has set in. I just feel so defeated.
I really cant deal. I am so overwhelmed. I really cant wait until tomorrow to see dr. barry. I need the apt. I need to talk this out. If I can, that is.
I am also seeing my OT mark tomorrow morning. I used to see him once a month. but since I started the ILS course we don’t see each other much. But he’s always only a phone call away.
Tomorrow will be our first apt in a while. Its just a general catch up.
I just feel so blah tonight. Everything feels like its going in slow motion. I feel very sluggish and slowed down. I don’t feel like doing anything. I need to shower for tomorrow. I put the hot water on but I don’t feel like getting in the shower. I just want to curl up and hide.
I will shower later on because I know its the right things to do so I don’t smell bad. I don’t want to go to see dr. barry and smell bad and look dirty because I didn’t shower.
I’m just on a bit of a downward spiral. And I cant seem to pull myself out of it.
so much for having a week off. If I knew it was going to be this bad I wouldn’t have wanted a week off. I hate when my mood is so bad. It is just so all consuming.
I decided on Thursday I will go to the basement club. I haven gone there since I started on the ILS course. They will think I don’t want to come in any more. Truth is though I haven’t had time. I haven’t had any time off to just go there and call in to see everyone. I am looking forward to doing tha tthis Thursday and possibly Friday too.

91 responses to “And yeah depression…”

  1. BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com Avatar

    Awe, Sweetie, maybe it would make you feel a little better if you did shower, and fix yourself a cup of tea. Tyr looking up funny blogs to lighten your mood. If this Marc person is readily available to talk on the phone, why don’t you call at least for a pep-talk to motivate you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      I would but its night time. I only have his work number, he finishes at 5, its now almost 9 pm. I’ll shower though and maybe call a ffriend. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com Avatar

        I think you should definitely do both. Try to relax, honey. Meantime, I’m going to freak out personally, because I exceed the counties limit on disability and can not be covered under regular county Medicaid, now I have to contact the state. I am so pissed off right now, I’m about to scream!

        Like

  2. Cyranny Avatar

    I agree with Beckie… Even if you don’t feel like showering, it might make you feel better to take care of yourself a little bit. Sending big hugs!! xx

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks! I know it will. So I will shower. I dont want to look awful! and I might feel good after it!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. eirlysgwenllian Avatar

    Oh, sorry you’re in such a bad place right now. That is really rubbish. Hopefully DR Barry wll be helpful, I’m sure talking to her will lift you up at least a little bit. Tight hugs. You can always email me if you need.

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks Emilia. I might. I need to try to pull out of it. I am trying. not easy though ug. xxx

      Like

  4. angellic23 Avatar

    I hope your day gets better. It sucks to be depressed. Amilia

    >

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      I know. I hate it. Really bloody sucks. xx

      Like

      1. angellic23 Avatar

        Are you any better?
        Amilia

        Liked by 1 person

      2. manyofus1980 Avatar

        A little bit, thanks 💝

        Like

  5. Joseph Emerson Avatar

    I feel for you. At least you are making some plans and finding things to look forward too. You can and will pull through. Keep writing and sharing… It helps👌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks Joseph. Will do. xx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. socialworkerangela Avatar
    socialworkerangela

    Hugs I know that feeling

    Like

  7. shatteredwishes Avatar

    Hang in there new friend!!! You came by my blog a couple of days ago, so I just came by to show yours some love. You keep fighting the good fight, depression is REALLY HARD I know it too well myself. Rooting for you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thank you. You are awesome. I really appreciate your kind words. Xx 🤗💜🙂😘

      Liked by 1 person

  8. undefined66 Avatar

    When you get down in the dumps what do you bring with you? Can you bring a journal or music or do you do art? Perhaps it is a hot soak in a good smelling bath with a book you can relate to? Sorry you have to deal with this so intensly. Hugs and hang on!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thank you. Journalling helps. I don’t really do art that much. But I do like music. And I like reading. Yes all those things help me a lot

      Liked by 1 person

  9. undefined66 Avatar

    do you diffuse essential oils? How is your vitamin D and B levels?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      I’m not sure how my vitamins are. but I do use essential oil sometimes, I like them a lot

      Like

  10. me Avatar

    Take care ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks Hun ❤️🙂💝

      Liked by 1 person

  11. itsgoodtobecrazysometimes Avatar

    Thinking of you, big hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks Trina, I appreciate the hugs, they are nice to get hope you’re well this morning Hun💜😘

      Liked by 1 person

      1. itsgoodtobecrazysometimes Avatar

        I have slept a fair amount (6 hours) only waking up 3 times that I remember so I am feeling a bit better. How are you doing?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. manyofus1980 Avatar

        I’m feeling a little bit better this morning know that I’ve seen Doctor Barry but now my laptop is acting up so I’m a bit worried about that

        Liked by 1 person

      3. itsgoodtobecrazysometimes Avatar

        turn it off and turn it back on? There you have my full expertise of computers. Glad you are feeling better

        Liked by 1 person

      4. manyofus1980 Avatar

        Lol I would but it’s actually off it won’t come back on LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      5. itsgoodtobecrazysometimes Avatar

        My next suggestion is to throw it against the wall. Did I ever mention I am not good with computers? Have you figured something out?

        Like

      6. manyofus1980 Avatar

        lolol yeah for nw i have. going to use a netbook for now, ony win xp though, but that will have to do for now. not sure whats going on with the laptop.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. itsgoodtobecrazysometimes Avatar

        I hope you sort it, I was without a laptop for nearly a week and it drove me bonkers

        Liked by 1 person

  12. spinster patty Avatar

    Well, it’s a good time for a catch up appointment. I can totally relate to the shower thing. Yeah I’d shower if I had a doc appointment but normally each day it’s a struggle for me too. I do agree that once you get in there and do it you will feel a little better. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks Patty, I did shower, and I did feel better after it 💜😘

      Liked by 1 person

      1. spinster patty Avatar

        Maybe I should take my own advice 🙂 ❤

        Like

  13. G. Collerone Avatar

    Sorry the depression is bad. I am glad you are seeing Dr. Barry tomorrow (though might be today lol). I understand not wanting to shower. It is so hard when you feel like crap. Sending hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks. I saw Doctor Barry and it went well. It always goes well though, I really am glad I saw her today

      Like

      1. G. Collerone Avatar

        Glad it went well

        Liked by 1 person

  14. undefined66 Avatar

    my mom was very depressed, doctor ran some tests and found her to have very low levels of D and B. He started her on vitamins to increase both and it has made a tremendous difference. I wish you well

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thank you. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to look into it

      Like

  15. ichoosechrist2 Avatar

    I hope your depression has lifted.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      A little bit, thanks

      Like

  16. Carolanne Avatar
    Carolanne

    There must be something in the air — everyone I know including myself is going through a funk. And some times you just need to lay down and curl up and do nothing. Truthfully, I look at showers/bathing as a way to relax and decompress.

    Hope everything goes well with Dr. Barry. Hugs from afar!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thank you Hun. I’m okay now at the moment anyway. We’ll see how long it lasts. The appointment was great. Glad I went, and glad a shower to

      Liked by 1 person

  17. beehalton2 Avatar

    Hope you get through this ok. I am going back to work after nearly two months off because of depression. I hate it too. Makes one feel so helpless!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Yes that’s it, it is a helpless feeling, it’s horrible I hope you have a good time when you go back to work xxx

      Like

      1. beehalton2 Avatar

        Thank you very much. It’ll be stressful but the team I work in is really understanding which makes things easier. Hope you feel better soon. This too shall pass you know 😊

        Like

  18. Gretta Avatar

    Actually no matter if someone doesn’t know afterward its up to other people that
    they will assist, so here it occurs.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Leslie Robin Kassal Avatar
    Leslie Robin Kassal

    Carol Anne:

    Leslie here.

    Do you belong to a Clubhouse (for recovery) In your area? If you do, can you tell me your impressions of it? Thanks Carol Anne. I am floundering and need to find help. Love to you, Leslie in Maryland USA

    💜peace in your heart💜 Leslie

    >

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Hi leslie I do! I belong to the basement club, which is a drop in centre for people with mh issues. i love it! it has given me so much hope. I would highly recommend going to a clubhouse if you can!

      Like

  20. personalgrowthsuccessblog Avatar

    Prayers for you babe! Check my blog post for today! It should give you a good burst of encouragement 🙂 http://personalgrowthsuccessblog.com/2018/03/22/dont-let-the-struggle-fool-you-the-blessing-is-there-keep-going

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      hi! thank you! great post, too! loved it. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. personalgrowthsuccessblog Avatar

        Thank you so much 🙂

        Like

      2. manyofus1980 Avatar

        Your welcome, and thanks for the supportive comments you left on my blog too. xxx

        Like

      3. personalgrowthsuccessblog Avatar

        You’re welcome❤❤❤

        Like

  21. talkandcheese Avatar
    talkandcheese

    You will come through the other side of this as you know, but it’s always so hard to believe that when you’re in a horrible depressive low. The sun will shine again, I promise. I wrote this blog a while ago, and wondered if it may be of some comfort for you at this time. Sending so much love, support and strength. https://talkandcheese.net/2018/02/19/life-with-bipolar/

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks so much. the blog was really helpful. I appreciate your support. It means a lot. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  22. anujapatankar7715 Avatar

    I hope you’re better… I was going through a tough phase myself and i have written a poem on the same. ..it would mean a lot to me if you could check my page out as I’m new here…
    I’ve posted very few poems but i’d like to know your views on them!
    Thanks

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Sure I will check it out…thanks for the kind comment, I am doing better now. xxx

      Like

  23. misfitqueen19 Avatar

    I’m just like you when I’m depressed. I just want to stay in my room and shut the world out completely. Unfortunately, since we have obligations it forces people like us to go out in public even when we would rather not. I’m glad you were able to go and from what the comments shows you seem to be a little better💕

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Yep. Doing much better. Its still there but I’m fighting through it. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  24. randyran80 Avatar
    randyran80

    Hi I’m sorry to hear of the challenges you are facing. Below is a link to an article that may be a source of comfort.

    https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g200907/depression-how-treat/#?insight%5Bsearch_id%5D=5c752512-32ea-4860-b758-802ddf0e9c2c&insight%5Bsearch_result_index%5D=3

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks for that xxx ❤️

      Like

  25. Fozzie Avatar

    Try and stay positive and know that many millions of people are in a similar position to you. I’ve written a post about anxiety and depression if it helps. Good luck!

    Like

  26. thewintersdance Avatar

    You can do this!!!!!! You are stronger than you think. Please read some of my segments – I hope it will give you a little hope, and comfort. It’s a dark place, but we can get out of it. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks! I appreciate your kind words! I am much better now! ❤

      Like

  27. Mummanopoly Avatar

    Well done for sharing. I’m commenting nearly 2 months down the line. I hope you are on the road to recovery! 💛💛🙏🏾

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      HI. AM STILL STRUGGLING BUT SOME DAYS ARE OK. I’M ALWAYS WORKING ON FEELING LESS DEPRESSED. XXX OH AND, THANKS FOR THE NICE COMMENT! XXX

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mummanopoly Avatar

        Great post! You’re welcome.

        Like

      2. manyofus1980 Avatar

        Glad you like it! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  28. Young Dumb & Bipolar Avatar

    I’m new! Please follow and let me know what you think! Xox

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      im following you! you have a great blog! xo

      Like

      1. Young Dumb & Bipolar Avatar

        Thank you so much! Any improvements I could make?

        Like

      2. manyofus1980 Avatar

        No? just be yourself which your already doing a fine job of! xx

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Young Dumb & Bipolar Avatar

        Thank you for all your amazing support!

        Like

      4. manyofus1980 Avatar

        your welcome! ❤

        Like

  29. Shruti Sharma - dreamwriter Avatar

    Please check my latest post ‘Insecurity, Anxiety and Depression’. It’s specially for parents to know and understand better about their children and what they’re being going through. It’s really important to spread awareness and saving lives of our precious little kids. You’re doing great work. God bless you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks 🙏💙

      Like

  30. Oliviasdepressionblog Avatar

    Well done honey, good on you for battling through it. You are very brave, very strong and it has given me hope. I only recently started my own blog about my own personal experience, and reading yours has made me feel better about it, i’m not quite as scared now, so thank you so much. If interested you can check out my blog, i am making a stand towards some of the terrible medical teams who just shrug us off and society being so closed minded.
    ocanobiesblog.wordpress.com

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      hi! I’d love to follow you! I’m going to go check out your blog now! ❤ thanks for reading mine! xoxox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oliviasdepressionblog Avatar

        If we all support each other we will go far ❤️❤️

        Like

      2. manyofus1980 Avatar

        Agreed! ❤ thank you! xoxo

        Like

  31. SoYoungSoDamaged Avatar
    SoYoungSoDamaged

    This is so raw and real. I know exactly how you are feeling! ❤ x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks sorry you know how it feels too xo

      Liked by 1 person

  32. christcenteredruminations Avatar

    I understand what you are going through. Depression is not the best feeling. Doctors can be useful though. However, do you believe in God? I honestly believe God can show you a way out of this issue. All you need to do is invite him into your life. Find a quiet place, imagine that Jesus is in front of you, discuss your issues with him the same way you will with a close friend. Tell him all your worries and ask him to help you. While you are praying you need to be focused and avoid distractions. You might get the feeling that God is not there or that God is not listening, this is a trick from the devil, don’t fall for it. When you get an answer to your prayer, remember to thank God. Also don’t forget to maintain a relationship with him, keep telling him about yourself and finding out about him, so that he can provide you with continued comfort now and forever more.
    Good luck and God bless.

    Like

    1. manyofus1980 Avatar

      Thanks for the kind comment!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. christcenteredruminations Avatar

        Thanks for the good response. I sincerely hope you give my suggestion a try.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. manyofus1980 Avatar

        I will do, thanks

        Liked by 1 person

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