Childhoods monster

In childhood’s tender years, I faced a monster’s fright

A terror that lurked in the shadows of night

Its presence struck fear in every heart

And left me shattered, torn apart

Its eyes glowed bright with wicked delight

As it whispered cruel and hurtful things in my ear

It laughed at my tears, my pleas and my fears

And left me feeling lost, alone, and filled with despair

But time went by, and I grew old enough to see

That the monster was just a figment of my mind’s eye

A product of fear, of vulnerability and pain

A symbol of the trauma that I couldn’t explain

But even though it was gone, its mark remained

A scar that lingered, a wound that wouldn’t heal in vain

I carried its weight, its shame, its guilt and its pain

And it seemed like it would forever remain

But one day I realized that I had a choice to make

To let the monster define me, or to break its hold on my life

I chose to face it, to confront the past and its shame

To let go of the pain, and to reclaim my name

I started to heal, slowly but surely as time went by

I learned to forgive myself, to let go of the lies

I learned to love myself, to see my worth and my might

And I emerged from the darkness into the light

The monster may have been real in my mind’s eye

But it’s no longer alive, no longer has a hold on me tonight

I’m free from its grasp, free from its chains

Free to live my life, to love and to heal from the pains

The scars may remain, but they’re a reminder of my strength

Of how far I’ve come, of how much I’ve lengthened

I’m no longer held back by the monster’s hold on me

I’m free to be me, to live wild and carefree

Author: Carol anne

I am in my mid 40's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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