its 5 AM. And I’m awake. Didnt sleep a wink tonight. I’ve been too overwhelmed and emotional to sleep. I’ve been thinking about therapy and my dr. barry appointment thats happening later today. I ended up calling the weekend team yesterday. i decided I’d see what was up, why they never called me like they were supposed too. I spoke to Aisling, who is a lovely nurse. She said the referral never came in. Obviously something went wrong with the fax machine and it went astray. She let me stay on the phone though and we ended up talking about a lot of stuff. Sleep, flashbacks, meds, anxiety, intrusive thoughts. It was a very helpful conversation and I felt much better after talking to her. During our conversation I told her I was nervous about going home from my parents and being on my own tonight. I managed but I’m having a lot of trouble with flashbacks and intrusive thoughts. I’m also having a lot of anxiety and what ifs keep going through my head. Its not good. I hope I can talk with dr. barry and Eileen today about some of my thoughts and feelings and get some things out. My words seem to be lost though so not sure if I will be able too do that. Here’s hoping.