scary wind

is me mia
im skard of tha wind
it blowin hard
and makin a woosh noise
I no lik it
no feelin safe
I not goin bed
I wrot Eileen
I telled her I no go bed
she mit rite back soon I hop so
carol anne puted the radio on
cuz tha wind so loud
is rain ote side to
it a bad nite and I no like that
is anyone else skard of wind
and loud storms

emmys email to our therapist

its me emmy im 8
im aprils best frend
you know today you said you love us and care about us? and when you hear we been hurt and how much it makes you care more?
well i need to ask you if you only love us cuz of our abuse? or if you’d love us even if we hadnt been abused?
it makes me mad when people only love us cuz we been hurt?
i want you to love me for me and us for us and not just cuz we got hurt
will you? does that makes sense?
will you love us just cuz like does there have to be a reason or you can just love us cuz you think we’re cool?
like i dont only love you cuz your our therapist, i love you cuz your funny, and nice to emily, and nice to april and nice to everyone of us that you meet?
and your smart and we learn stuff from you and i like that and love you for teaching us?
so please please just love us for other stuff and not cuz of the abuse?

#whatif prompt September 17th

Todays whatif prompt is:

Christmas stockings
A poem from the kids about their christmas stockings

we hang them up
before going to bed
thoughts of what is in them
fill our head
will there be toys?
or stickers? or candy?
OMG, what will there be!
Well, say our bigs
Wait and see!
We close our eyes
And try to sleep
But oh no, we cant
As back downstairs we creep
Go to bed!
Or they wont be filled!
Awww but wait!
We arent tired yet, we say
Eventually we go back to bed
Put down our head
And eventually, after what seems like forever
We fall asleep
In the morning, when we wake
We rush downstairs
Eyes wide we rush to the mantelpiece
Where the stockings hang
And there, right there
Waiting for us
Is a bulging big fat christmas stocking
Full of presents
And we are so happy
As we excitedly see what we got

#whatif prompt 13th sept knucklehead!

Today’s prompt over at what if we all cared is:

knuckle head
this is allie. im doing the prompt today ok?

our bigs they are knuckle heads! they make so many rules. rules, rules we have to follow. and I hate them!

I wish there was no such thing as rules. i’d be so happy if rules didn’t exist.

our bigs have a bunch of rules. no answering the phone unless we know whose calling. no answering the door. no staying up too late. no candy only every so often as a treat.

so many rules! 😦

who hates rules? well all you grown ups are so lucky, you don’t live in a body with others, or have to share yours with lots of silly adults who make boring rules!

Taylor chats with dr. barry

gess wat guys
dis morig i talk wif dr. barry
that was good
shes so nice to me
i love her so much shes the best dr.
we talk about therapy
and i telled her eileen and me talked on monday
about boundries
and how dat eileen said to me
if carol anne closes her bedroom door at nite
that i shuld knock on it if i need her
cuz a closed door
means dat someone is takin time for themselves
and eileen says its a boundry
and it important to folo them
dr. barry ask me if i understand
i said yes but i fink it stupid
stupid boundries
who need them anyway
dr. barry was laughing at me
but not bein mean
she was just finkin i was funy
i tell her about be skard of the dark at nite
that i fraid to sleep cuz im skard
she ask me if i worked wif eileen on that
i said not yet
but we will soon i fink
she said dat mite be good idea
it was a gud chat
i like to tok to dr. barry
she make me feel safe
plus shes just so nice
and very kind
i was tell her to that i blog
she said she didnt kno dat
she fink only carol anne and liz do it
but i tell her no we all do it
and i told her i do email to
cuz i have the email grup that im in
for people wif did
and i tok to peple on that
she said it was good that i hav that
so yeah we had a good chat
i glad
love yu al
big hugs
taylor age 6


Facing my fears and ready to take on today!

I never did sleep. am up and ready to face my day. a long day at that. wont be able to nap either during the day today. am going to the basement club this morning, have a taxi booked for 9:45 to take me there. So nervous. But I know I’ll be fine, just feeling apprehensive about meeting the new staff. Will stay down there until around 1:30 and then go straight to my volunteer job. I hope we arent too busy today in friendly call. I could do with a light work load and a fairly quiet afternoon. When I come back home I have to cook dinner, so I doubt I’ll get to rest until quite late tonight. Thats ok too though. I’ll be ok. I feel kinda emotional I think its others feelings though not my own. The littles were really scared during the night, so I think its the left over feelings from that along with some nervousness and anxiety about going to the basement club. I wish rose hadnt canceled and was going with me but well I’m sure I can do this on my own too. I think if I do I will have accomplished a huge thing, setting my anxieties aside and just getting out there and doing it, going in to meet the staff despite my huge fears about it.
carol anne


5 AM starting my day!

Just made some nice yummy food to eat. At almost 5 AM. made waffles, potato waffles.

they were so good! I enjoyed them with tomato ketchup on them.

the kids were thrilled! they love potato waffles.

Darina was in heaven! She had begged me to make them for her. I was only going to eat some fruit!

But how can I say no to a cute six year old!

I cant, so…I made them and we had them and now we’re full!

Now if only sleep was gonna come, but, no such luck.

Might as well shower and get dressed now for our day!
carol anne