blinding fear

Panic grips me
fear takes hold
blinding fear
red hot fear
as I shake, shiver
quiver, cower
flashes of emotions of all kinds
cross my features
I shrink down to the ground
curl into a ball
lie here
fear gripping every fibre of my being
as I wait
for the pain to subside
for the panic to leave me

Healing words of the day!

Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one’s liberty.
Henri-Frédéric Amiel

I definitely think if we conquer our difficulties, and face our fears, life will become much nicer.
Plus the sense of achievement we will feel will be awesome too!
Go out and live your life, face your fears, and conquer them!


Worrying, worrying

I’m a little worried tonight. My periods got heavy again. They had lightened a little, but today they are heavy again. So I rang my gp. He was supposed to call me back, he never did. I want to ask him how come I am now getting a period, when my ovaries are gone, and all that’s left is a minute bit of ovary tissue.
Its very strange, I hope nothings wrong.
I just want to query it. Better safe than sorry, right?
Now I’ll have to wait until Tuesday to call again as Mondays a bank holiday here! I wish I didn’t have to wait all weekend. Maybe I can do a little googling.
Does anyone know anything about if your ovaries are gone and all you have is a tiny bit of ovary tissue, if that can still make you have a period?
After 5 years of no period?
It seems odd to me!

Emotion substitute

Substitute fear
For joy
Substitute those emotions
And you will
Live your best life
No doubt about it
We should all
Try to be
Sometimes it fails
But mostly
Having those emotions
On most days
Is a great thing
I’ll take it
Even on my worst days
My most emotional days
Having a positive outlook
Is key to me
Being functional and that
To me
is what keeps me

Pain its etched all over her face

That look
Pure terror
Written all over her face
She tries
So hard
To erase
The pain
Its etched on her face
Hard to let others in
She tries in vein
to hide it
No matter what she does
Its still there
Feels like it will never go away
So to distract from it
She gets up
Goes to the kitchen
Makes a coffee
Runs a bubble bath
Has a long hot soak in it
Hoping that these little things
Make her feel ok again
Only time will tell