on her face
Hard to let others in
She tries in vein
to hide it
but…
No matter what she does
Its still there
Feels like it will never go away
So to distract from it
She gets up
Goes to the kitchen
Makes a coffee
Runs a bubble bath
Has a long hot soak in it
Hoping that these little things
Make her feel ok again
Only time will tell

Everybody hurts! Song lyric sunday!

For Song lyric sunday:
https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/2019/05/04/cinco-de-mayo/

So this week for song lyric sunday, jim has challenged us to pick a song that respresents hurt, agony, or suffering.

Here is my choice, its REM’S everybody hurts

And the lyrics to the song…

Everybody hurts, by REM

When the day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life, well hang on

Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (Hold on)
If you think you’ve had too much
Of this life, well hang on

‘Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don’t throw your hand, oh no

Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone
No, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts

No, no, no, no you are not alone

Night time is…

Nights are A scary time for me
Ghosts from my past
Creep in
Unseen faces
Tell me things
Whisper in my ear
Haunt me
I think crazy thoughts
Cant quite stop them
Even though I want to
Sleep does not come
No matter what I do
Holding on
Held together with superglue
I sit, wait
For the night to end
For the daylight to return
Only then
Will I be
Ok, safe, happy

Poetry…give up the fight

tears trickle
blurry vision
seaping from her eyes
down her cheeks they cascade
she’s in pain
not physical pain
its all emotional pain
hiding her feelings
she cries into her pillow
hoping nobody will hear her
her sorrow is immense
her overwhelm is palpable
her expression so full of sadness
drained, alone, and so, so tired
she is ready to give up
give up this fight
forever!