taylor i feel scared

it taylor. i fel sad. i scard. i no like nite time.
my hart is hurtin. is pounding. no like that. fels bad.
i got tok to eileen today. i like tok to her. it good.
we tok bout the growned ups cuz thay werent ther today
i brot us to therpy
but eileen says i shudnt do dat cuz im only six
so she said shed find the growned ups wif me
and she did
i bringed her insid wif me
and we found liz and jade
and dat was gud then cuz i was able to go inside then
to my room and not worry bout them all
eileen said she was sorry i dint getta be a kid
a litle girl like i shoulda been
she said that wasnt fair
i gess it wasnt
tonite i feling sad about remebering things
not like memories
i snuggle nitro
hes fluffy and warm
yay love him lots
taylor six

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Anight of no sleep

So its midnight. I am not able to sleep tonight. I think I been binge watching too much Netflix, lol. I am not able to switch off now. I was watching 13 reasons why. I watched one episode of that, and the other thing I was watching was fuller house. I just put on the radio, and turned off my tv. So hoping that is going to help. I have been reading email and blogs. That is keeping me busy while I cant sleep. I am anxious about therapy tomorrow morning. I know we have a lot to work on. Some insiders are really struggling, and we need to do some work with them to make sure they are ok and we don’t have a repeat of this weekend next week or during this week. I’d prefer to be stable if I could, thank you very much. So the plan is go in and work on some deep issues, and inside issues, and hope we can come up with some answers, and maybe a solution or two to the problem of memories hitting us hard, and overwhelming us. Other than therapy tomorrow morning, I have no plans for tomorrow. I am thinking if I don’t sleep much tonight, that when I get home from therapy tomorrow I can nap. I mostly always nap anyway after therapy. I am always so drained after it. I plan to come home, eat and then go for a nap and maybe read for a while. If this anxious feeling would just go away I’d be able to sleep, probably. I made a cup of hot chocolate for the kids. I can feel some of the youngest insiders in the system stirring. They aren’t feeling great tonight, so I made hot chocolate for them with marshmallows in it. That seems to make them happy so that is good. I am glad something is making them feel good. Well I’d better get going now, and hope I sleep soon.
Good night all!


it is me darina. hi everyone
it 3 am here
im wake
cant go to sleep
no like the dark
no like sleepin in the dark
we gots tha radio on
and nitro is snugling wif us
i like wen he comes be by us
it feels safe
carol anne let me hav two oreos
i love them
thay ar mint kind
yum yumy
anyone lik oreos? wat kin yu lik?
i like all kin of cookies
actuly i love all sweets haha
liz says wat kid doesnt
haha liz is funy
wel i gotta go now
i fink bigs want read for a whil
love you all
darina ballerna i six

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I woner wat is in ar box frum ar frend
im esited to find ote
I wanna see wats in der
going to opin it taday
at home later on taday
yay cant wait
it going to be fun!
I bet ther ar treets in ther
ar frend said she got us lot of nise stuf
shes so nise ta us
im hapy cuz it lik getting presints all over agin
it great
I like presints
and it wil be fun ta opin them on camra
yu al kin see wat I got then
wil dat be fun
yu wil lik it
hapy new year
I wand say dat to everone
hop yur havin fun
I tastd chicken wings last nite
thay was hot!
I ate them tho
I not skard of hot foods
ha ha
I likd them
they had chili spices in them
yumm yum!
darina ballerina im six

april here

i feel so sad. my heart hurts.
i emailed eileen. i glad i could do that.
it make me feel better to email her. i told her i need a hug.
im going lisen to her readin now
that always help make me feel safe
i think it be portant to feel safe
april 8

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No sleep tonight

I’m having a night of no sleep tonight. I kinda knew I would. As I stayed in bed late yesterday. I didn’t get up until after noon.
The kids are kinda unsettled. They’re afraid to go to bed. They’re afraid of the dark. I’m doing my best to soothe them. Unfortunately me telling them we’re safe isn’t really working. A few of them have been emailing Eileen. That’s ok, she said they could email her.
I feel like there’s no point in trying to sleep now. We’re due to go see dr. barry in a few hours. I might lie down for a while though and read. Maybe that will help. Distraction for me if nothing else. A good book always helps.
Right now I have the radio on. I’m listening to a talk show. Its good. Its a repeat of this mornings show that I missed due to being in bed.
Well I guess I’ll go make a cup of tea. I might make some herbal tea. I have berry tea here. That might be nice to have.