Therapy Bits

So this afternoon my sis and I took our mom out to lunch to celebrate mother’s day.

We’ll also celebrate it tomorrow, which is actually mother’s day, as my sis has invited us all out to her house for dinner.

But anyway, we were going to drive to Cobh, a suburb of the city, but it was raining hard, and we decided we’d go somewhere else.

We ended up going to a really nice restaurant called nosh!

My sis and me said we’d go halves, and pay for mom’s lunch between the two of us.

I had a jacket potato filled with chicken, bacon, cheese, and a salad on the side.

Mom and my sis had triple decker toasted sandwiches with ham, cheese, red onion, tomato, and coleslaw in them.

I was going to get a crape for dessert, but then the meal was so big that I couldn’t finish it, and so I decided not to have dessert, but I went to Starbucks on the way home instead and I got a Frappuccino with caramel syrup.

After our lunch, we walked around the mall for a while. I got a few things, I got a little plaque to hang in my hall that says “the fairies meet here”. I also got a bit 2 liter bottle to drink from. And I got a new bra as well.

I also bought some sugar free juice, that I can mix into my water, it was apple and strawberry flavor.

I’m drinking it now and it tastes amazing.

Mom said she really enjoyed her day. I did too.

It kept my mind distracted and the racy feeling I had earlier wasn’t so bad this afternoon. However when I got home I had to take a valium right away to combat my anxiety.

I’m planning on just relaxing for the remainder of the evening. My dad is watching a rugby match, Ireland and England are playing. I have no interest in sports, but I am sitting in the living room with my laptop.

It’ll be nice to go to my sis’s house tomorrow for Sunday lunch. She’s cooking lamb. With all the trimmings. And she said she’d drop me home afterwards so I’m grateful to her for the ride as it saves me taxi fares.

I may be being admitted to the psych hospital at some point this week, so I need to pack a bag in preparation just in case it happens at short notice. Mom said she’d help me to do that tomorrow. When I told her that I was probably heading for an admission, she was surprisingly calm, and she said “well, if you need to go just go”.

I think she knows how hard I’m struggling at the moment with my mental health.

I said to her this morning, I’d rather be anyone else but me right now. I hate me. I hate how much I am struggling, and I hate how I respond and react to triggers.

So yeah. That is all the updates from here.