this week i have to work on making time for the kids. eileen said so.
the little rascals told her I wasnt giving them enough time out to play, watch cartoons, etc.
so well, i promised them that every day this week for an hour or two one or two of them whoever wanted to can come out and do whatever they would like to do, within reason of course.
this made them super happy. they were all hugging me in turn.
the truth is? i’m super nervous. since we started the ILS course I am very careful how and when the kids come around. I dont want them to have a bad experience with staff here, or other residents etc.
I guess I want to protect them?
But in our did reassessment recently remy did say its important for me to give them some set time every day. That it may help us at night when they seem to become very activated.
So we’ll give it a try I guess. See how it goes.
i fraid i fraid of tha dark
i sad i want eileen
i want her hug me
i need her i need a hug
i sad an skard
i no lik nit tim
i no lik bad peple in my head
and in my dreems
i no like it!
it’s knowing how hard life can be
and knowing before the age of three
its being rejected before you can speak
and living by it week by week
no hugs, no tickles, no high fives
nothing to show you exist, your alive
you cant be stirred from your bed
you are trying to get the nighttmare out of your head
we gotta hav pancaks
thay was so nummy
we only had lemon juise on ares
that ok tho
they wer stil nise
i likd them
it shrove tuesday
dat why we had them
everone eat pancaks on dis day
atleast that what i know
i fink we be hav them for diner tonite to
THIS IS A SUCKFEST OF A NIGHT.
I SHOULD BE ASLEEP, ITS ALMOST 2 AM
INSTEAD I AM UP RUMINATING
I AM OVERTHINKING AND PANICKING AND ANXIOUS AND FEARFUL
I MADE MYSELF SOME COFFEE, PROB NOT THE BEST IDEA BUT OH WELL IT IS WHAT IT IS
I NEED COFFEE I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND COFFEE HELPS ME CALM DOWN
PANIC IS RINNING RAMPANT THROUGH THE SYSTEM
I WROTE EILEEN AN EMAIL TO TELL HER WHAT IS GOING ON
I THINK ITS TO DO WITH MEMORIES AND BEING SCARED TO SLEEP FOR FEAR OF NIGHTMARES
WE TOOK OUR MEDS EARLY AND ALL HOPING FOR A GOOD NIGHT OF DECENT SLEEP
GOD HAVING DID IS A SUCKFEST SOMETIMES
im wachin ireland got talent
it so good
i had a chocolate chip cookies to
carol anne said i could
we took a litle nap erlier
now i going play wif darina
shes my best frend inside
shes six and im 7
she usd to be four tho
couple years ago
i made eileen a card
we go take it to her on monday
hihihi it darina
gess wat? ar bigs said we can stay up later tonite
cuz we napped today
that good i fink
i ben wachin youtube
i fink it fun fing to do
ges wat i had for diner
chiken and vegeble and bean casserole
it taste so yummy
it ar first tim have dat
i cant wait until tomoro
cuz it de wekend
and we get to play and come out
and have lotsa fun then
and i hapy bout that
cuz it boring wen we has to let the bigs be growed up all de time
ok wel i gots to go
and i going wach somefin
on net flicks
darina whose six