Two neighbors, Marla and Benton, had been at odds for years, but today’s argument was destined to go down as the worst of them all.
It started when Marla stepped outside to water her roses and spotted Benton marching across his yard wearing the most hideous hat she had ever seen. It was neon green, covered in plastic daisies, and topped with a floppy feather that drooped like it was ashamed to be part of the ensemble.
“What is that supposed to be?” Marla called out before she could stop herself.
Benton turned, puffing up proudly. “It’s my gardening hat. Stylish, isn’t it?”
“It’s an eyesore! My roses are wilting just looking at it!”
Benton gasped, clutching the brim of his feathered monstrosity. “You’re just jealous you don’t have the courage to wear something bold!”
“Bold?” Marla scoffed. “If bold means scaring every squirrel in a five-mile radius, then yes, it’s very bold.”
The squirrels, in fact, were watching from the fence line, visibly conflicted.
Their argument escalated. Marla accused Benton’s hat of lowering neighborhood property values; Benton claimed Marla’s roses were overrated and probably intimidated by his fashion sense. Words flew, hands waved, and the feather on Benton’s hat shook like it was trying to flee the chaos.
Finally, Mrs. Patel from across the street stepped out and shouted, “Both of you! Stop fighting. Benton, the hat is… memorable. Marla, your roses are fine. Please let the rest of us enjoy our Saturday in peace.”
Marla and Benton fell silent. Benton’s hat drooped. Marla’s roses glistened in the sunlight.
“Truce?” Benton muttered.
“Fine,” Marla said. “But only if you promise never to wear that thing again.”
Benton hesitated. “I’ll… consider retiring it.”
And though neither would admit it, both of them laughed a little later—each picturing that hideous hat perched triumphantly on Benton’s head as if it had started the whole argument by itself.
Therapy Bits 
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