Morning ramble

its 5 AM. And I’m awake. Didnt sleep a wink tonight. I’ve been too overwhelmed and emotional to sleep. I’ve been thinking about therapy and my dr. barry appointment thats happening later today. I ended up calling the weekend team yesterday. i decided I’d see what was up, why they never called me like they were supposed too. I spoke to Aisling, who is a lovely nurse. She said the referral never came in. Obviously something went wrong with the fax machine and it went astray. She let me stay on the phone though and we ended up talking about a lot of stuff. Sleep, flashbacks, meds, anxiety, intrusive thoughts. It was a very helpful conversation and I felt much better after talking to her. During our conversation I told her I was nervous about going home from my parents and being on my own tonight. I managed but I’m having a lot of trouble with flashbacks and intrusive thoughts. I’m also having a lot of anxiety and what ifs keep going through my head. Its not good. I hope I can talk with dr. barry and Eileen today about some of my thoughts and feelings and get some things out. My words seem to be lost though so not sure if I will be able too do that. Here’s hoping.

Author: Carol anne

I am in my mid 40's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

23 thoughts on “Morning ramble”

  2. Well, it’s my morning and your evening and I hope you’ve had a good session with Dr. Barry. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time at night. I know that being sick doesn’t help and can mess up your sleep patterns and the way your meds react. Sending hugs and a cuddle for Nitro. xxx

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      2. I’m trying anyway. I’m home awhile now but I might be going back in in the New Year not sure yet though if things don’t improve I probably will have to go back in

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      1. Oh my anxiety is the same. Idk about you but I don’t enjoy being anxious cause it makes the temptations to cut and thoughts of self harm go crazy in my mind.

        I’m here if you ever need to talk
        Lifeasiknowchanges

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      3. What do you mean by you’re appreciate more than I know. Tell me about- I hate feeling anxious on a daily basics. Do you keep a journal? Since it helps me manage my anxiety, self harm thoughts and temptations to cut myself

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      4. Sorry my phone messed up, I’m using dictation, what I meant to say was I appreciate your support more than you know, it means a lot and at the Eiffel you you and the support you give me on my blog phone messed up again not evil I meant value ey value you

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