so i saw dr. barry this morning. Our appointment went well.
we talked about the fact that my mood had dipped for the last week, and how I was going to go back to the basement club and mind my mental health better than I had been doing. she thought that was a very good idea. I told her about all the staff changes in the basement club, how unsettling the whole thing was for us. She agreed it would be and could understand why it was effecting us so deeply.
we talked about symptoms, mainly sleep, mood, and dissociative stuff. I told her about therapy, about this weeks session. We decided to wait until the end of the month before adding back any more meds to our regime. She asked me if there were any more incidents of insiders trying to OD or stockpiling meds, I said there wasnt. So the next time I see her she said she’d look at adding back the prozac and lyrica or maybe just one of them, she said we’d talk about it at the next apt.
She asked me if the social worker Mary had called me to let me know about applying for more PA hours, how I’d have to go through my public health nurse to apply, that the social worker cant do it for me. I said she had called me. Then she broke the news to me as gently as she could.
Mary is moving on. She will no longer be the social worker on dr. barrys team. She got another job, a better one, and she took it. She’s not even with the team a year yet. And now she’s moving on. I was just getting to know her and now she’ll be gone.
I sat and listened, and sighed inwardly. Honestly, I wasnt shocked. I did however expect that she’d be around longer than 8 months. But well, she wont be. So I guess thats that. Someone new will be appointed. So it will be me trying to get to know another new face, another new social worker.
Dr. barry did say that she thought that there would be no social worker on her team for a while. She didnt know how long it would take before a new one will be appointed. Mary is working out her notice and then she will leave.
There is one small consolation. At least I hadnt built up too much of a relationship or bond with her. We were only just starting out. That is one good thing at least. There wont be another painful goodbye.
In fact if I am honest, I didnt think she was all that good at what she did. Granted I am comparing her to Karen, who was brilliant at what she did, but still. She mary, just expected me to do everything, and did not do much of anything herself. I am all for advocating for oneself but well when a social workers job is to do certain things, and then they say you can ring this or that person, speak to them, and stuff try to get done what you had asked her to do, its not good.
Dr. barry also told me new junior doctors had started this week. Two male doctors. It really doesnt make a huge difference to me, I dont ever have to see them, but I prefer when there is a female on the team, just in case dr. barry is ever out or on holiday, I have a doctor I can go to in an emergency. But these new ones are both males.
Those two pieces of news were the big pieces.
she is bringing me back in 10 days time, because on the day she’d usually see me there is some other clinic going on and she cant see patients on that day, so she asked me if I wanted to come back in 10 days time. I said that was fine, but it now means I will have therapy and my dr. barry apt on the same day.
I bet I’ll be exhausted after two apts in one day!
Anyway, it was a good appointment overall.
So its the weekend coffee share over at eclectic allys!
I’m late this week but here goes! 😀
Weekend coffee share!
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that last weekend we had a bbq…just me, my mom and my dad. My sister was gone to her partners family for dinner on sunday, so we decided to have a bbq just the 3 of us. It was lovely. We barbecued sausages, burgers and ribs. I even got to have leftovers. I’d tell you that its now Tuesday and I didn’t sleep very well last night. I think I managed about 3 hours of sleep. I have to go volunteering today and I am wondering how I’ll keep my eyes open. I love volunteering though so am looking forward to it. I’d tell you that my social worker Mary just phoned me to tell me that the organisation that we applied to for funding were on to her, with a break down of the funding I received from them so far. I have a little bit of money left to spend, and now I’m wondering what to spend it on, because its not lots of money, and things are so expensive. I also asked Mary if she’d help me apply for more PA hours. She said she’d ring me about that next week. I know she’s very busy so that’s ok with me. I know she will ring me when she’s ready. I’d tell you that today before I go volunteering my dad is calling to me, he has to drop off some butter and my water which mom bought me, which I need as its very hot here. I’d tell you that I heard on the news that the weather is supposed to change over the next few days, we’re supposed to get tons of rain and some storms as well. We need some rain though. Its been so hot here lately. I like hot weather but right now I’m kinda fed up with the heat. I want a bit of rain, it will cool things off. I’d tell you that my friend is coming over tonight, and we’re going to hang out. I’ll be helping her to put a new book onto her phone. She just finished one I gave her recently, it was called beautiful boy and she liked it a lot. Well that’s about it for this late weekend coffee share, thanks for joining me 😀
SO OUR MEETING WITH MARY WENT WELL.
SHE WAS NICE. I GOT ALONG JUST FINE WITH HER.
SHE RANG THE PLACE THAT IS SUPPLYING THE FUNDING. WE HAD A LONG TALK TO THEM. SHE PUT THE PHONE ON LOUD SPEAKER. AND WE WERE ABLE TO GET ALL THE INFO WE NEEDED TO PROCEED WITH THE APPLICATION.
THEY ARE TRYING TO SAY I ALREADY GOT 10 THOUSAND EUROS FROM THEM. FOR WHAT I AM NOT SURE. I KNOW I GOT MONEY FOR TAXI’S TO TAKE ME TO MEDICAL APTS. I ALSO GOT A CCTV UNIT FOR MY HOUSE. OTHER THAN THAT I DID NOT GET ANYTHING ELSE. TO MY KNOWLEDGE THAT COMES TO 5000 EURO. THE CAP IS 15 THOUSAND.
THE GUY ON THE PHONE SAID TO PUT QUOTATIONS IN AND ONCE MY NAME COMES UP AN ADVISOR WILL BE ASSIGNED TO ME. THEN THEY’LL EITHER APPROVE OR DENY MY APPLICATION.
I WANTED TO TALK TO MARY ABOUT APPLYING FOR MORE PA HOURS BUT WE DIDNT HAVE TIME AS THE CALL TO THE FUNDING PLACE WENT ON FOR AGES. SO I’LL HAVE TO RING HER IN A WEEK OR TWO AND MAKE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT TO MEET HER AGAIN TO GO THROUGH THAT.
SHE WAS REALLY NICE THOUGH. SHE PUT US AT EASY REALLY QUICKLY. SHE WAS CHATTY AND VERY FRIENDLY. I LIKED THE WAY SHE TRIED TO CHAT TO US TO PUT US AT EASE.
SHE CALLED US CAROL ANNE TOO WHICH WAS NICE. AND WHEN WE CALLED THE FUNDING PLACE WE TOLD HER WE’D HAVE TO GO BY OUR BIRTH WITH THEM NAME AND SHE WAS OK WITH THAT AS WELL.
OVERALL IT WAS A GOOD MEETING. I NEEDNT HAVE BEEN WORRIED. NO SHE’S NOT KAREN, BUT I THINK I CAN LEARN TO LIKE HER.
I DONT WANT TO MEET THIS DAMN SOCIAL WORKER. I WISH WE DIDNT HAVE TO MEET HER. IM NOT FEELING GOOD THIS MORNING. NOT REALLY FEELING UP TO CHATTING. AND SHE’S NOT KAREN. AND I DONT WANT TO GET USED TO SOMEONE NEW. I WISH I DIDNT HAVE TO.
JUST EMAILED EILEEN. FEEL SO UNSETTLED THIS MORNING. REALLY REALLY NOT UP FOR MEETING MARY. JUST REALLY FEELING LIKE I CANT COPE WITH TALKING TO SOMEONE NEW THAT I DONT REALLY KNOW.
UG. I BETTER GO START GETTING READY SO I WILL LOOK PRESENTABLE.
today i called our social worker and i made an appointment with her for next friday at 11:30. her name is mary. im needing help with a couple of things. mainly i need help applying for more pa hours. i also need help with applying for a funeral grant from a local organisation who give funding to abuse survivors, i know im still young but this grant is to pay for funeral expenses so that if anything happens and you died unexpectedly your family wouldnt be left with the bill. i’m entitled to it so i might as well apply for the funding. i also want her to help me apply for funding so that i can get my back yard slabbed. mom has COPD and she wont be able to continue cutting the grass, so i will need the slabbing done, otherwise someone will have to come in and cut my grass and i will have to pay them to do it, so in th e long run its better. i’m in a bit of a rush to apply for this stuff, because the cut off date is august. after that there wont be any more funding available. so hopefully she can help me out. i miss my old social worker karen still. but i guess i have to give mary a chance to prove herself. its just karen was so competent and awesome at her job. i miss her tons. im sure mary will be nice too though. we’ll see. all i can do is try and see how things go.
my mom came over. she is cutting my grass for me as i speak. i’m sooo lucky. if she didnt do it I’d have no one to do it.
i am so thankful for her. she said when she’s done cutting both the back and frontgarden that she’ll help me cook dinner.
i’m going to offer to pay for a taxi back home for her. its the least i can do.
i have to try to contact my social worker mary to look into applying for funding to get my back garden slabbed. there is funding available to do some home improvements so i’m going to see if i can get it. hopefully mary can do something for me and help me to apply and hopefully the organisation who gives out the funding wont say no.
mom has COPD and she really isnt able to be doing heavy work like cutting grass. she has breathing attacks and has to take it very slowly when she’s doing it.
so yeah hoping i can make life easier for her by doing this and getting the garden slabbed with concrete.
i am grateful for her help though. and also it feels good to be back home again. i didnt go volunteering today. i said i’d wait another week before i go back.
So I just finished the book a long way from home by Cathy Glass. A wonderful read. Different from most of her other foster care memoirs, this is Annas story. A story about a little girl adopted from an orphanage who came into foster care after being diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder and when her behaviour became unmanageable for her parents.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was a poignant read. Deeply moving, very sad in places, but also full of hope.
The summary for the book follows.
The true story of two-year-old Anna, abandoned by her natural parents, left alone in a neglected orphanage.
Elaine and Ian had travelled halfway round the world to adopt little Anna. She couldn’t have been more wanted, loved and cherished. So why was she now in foster care and living with me? It didn’t make sense.
Until I learned what had happened…
Dressed only in nappies and ragged T-shirts, the children were incarcerated in their cots. Their large eyes stared out blankly from emaciated faces. Some were obviously disabled, others not, but all were badly undernourished. Flies circled around the broken ceiling fans and buzzed against the grids covering the windows. The only toys were a few balls and a handful of building bricks, but no child played with them. The silence was deafening and unnatural. Not one of the 30 or so infants cried, let alone spoke.
This book can be gotten from audible, its also available on kindle. and in paperback. It is Cathy glass’s latest foster care memoir.