hapy darina

it me darina and i hapy
i hapy cuz i got to hav lots nummy food las nit
lots of turkee and ham
that wat we always hav to eat on crismas
did yu merican peple kno dat bout europeans
thay eat turkey well UK and ireland do
not sure bout everywher else
but las nit at the partee
we had turkey and ham
mash tato vegebles and gravy
stufing and roast potato
and thay even served fries on the side
hahaha that was funy
i like fries
i ate a buncha them
then for dessert we had crismas puding
wif cream and it was nise
i was so full i thot i wuld burst
i like food ha
i lik to tast all the yummy food wen we go ote
wat yu eat for crismas diner guys


littles. darina talking

liz sen me ote to tok
so her i be ha
put up wif me
rit guys
ya all lov me tho rit
cuz i am cute
hahaha everin says that
thay says yur so cute
cute as a buton
so yep dats me
cute as can be
im six in case ya dint kno
i usd to be four
but i growed to six
cuz i am smart
and cute smart and cute ha
i got to email my sissy tonit
my sissy innother system
her nam abby
she my bestest sissy
she liv far way tho in america
and im in ireland
very very far
big ocean got tween us
i visit her tho somtims
and wen i do we do things together
we go stor to get candy
and soda and we go on aventures
hahaha i like aventures

i want dr. barry or eileen to be my mom, sad feelings

its alicia. and i am sad. i really would like to be able to email dr. barry. but i dont have her email address. and i’m too scared to ask her for it. i dont think she will like it if i had it. i think she would probably say she needs her time and space and that i am not allowed to contact her between sessions. that makes me sad. at least i have our therapist eileen. i am allowed to email her. i should be happy right? but i am not. she doesnt respond to my emails. that is our agreement. and i hate it. i want a response. i feel so alone and lonely right now. my heart hurts and i want to cry. it feels like nobody loves me. i just feel sad and like i dont matter. i want to matter to dr. barry when i am not with her. but i dont think i do. i will never be her little girl. i will never be able to be adopted by her. or by eileen. and thats all i want. i just want one of them to be my mom.

its alicia and I am madder than a bee whose had its honey stolen

its alicia and i am madder than a bee whose had their honey stolen. i dont wanna go to no dumb hospital. i dont like them. i want to see dr. barry on my own and if we are in there we probably have to see the whole team, thats dr barry, the two junior docs, karen and probly some nurses too. fuck it. i want dr barry to myself! i dont trust none those people only karen, them others dont know me at all. i dont like this one little bit. its dumb. and stupid. and crappy. and i’m mad and i want to punch someone. or kick something. or break something. hospitals are so scary. especially psych ones. all them crazy people doing all kinda crazy things? im not kidding people! someone talk to me before i do something crazy and get my ass chewed!
alicia and im 9